- Hey, what's up.
It's me, Jessica J.
And I was just wondering if you've ever sat
and thought to yourself,
uh, how do I approach women,
but then get them interested in me.
Well, so I'm glad you asked
because that's what I'm gonna go over today.
I actually did this topic,
it was one of my very first videos,
about like 4 years ago
before I even seriously started doing YouTube
and it gets so much traffic and it's extremely embarrassing
because it's an awful video, please don't watch it.
So I'm redoing it for you here today
because it's still seems like it's a thing
that y'all are interested in.
Especially nowadays with like the frigging pandemic
and you're not allowed to talk to or touch anybody anyway.
So let's just go over how to do it appropriately.
And to make sure you never miss out
on another opportunity to find out how to appropriately get
and keep the women you want,
or another one of my videos,
don't forget to hit that subscribe button
with the notification bell.
Okay. I'm gonna tell you straight up right now.
There's actually so freaking much I could say
about the science and psychology of approaching.
But because this is a bite sized digestible YouTube video,
I'm not gonna be able to go over everything.
I'm just gonna give you the main gist
of it and how to do it, but for an in-depth guide
on the ladder and how to execute it appropriately,
how to know you're doing it wrong, how to course correct,
if you did approach wrong,
in order to get her still interested in you,
don't forget to check it out
in my Speak To Spark Arousal system
at SpeakToAparkArousal.com.
So here's the thing.
Approaching can be pretty terrifying
because it's actually tied to our survival instincts.
Back in the caveman days, we had to be accepted
by the other cave people we approached in order to survive.
Because if they left us out high and dry, guess what?
That T-Rex is coming to chomp, chomp on our heads.
And it is in our biological fear
of rejection, where approaching can feel so daunting.
I don't know about you, but I hear
from a lot of guys about how, like, you know,
every time I see a hot girl
I want to approach, I don't know,
I just can't talk anymore.
I can't move anymore.
Everything just like goes to shit.
Well, guess what?
That is your fight, flight,
or freeze response telling you, ah, this is dangerous.
This is a threat.
Granted, the woman might not feel like a threat
but it's a perceived threat
in that your brain already knows how important it is
for you to be accepted, to not get eaten by the T-Rex.
So for the sake of time and this video,
the easiest way to get an approach down
and to feel confident about approaching a girl,
and again, in that confidence,
in you feeling that confidence in approaching her,
she's going to feel confident about you.
Remember energy and emotions are always contagious.
So instead of making it about, oh my god,
I hope she accepts me so I don't get eaten alive.
You got to make it about her proving herself
to you to be part of your caveman crew.
So to speak.
This means turning the tables on her.
This means making it about her trusting you.
It means making it
about you two human beings coming together
for survival, as opposed to,
can I be a part of your caveman clan.
And how do you make that happen?
Well, it's this thing I always talk about
which is called the PRS + HAY.
Say it out loud with me right now so you remember.
PRS + HAY.
Again, two human beings connecting
as opposed to men must get woman, might not get women, ah.
So I'm gonna break down what PRS is.
PRS means Personal Relevant Statement.
HAY means How About You?
So when I say personal, I mean anything pertaining
to your particular thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
It's what establishes you as,
hi me caveman, me come in peace.
That's the thing
that establishes trust immediately without thought
is when we see somebody we can relate to.
Our human experience is the number one thing
we all have in common.
I have it in common with you.
You have it in common with my mom.
My mom has it in common with your chiropractor.
Now relevant means right here, right now.
And the right here, right now is the one thing you
and I immediately share, no matter what.
It's this moment right here.
Something I always hear from guys is like,
Ah, I don't know what to talk about.
What do I say like, ah.
Guess what? You're both human beings
and you're both sharing this moment right here,
right now together.
That is more than enough.
So the S stands for statement.
We're gonna push that aside.
Now, I'm gonna talk about the, how about you.
While the personal establishes that you are also like her.
You come in peace.
And the relevant means, guess what bitch,
we got a shared life together right now.
The how about you is the part
that flips it on her getting the approval from you.
It invites her to come into your clan
and see whether or not she will make the cut.
That's where you start your filter system
to see whether or not you reject her.
So I'm gonna lay one out right now.
personal relevant statement right now.
I'm actually sitting here in my Christmas flannel
because I got my girlfriend coming over
to put the Christmas tree up with me.
How about you?
How are you spending your day over there?
In me giving my personal relevant statement,
you are forced to think
of those human experiences and relate no matter what.
It's a knee-jerk reaction that all of us human beings do
when we see another human being.
Sometimes we don't see anybody.
Sometimes we see, you know, a mess of people.
We see inconveniences, we see nobody's.
But when you see a human being
that's when you relate instinctively.
So, in me giving my personal relevant statement,
I have now told you that, Hey, I'm a human being.
I come in peace and you're in there,
ah, I got that, Christmas pajamas and Christmas tree
and that's how she's spending her day.
And when I say, how about you?
Now, I'm inviting you into the conversation of my life.
Which is what leading is
and is what you need to do,
in order to get women attracted to you first and foremost.
To position yourself as the leader in this dance.
So now she's all like, oh, he just asked how
about me like going on.
I felt so cute like I really want
to put up my Christmas tree with my Christmas cookies
and shit. You're like so hot. What.
When she engages from your invitation
of the, how about you.
What that does is it causes cognitive dissonance
where when we come up with these knee-jerk responses
or these knee-jerk actions without thinking about whether
or not we want to, what our brain says is,
Oh my God, look we did it without even thinking.
That must mean we really wanted to engage.
That must mean we must really like this person.
So if you're out at the Starbucks
and you say something like,
I never know what to get here,
I just know I like the really colorful drinks,
how about you.
That is a better approach then,
so what are you getting?
Or if you're at the bar and she's dancing
on the sidelines of the dancer and you walk over
and you're like, I want to go out there so bad
but I look like an idiot when I dance, what's your excuse.
That is so much better than coming up
and saying like, hey girl, you look like trouble.
Which is what I got yesterday.
Ah, kill me.
So yeah, that's how you approach a girl
to get her immediately interested in you
because we become interested
in people who are like ourselves,
because our number one interest is ourselves
at the end of the day.
No matter who you are.
But here's the thing approaching and getting her interested,
isn't enough.
How are you gonna hold that interest?
How are you gonna hold that attention
and turn it into attraction and turn it into arousal.
That's where my Speak To Spark Arousal system comes in.
Again, it goes over the step by step
and the psychology of it all so
that you have the tools ready
to get you out there doing this shit right.
So if you haven't jumped on board yet,
again don't forget to check it out
at SpeakToSparkArousal.com.
Don't forget to PRS + HAY.
Thanks for watching as always.
And I'll see you guys next time.