-You're going on your first stand-up tour in a while.
-Yeah. -This is exciting.
I'd love to see you do the stand-up.
I know they've been sold out. You just added some more dates.
You can go to nickkroll.com.
You can get tickets to go see the very funny Nick Kroll.
But this is called the Middle-Aged Boy Tour.
-Yes. -That's a great name.
-It is. I mean, it's --
I find myself at this point in life
sort of hovering between being a man and still feeling
like a kid in a lot of ways.
Like, I was with my sister
and my niece, who just turned 9 yesterday.
Happy birthday, Nina.
And, um -- [ Cheers and applause ]
And she was like, "Uncle Nick, how old are you?"
And I was like, "I'm, uh, 41."
And she goes, "Really?"
And I was, like, "Oh, you think I look pretty good for my age?"
She's, like, "Nah, nah, nah, that's not it."
And my sister's like, "Well, what do you mean?"
And she goes, "Well, Uncle Nick lives a child's life."
And I was like, "No, I don't!"
[ Laughter ]
-"Stop saying that!"
-"Stop saying that! I don't live a child' life!"
-"Don't chase me. Don't chase me."
-"No, I don't wanna! I don't wanna take a bath!"
But she's not wrong.
Like, you know, like, we're -- I don't know.
It's like we're adults, but we all --
We, like, do silly voices.
We're kind of, you know -- Our jobs are kind of weird.
And so -- And I do a lot of, like, crazy --
Like, I do, like, animally voices for my niece and nephews.
But I feel like when -- I feel like --
I don't know if you found this with your kids.
They teach kids now, like, "What noise does a dog make?"
It's like, "Bark, bark."
And I'm like, "I've never met a dog that barks."
It's always like -- [ Making dog noises ]
So it's just weird. Or, like, a sheep.
They're like, "What noise does sheep make?"
It's like, "Baa." -"Baa."
-No, every sheep I've met --
And I've met millions. I'm not trying to brag.
But every sheep I've ever met, it's not like "Baa."
It's like -- [ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
It's like Akon having a panic attack.
[ Laughter ] -Akon.
-Yeah, or you go to another country -- Like, you know,
you go to Mexico, and they're like, "What noise does a dog make?"
They have their own version of the noises.
They're like -- Mexico. "What noise does a dog make?"
They're like, "¿Un perrito? ¿En Mexico?
¿Un perro? Es como... iQuiquiriqui! Quiquiriqui!"
[ Laughter ]
I went -- I went to France, Jimmy.
-Oh, my goodness. -And, uh --
And I was like, "What noise does a dolphin make?"
They're, like, "Uh, duh, uh. Ugh...
Dolphin? Uh, dolphin? Uh...
The noise of the dolphin is..."
[ Babbling ]
-Oh, my goodness, no.
-I was like, "That's not the noise of a dolphin."
-Oh, no. -"That's the noise of a cat."
And he's like, "Tsk, tsk.
The noise of the cat is cunning silence."
[ Laughter ]
-I want to show a clip of Nick performing on tour.
Here's a clip of Nick Kroll.
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.
-We have no shorter fuse with anyone in our lives
than we do with our mothers.
I could be on the -- Like, I could meet David Duke.
You know, like, the grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan
and be more patient with him than I would my own mother.
[ Laughter ]
I'd be like, "Oh, uh-huh.
And you don't wear the hoods anymore? You're just...?
You're a nonprofit. Wow. I did not know that."
[ Laughter ]
Meanwhile, my mom could be, like,
"I clipped an article for you
about the L.A. art deco movement."
And I'd be like, "Why would you do that, Mom?!
[ Laughter ]
You know art deco
is my least favorite architectural movement!"
[ Laughter ] -Nick Kroll, everybody!