Guys, no, I'm not gonna do a Borat impression, okay?
That movie didn't even have a single Kazakh person in it.
They filmed the Kazakhstan part in a Gypsy village in Romania, and Sacha Baron Cohen was speaking Hebrew half the time.
It did however boost their tourism by like tenfolds, so there's that.
Hey everyone, I'm your host Barbs. Today we cover our first Central Asian country.
Uhhhh, well I mean doesn't Afghanistan kinda count?
*mocking* oH weLl doESn'T afGHanIStaN kINdA coUNt? Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Kazakhstan is cool because it's like the country that melts both Europe and East Asia together in a very unique way.
You can even kind of tell just by looking at the people. It's like they look kind of Asian,
but then you're not sure because some of them have like white Caucasian features.
I feel you Kazakhstan. I've been getting that my whole life, and how did it all happen?
Well, it's partially to do with the location that they live in which brings us to...
Now Turkey may be the bridge between Europe and Asia if you consider the Middle East Asia,
but Kazakhstan is like the bridge between Europe and East Asia.
First of all, Kazakhstan is located in Central Asia, surrounded by five other countries.
SO CLOSE to Mongolia, but a twenty mile wide corridor separates them,
with a coast on the northeast sides of the Caspian Sea, where their only seaport, Aktau, is located.
It is the world's largest landlocked country, ninth largest in the world at nearly 1 million square kilometers.
Like seriously, the country's distance is like the same from London to Istanbul. Speaking of which, the longest road in Europe,
the E-40 extends over 5,300 miles all the way from Calais, France, to Ridder, Kazakhstan.
Russia: "Hehe, cute."
The country is divided into 14 regions, or Oblistar,
with the capital Astana located in the Akmola region.
Nonetheless, Almaty in the south is actually the largest city with Shymkent rounding out number three.
And all three of these cities have the busiest airports in Kazakhstan.
Now Kazakhstan was part of the former USSR prior to independence, so you see kind of like
leftover disputes when it comes to territorial anomalies. Basically it kind of went like this:
Gorbachev: "Hello, I'm Gorbachev, and all you Republics are relinquished from the USSR,
which is not the USSR anymore, but just plain Russia. Oh, and it's the year 1990."
The Stans: "Okay, but we have like mixed up communities,
so where do we draw the borders?
Gorbachev: "You wanted this, you figure it out."
Hehe, the Kyrgyzstan episode is gonna be so fun, I promise.
In the Caspian Sea, Kazakhstan has a little dispute with Russia over the marshy Ukatnyy Island,
as well as the Zhestky and the Malyy Zhemchuzhnyy sandbanks,
known for being located above an offshore oil producing zone.
Then we have that little dispute with Uzbekistan over the Vozrozhdeniya island,
which is now a peninsula due to the drying up of the Aral Sea.
The only other strange territorial anomaly would probably be the famous
Baikonur Cosmodrome, this is the site where the first launch of the first satellite,
Sputnik, and the first manned orbital flight by Yuri Gagarin happened.
This place is leased to Russia until 2050 and today you will need a Russian visa
if you want to visit unless you're lucky enough to score a guided tour.
Yeah, 1991 the Russians were like:
Russia: "Alright, Kazakhstan, you are your own country now. No more USSR. You're free."
Kazakhstan: "Wow! I get my own space, the Caspian Sea, the mines, the mineral fields, the grassland..."
"Oh look a space station." Russia: "Adadadadah! That's still mine, That's still mine!"
Kazakhstan: "Ok, fine. But remember, you do owe me from all that nuclear testing you were doing on the east side."
"Now, it's like the most radioactive thing on the planet." Semipalatinsk. Look it up!
I mean when they built it, they didn't realize Kazakhstan would eventually secede,
so, yeah.
Nonetheless, there are over 27,000 ancient monuments throughout Kazakhstan.
Places of interest might include things like:
The Monument of Independence,
The Pyramid of Peace and Harmony,
The Issyk burial mound with the "Golden man",
The Soyuz 11 Memorial,
Khan Shatyr, the tallest tent in the world,
Bayterek Tower,
Medeu, the world's largest skating rink,
Ascension Cathedral,
Arystan Bab Mausoleum,
The National Museum of Kazakhstan,
Museum of Folk music,
Fountain Circus,
Kok-tobe hill recreational center with rides and attractions and a Beatles Monument,
Nur Astana Mosque,
and the Triumphal Arch of Mangikik El.
But just don't go to Semipalatinsk,
it's like worse than Chernobyl. Yeah, that was a hard blow to their land,
which is otherwise pretty majestic, which brings us to...
Kazakhstan the landscape is kind of like an alternate universe Twilight Zone version of Mongolia.
It's like kinda similar, but there's something a little off.
First of all, the country is generally flat with massive steppes
and plains like the Caspian Depression, the Turgay Valley, and the Kazakh uplands,
which compose the majority of the country's land makeup.
In the east and southeast, you get the mountains along the Altai and Tian Shan ranges,
the highest mountain being Khan Tengri,
which again is like the Roraima of Central Asia as acts as a tri-point border between them,
China and Kyrgyzstan, I don't know why China even bothered with it though.
It's like come on you already have like half of Mount Everest, why take parts of other country's tallest peaks?
I know, right?
Otherwise numerous rivers cross the country, the longest one being the Irtysh River,
which flows through the northeast shared with Russia and China (dangerously close to the radioactive fallout from Semipalatinsk)
However, the Ishim River is more important as it passes through the capital, Astana.
Then you get the strange largest lake, Balkhash, because of the western half of it is fresh water and the east
is saltwater. Strange, huh?
And that's not even half of the strange.
Then you have things like the Valley of Balls
*chuckles* Valley
With strain spherical eroded boulders averaging around 3 to 4 meters wide.
You have this strange submerged forest
Tamgaly Gorge
Chardin Canyon
And the most notable natural landmark, the drying Aral Sea. It was made by diverting water in the former Soviet times.
And now you can see a strange post-apocalyptic setting with rusting abandoned ships and sea vessels
in a dry grassland as Bactrian camels graze quietly in the distance.
By the way, if you're a part of an alternative rock band,
this is like the perfect place to make a location shoot for an album cover.
Anyway!
Kazakhstan is loaded with natural resources.
About 100 of the elements on the periodic table can be found mined in Kazakhstan.
They take 12th place in oil reserves and they are in the top 20 of gas reserves,
most of which center around the 970 square mile Tengiz oil field,
which is one of the largest in the world making it the country's largest export: oil.
Which in return makes them the largest economy in Central Asia as they hold about 60% of the entire region's GDP.
Wildlife is actually quite prevalent. You have:
Voles
Grey herons
Bats
Pygmy Cormorants
Wolves
Foxes
Stoats
Marbled Polecats
Saiga Antelopes
And the two national animals: the Snow Leopard and the Golden Steppe Eagle
However the horse is probably the most important animal.
It's been said that the horse was probably first tamed and domesticated in Kazakhstan.
Ukraine & Russia: "Yeah, debatable"
The horse also plays into food.
There's a joke that Kazakhs are the second largest meat eaters in the world; the first being wolves.
Greenland: "Ha! Challenge accepted."
The national dish being "beshbarmak", literally translated as five fingers because you're supposed to eat it with your hands.
It's noodles with horse meat on top. Yes, they eat horse
However, the rule is you do not eat the horse you ride.
Mongolia: "Stop copying me!"
It's also said that apples originated in Kazakhstan.
The name of the city, Almaty, actually translates to "the place of many apples".
You can even find many wild apple trees in forests all across Kazakhstan.
Otherwise Kazakhstan does pretty well at staying afloat
I mean they became the first former Soviet nation to receive a positive global investment ranking in 2002.
They paid off all their debt to the IMF.
Nonetheless all that forward-moving does come with a little bit of backstory and a tincture of controversy, which brings us to...
Now, I personally love meeting ethnic Kazakh people because I feel like they can totally pass as my siblings that were separated from me from birth.
It's weird. They've got just that beautiful mixture of Asia and Europe.
First of all, country has about 18.1 million people and has about 6 people per square kilometer
The country is about 67% ethnically Kazakh, whereas about 20% are Russians, and the rest are made up of other groups,
mostly Turkic people like Uzbeks, Uyghurs, and other groups like Chechens, Ukrainians, Tartars, and Poles.
They use the Kazakhstani Tenge as their currency, they use the Type-C plug outlet, and they drive on the right side of the road.
Now let's top off the largest indigenous people group.
What exactly is a Kazakh?
Well today that question is a lot harder to answer them what it may have been a thousand years ago.
In the shortest way, Kazakhs are classified as a Turkic people group, not Turkish, Turkic.
There's a difference.
In which, they share the same linguistic structure as many other countries and people groups across Asia and Europe.
I found this video hosted by Aissulu from the channel Guiloteam, which they do a great job explaining.
Check it out.
Awesome video, right?
This creates a whole new unique kind of populace that looks like an entire nation of biracials.
Kind of like what happened with Brazil with the Pardo people.
Nonetheless, most of Kazakhstan is kind of actually at a cultural crossroad.
More people speak Russian than the actual native Kazakh language.
Yep, I feel you
Nonetheless the President, Nursultan Nazarbayev, who has been there only president since independence
and has a little bit of controversy like when he held a snap election in 2015 after being accused of human rights violations
just announced that in the next few years,
Kazakhstan will be switching over from using the Cyrillic alphabet to the Latin one.
Some saying this being a subtle move to Kazakh-ify their country.
Keith: "Wait what did you say about their president"
Barby: "Eh, and just look it up with a lot of time."
As a Turkic country, Kazakhs are related to and can kind of understand the speech of their other Turkic neighbors
that extend as far as the frozen Arctic Tundras of North East Russia to the Black Sea with Turkey
and the Gagauz people in that strange autonomous unit in Moldova.
Moldova is gonna be a fun episode, trust me.
It's like a place where people don't care if everything is burning to the ground. They just dance through it.
Anyway, obviously we'd a lot of time to get into the full history of Kazakhstan,
but in the quickest way I can put it:
Scythians
Turkic-speaking Mongol tribes arrive
Huns invade
Arabic Kara-Khanid Turks come in and introduce Islam
Tribal powers fight for control
Khitans invade
Timur-i-Leng builds empire. Kazakhs break away from the Uzbek khanate
Dzungar people invade
Russians come in and help
Then the Russians kind of take over and rule them
Khan Kene revolts against Russians unsuccessfully
Tons of new Russians and Ukrainians flock in to work
Kazakhs resist military draft in World War I
They become an autonomous republic in the USSR
Russian influence for decades
Independence in 1991. The capital was moved.
Tons of new Kazakhs migrated back to Kazakhstan and ethnic Russians move out,
making Kazakhs a majority in their own country again.
Nazarbayev becomes their only president
A bunch of oil gas pipeline controversy, and here we are today.
Now when it comes to culture, Kazakhstan is quite unique.
For one, the majority at around 64% identify at least nominally as Muslim.
However, in 1990, President Nazarbayev actually created a separate muftiate for the Kazakh Muslims.
He forbade religious political parties and removed Kazakhstan from the authority of the Muslim Board of Central Asia.
This decreed Kazakhstan as a secular state, even though the government kind of put strict control on all religious communities.
This makes Kazakhstan the only Central Asian country whose constitution does not assign special status to Islam.
And apart from certain areas with mosques, you wouldn't even really notice it too much,
especially in the booming cities.
This is because Kazakhstan's culture is way more Turkic and Mongol derived than stereotypical Middle East Arab Muslim derived.
There are people of wanderers, nomads, some people even still living yurts in the countryside.
Mongolia:"Oh geez! Really, again!"
During celebrations, you can see people wearing traditional costumes, playing traditional steppe folk music.
By the way, they celebrate three different New Years: Gregorian, Nauryz Spring Equinox, and the Julian calendar.
They have so many horse related festivals and games like pick up the napkin and steal the woman on a horse
and if you can't she gets to beat you with a whip game.
Aside from all that, Kazakhs are known for excelling in sports like weightlifting, cycling, and ice hockey.
Some notable people from Kazakhstan might include people like:
Cyclist Alexandre Vinokourov
Sabrina Atynbekova
Timur Bekambetov
Gennady Golovkin
Denis Ten
Abay Qunabayuli
Ken Alibek
Albai Khan
Olzha Suleimenov
Marat Kabayev
Shoukhrat Mitalipov
At least those are the people you guys, the Kazakh geograpeeps, mentioned to me.
I literally have no idea who most of those people are.
So basically with Kazakhstan, you get this strange land of East Asian-European mixed
kind of nominally Muslim people that speak Russian that love to ride and eat horses
It sounds like people are hang with let's find out who else thinks the same in...
Kazakhstan is like the kingpin big brother of Central Asia
If you want to talk to any of the other former Soviet republics, you usually got to start here first.
Now, they generally get along with other Turkic and Russian-speaking countries, however Central Asia is kind of like the Balkans,
which it's like a family with a bit of disfunction.
Turkmenistan is like the angry brother that isolates himself and Uzbekistan is like the angry brother that argues with all the other brothers.
Kyrgyzstan is like the little brother that they love, but they keep asking them for money.
Tajikistan is like the distant cousin that speaks a Persian-based language.
Turkey, Mongolia, and South Korea are like far away distant close friends that share the same Turkic and Mongoloid history and culture as well.
They've established great trade deals. Tons of Koreans seem to love moving to Kazakhstan.
The US was the first place to recognize them as a state after independence and they've been jumping in on investments.
But when it comes to their best friends, most Kazakh people I've talked to have said Russia.
Although certain seasons of controversy have existed, overall Russia has not only been closed in customs unions; they and Belarus share free trade agreement.
But in almost every other level of diplomacy, they get along well.
They both speak Russian, they both love Russian TV shows
And even though Kazakhstan is trying to wean itself off the Russian influence to research a more Kazakh identity
They can't help but cling on to certain aspects that were so deeply ingrained in their history from the Russians.
In conclusion, Kazakhstan is a country that is full of East Asian mix, horse-loving, Muslim majority identifying,
Russian-speaking, government controversifying, but moving forward with resource-extracting country.
That was a fun episode.
Kazakh-can-stand all the wonderful info we just learned, can't you?
That was so horrible. I think that's the worst pun I've ever made in this entire series.
Stay tuned, Kenya is coming up next!