[rooster crowing]
[yawning]
Hmm? What is this place? Uh.
[sniffing] Huh? Hm.
[sniffing] Ooh.
Squidward, did you do all this?
Well, I figured if I have to stay here,
I might as well make it livable.
Lard cake?
If you make me lard cakes every morning, Squiddy,
you can do anything you want.
Ah-ah-ah-ah, the etiquette spoon says, "eat like a gentleman."
Ah. A gentleman?
Watch me, idiot.
A gentleman eats like this.
Holy halibut! Can he actually be taught?
I can mold you.
I can squeeze this lump of clay into a cultured sophisticate.
I will make you the most tolerable roommate
of all time!
You'll be my roommaste-sterpiece.
More lard cakes, please.
I'm all out of rocks.
W-What am I gonna do now?
That was my thing.
O-oh.
[grunting]
[music playing]
Tartar sauce.
[banging]
[grunting]
[chiseling]
That stinks, too.
[grumbling]
Uh, the artist needs a lunch break.
The weather situation
is much worse across the country.
And it doesn't look like the winds
are going to stop anytime soo-oon.
[laughing] Fishy go bye-bye.
[groaning]
[snapping] Ah.
And that's the way it is in your world today.
Boring.
I don't wanna watch any of this boring stuff.
I wanna watch something decent like--
Sorry, Patrick, I need a place to hide from those jellyfish!
What jellyfish?
Every since the wind started,
a sound whistles through my holes
that jellyfish seem to love.
[wind blowing]
[whistling]
[whistling, buzzing]
[whistling]
Hey, pal. [screaming]
SpongeBob! Get outta here!
I'm sorry, SpongeBob,
but you've become a negative influence!
Ooh. Money!
Yeehaw! Beach front property!
[dinging]
Driver's license! Driver's license!
What's that mean?
On your next turn, you roll
and can move down the board
or you can go round the racetrack
as many times as you rolled.
Oh, what should I do? What should I do?
What should I do?
Give me the dice. Give me the dice
because it's my turn.
Uh-huh.
You go to jail.
[grunting, Sandy chuckles]
What are you in for, pal?
My turn.
One, two-o-o.
Oh, good thing you landed on 'Snacks',
you must be famished.
Hmm, Coral Avenue, I'll buy it.
12, I'll... drive the car.
Well, you don't get to roll when you're in jail.
Well, what do I do to get out of jail?
You have to roll a six.
Hey! You can't roll the dice when you're in jail!
Yeah, play by the rules.
Well, if the only way to get out of jail is to roll a six
and I can't roll if I'm in jail,
just how am I suppose to get out of jail?!
[growling]
Uh, here it is. The guy that is in jail
has to stay there unless he rolls a six
or someone says his name.
Fine. Someone say my name.
[everyone laughing]
Oh, boy. You landed on 'Do a surgery'.
Now, pick a surgery card.
Huh. "Remove fin bone from player to your left."
What? Wait. No!
But I don't have a fin bone. I'm an octopus.
Hush now. This won't hurt a bit.
Got it.
Now, sit back down, you criminal.
Oh, this game doesn't make any sense.
Oh, sorry, wrong rock.
Patrick, I wonder if you'd help me
by lending me your eyes.
Okay. [grunting]
No, no, no, no, no, you can keep 'em.
I just want you to watch me
while I practice my speech up here.
Just pretend you're a student at his desk.
Okay.
H-Hold on. I like to sit in the back of the class.
[screeching]
Okay, here goes.
Boating safety--
SpongeBob! Can I have a hall pass?!
Oh, not now, Patrick.
Just sit tight and let me practice.
Fine.
[clearing throat] Boating safe--
Boring! Next!
Patrick, you're kind of derailing the proceedings here.
Just focus on me, huh?
Alright, alright.
So, without further ado--
[snoring]
Patrick. [snoring]
Patrick, wake up.
What happened, Patrick?
Oh, come on, SpongeBob,
you think everyone can stay awake
for your boring speech?
I don't know. Do you think that's too much to expect?
Yes and you should be prepared
- for worse. - Worse?
You're going to have things thrown at you
you wouldn't believe.
You gotta be ready! Now, try again.
Okay.
Boating saf--
That's it! [grunting]
Fight through!
[panting]
Patrick! Nobody throws pillows in class!
Says you! Speech!
- Boating saf-- - SpongeBob SquarePants!
What a mess you've made of my classroom!
Ah, you, sort of, had a hand in that too, Patrick.
Young man, how dare you!
What? A detention slip?
I'm not hearing your oral report.
Okay. Boating safety...
[squeaking]
[panting]
Try again.
[panting] Boating... safety--
Come on, SquarePants! Is this the best you can do?
Patrick, somehow I don't think this is working.
Did you get stuck in the pet door again?
I ain't gonna lie to you, Meredith,
I am not a happy camper!
[laughing]
We'll be right back
with "The Giant Isopod Stuck in the Pet Door" show,
after these messages!
Homes, homes, homes, homes, homes!
I'm Nick Fishkins and I wanna buy your home!
What?
You heard me, I wanna buy your home!
But my home's not for sale.
It doesn't matter to me, any condition, any size,
I'll buy your home! Sold!
Sold? Where am I gonna live now?
Welcome to Star Rock Inn, sir.
My name is Todd. Can I check you in?
I don't know. Can you?
Ah, yes. Star, Star, Star. Patrick Star, room 801.
Your key, sir. And please don't hesitate
to let us know if there is anything we can do
to make your stay more comfortable.
[dinging]
May I take your bags, Mr. Star?
I don't have any ba-- Ah.
Follow me, sir. Your room is right this way.
Your room, sir.
[music playing]
Oh, dear.
Something wrong, Mr. Star?
Well, um, honestly, uh, I-I'm not sure I like the way
this room is arranged.
Arranged?
[narrator]
Mr. Star, are you sure about this?
No, I... maybe it's the walls.
[groaning]
[coughing]
I got it.
Let's put the room back the way it was originally!
The pool is one
of the Star Rock Inn's most relaxing features.
Oh, a pool!
[chuckles] Oh!
Where's the diving board?
The diving board? Ooh, oh, ah, one diving board, coming up.
[panting]
Your diving board, sir.
Alright! [laughing]
[grunting]
You okay, sir?
My head is swimming just fine, thank you.
Oh, no!
Lifeguard on duty!
[groaning, screaming]
[whistling]
[groaning]
You okay, sir?
[teeth chattering] So cold.
This calls for CPR, candy peppermint resuscitation.
Sea spider! Sea spider! Sea spider!
[roaring]
[screaming]
[groaning] Oh.
[whimpering]
Ow!
Oh.
Back! Back!
[whimpering]
Oh. [whimpering]
[whimpering]
[groaning, whimpering]
Oh, boy! Here it is! My lost coupon! I found it!
[grunting]
[drumming]
You have fought well today, sea spider,
and now I must leave.
For I am going to use this coupon
to get an ice cream for my bestest friend
in the whole ocean!
Um.
Sponge Knob Hair Pants!
Okay, Patrick, one more book, then you go to sleep, 'kay?
[Patrick] 'Kay.
This one is called "You Can Be Anything."
[blabbering]
I can be anything?
Oh, sure you can, pal.
Take a look. You can be... a firefighter.
[blabbering]
You can be a doctor.
[whimpering]
You can be a cowboy.
That's what I want to be!
Cowboy. Great choice.
No, no, no, no, no! That.
A horse? [chuckles]
Buddy, I don't think you want to be a horse.
You said I can be anything, and- and I wanna be a horse!
Sure, sure, you can be a horse.
Nighty-night, Patrick.
[snoring]
[ringing]
[grunting] Huh?! What?! Huh?!
[groaning]
[screaming]
Uh, what's making that noise?
[whimpering, ringing]
[ringing]
Oh. [chuckles]
It's you again. [chuckles]
Okay, joke's over.
[ringing]
Alright, you got me. Now, cut it out.
[ringing]
That's it!
[grunting]
Stop your ringing, mister. I'm warning you!
Stop it! I said, "Quit it!"
[grunting]
Oh. [ringing]
Then, where's it coming from? [ringing]
Make it stop.
[ringing]
Buddy, you gotta help me find out
where that ringing is coming from.
[ringing]
Hey, come back!
Oh, fine. I'll ask someone who cares.
[ringing]
SpongeBob, where's the ringing coming from?
[ringing]
[grumbling]
Breakfast!
Come to Patrick!
Tartar sauce. I'm out of food again.
All I have are these lousy cans with pictures of food on 'em.
I wanted real food not pictures!
[sloshing]
Oh. The food is in the can.
Okay, come on out.
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, breakfast, get on the plate. Come on.
Nice, comfy plate just for you.
Come on... get on there.
Hello? Anybody in there?
[dial tone]
No answer.
I'm coming to rescue you! [grunting]
Having a little trouble reaching you.
[cuckooing]
You stupid cans.
[ringing]
Oh.... food.
[sighing]
My favorite time of the day.
Breakfast and a little morning television.
And now, live from Bikini Bottom,
it's "Bikini Bottom Live."
[music playing]
Huh? [ringing]
Oh my gosh. I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!
[panting]
I gotta put on my teeth and brush my pants!
[grunting]
Oh! [meowing]
Gary? Oh! Ah!
[music playing]
Pants.
[music playing]
A clean mouth is a happy mouth.
Done.
[music playing]