Previously on a Very Special Full Frontal Special...
(explosion)
might be some goose down in there, it's gonna take me a while to fix
ugh, I'm gonna have to go stress eat
oh, a sad guy with a flag pin!
he must be an elected Republican.
Hi!
Hi Sam!
(SAM VOICEOVER) This is Jim Christiana, a
Republican who is represented Beaver County Pennsylvania for the last eight
years. Now he's fighting to be reelected, and this year he'll be sharing a ballot with
Donald Trump when he's not working as a bespoke suit model.
in the quadrennial beauty pageant reality show of presidential elections,
how do you remind people of the importance of down ballot candidates?
I think one thing in state government and local government is the bipartisanship
that doesn't typically get talked about. Whether they're education issues, whether
they're health care issues
these are actually all things I've worked with very liberal democrats on to
solve our problems
so they can talk about whatever they want in Washington,
about building a wall or how they're going to solve the immigration policy
my great-grandparents they were immigrants, and so for me I'm worried about how we
treat
immigrants in Beaver County in my district
You seem so
reasonable. What's going on?
(SAM VOICEOVER) and Christina plans to keep clinging to his
modesty of bipartisanship
no matter what racist battleship comes along
Take the temperature in Pennsylvania for me right now
Oh your eyes got wide-- you went like this
the temperature is off the charts and
it's not enthusiasm
it's toxic. I think people seem to be polarized to the, to the extreme on every
single issue. Having someone that's an outsider for office is attractive to, to
this region. And they want somebody to overturn the apple cart, and they don't
really care about cleaning it up. Right?
do people in your district know that it's also important to have someone who
can glue things back together after they shake it up and fucking break everything?
I think that's why after elections people sometimes are disappointed but he
is going to be the nominee for the Republican Party
is that hard for you to even say his name?
Well, it's Donald Trump is gonna be-- I said it -- Donald Trump is going to be
the nominee for, the Republican nominee for president
can you look a little less sad when you say his name?
Donald Trump
Just a little more genuine
Donald Trump
Just one more time but like ,with a smile at the end, like a big smile
Donald Trump
is the Republican nominee for president
and then just a little wooo
all right, that's enough
(SAM VOICEOVER) Cristiana, you're a dying breed
what is going to happen to you and your innocent district
Donald Trump is going to probably do well in this region because this region
has become completely and utterly frustrated with Washington and I think
we should respect those voters.
So, we're stuck with this shit sandwich, let's eat it
I think that's a fair way to characterize what I just said
(laughter)
Thanks for coming to Beaver County
Thank you!
(SAM VOICEOVER) oh, that poor bastard
ok everybody on the bus, we gotta get to Cleveland (ASHLEY) we're not getting back on the Mystery Machine, Daphne
What are you talking about? (ASHLEY) you coulda bought us plane tickets, instead you made
us spend two days in a death trap
that smells like Lance Armstrong's bike seat and you brought Pat.
you know we all hate Pat.
guys, we're a team
when the going gets tough we stick together, we're like one big family! (SCREAMING)
(SAM VOICEOVER) That state rep was right.
the toxicity has even affected our happy bus!
on the level of shoulder shrug
to great big sigh, how excited are you for Hillary?
Pretty excited.
So how have you voted in the past?
Have you traditionally been
a Democratic voter?
I've been a Democratic voter, I'm a registered Republican
What?
if you're registered Republican you can vote in the primaries Republican, then vote for whomever you want to in the general election
voter fraud is real
there are more colors in America than the fall in Pennsylvania
but look at the exclusive clubs, you have to pay for a membership when they don't
want certain people in their clubs
like the Augusta National Golf Course
Right.
you want to keep the riffraff out --Right.
no ping pong balls, golf balls only
by ping pong balls do you mean, do you mean black people?
They're white,
by the way. I haven't seen any black ping pong balls.
(SAM VOICEOVER) Ping pong balls... ping pong...
I need you to listen to me very carefully
I'm going to speak to you now the way the Samantha Bee I have seen on
television would speak to you.
Oh, oh, I don't need any speech--
The Samantha Bee I know eviscerates. She slays, she destroys, she
murders
she doesn't cower. she doesn't ask for the power, she takes the power
you're really good at giving speeches --yes I am
excuse me
Nailed it.
all right, cut
hey, you bunch of walking anxiety disorders
if you're not back on this piece of shit bus within 3 seconds, you're all
fucking fired
Hey, did you guys know that Bill Cosby was born in Pennsylvania? Guys?
Hey. Hey! Hey!