The mutant known as Jean Grey was born with exceptional powers, more so than your average
mutant.
Her superpowers of telepathy and telekinesis became known to her during an accident when
her best buddy died, and it’s after that when she made the acquaintance of the one
and only Charles Xavier, aka, Professor X.
The thing was, her powers were too strong for a kid, so Charles did the right thing
and blocked them.
To cut a long story short, this mutant, then called Marvel Girl, got her powers back, died,
came back to life and so was aptly name Phoenix.
She then got a taste of the dark side and it was devilishly good.
That’s when her altruism turned into destruction.
Hello and welcome to another episode of The infographic show’s you versus, today we’re
pitting you the average joe up against Dark Phoenix.
Some say Dark Phoenix is the most powerful mutant belonging to the X-Men, so powerful
she’s capable of unleashing hell on mankind.
She has been stopped, though, and died more than once on her journey through comic book
fiction, so that bodes well for you.
Right, let’s have a look at her strengths.
You see, she doesn’t just have the power of telekinesis, she’s damn good at it, some
say as good as the professor himself.
While that is questionable, she’s a force to be reckoned with.
For those of you that don’t know what telekinesis is, it’s the ability to move things with
your mind.
Yep, that means drop things on your head or just fire objects at you, which is pretty
hard to defend against.
According to her fandom sites she can move things that weigh thousands of tons.
Hmm, how many thousands we don’t know.
According to the Empire State building fact sheet it weighs approximately 365,000 tons.
Ok, maybe she can’t move that.
Let’s be conservative and say she can move 20,000 tons.
Well, we are told an average trailer home weighs around 4–5 tons, so she could rain
those things down on you.
A big elephant might weight 5 tons, too, so she could fire elephants at you as easy as
spitting seeds from her mouth.
This is a problem, given that it’s likely when you meet her you’ll be surrounded by
heavy objects: houses, cars, boulders, walls, hot dogs stands, and whatever else.
According to Live Strong, the average untrained but reasonably fit man can deadlift about
155 pounds.
It’s likely that the same untrained man couldn’t even throw a house cat very far,
so of course you are no match for Dark Phoenix in the throwing stuff league.
You’ll just have to figure out how to not let her drop things on you and squish you
like a mosquito.
But she has more than elephant-throwing in her arsenal.
She is telepathic, too.
This is what Marvel says about that power.
“Jean Grey can detect and read the thoughts of others, project her own thoughts into other's
minds, form psychic links with other beings, control others' minds so as to manipulate
their physical functions, mentally stun opponents with bolts of pure psionic force, cast near-flawless
mental illusions.”
The good news is, she can only fully take over one person’s mind and she has to see
that person.
She can manipulate other minds, but to gain full control she needs to actually see you
near to her.
The problem for you is, how do you attack her if you have to always stay out of her
line of sight.
You now know to stop her dropping a house on your head, and to stop her making you eat
your own fingers, you will need stealth.
If she sees you, you are dead.
Or as we said, she can just play with you, perhaps getting you to strip naked and run
through the streets shouting “I love Dark Phoenix” until you drop dead from exhaustion.
Ok, so you have to hide.
But when we say Dark Phoenix is nimble and can move pretty fast, we are perhaps understating
the fact.
She can actually move at supersonic speeds and can quite easily go for a trip around
the universe.
She can also travel through hyperspace using her special Phoenix Force Powers.
If you are very fast, super-fast, you can run a mile in four minutes.
That means while she has travelled to another galaxy, killed off a couple of species, had
a coffee, taken a nap, and come back to Earth, you have probably sweated out your first half
mile.
While she does have something called Psychic Energy Synthesis, that just means she can
use her mind to create powerful blasts.
We are not sure, though, if she has the power to know an unknown enemy is lurking some place.
It seems she doesn’t have the power of omnipresence, in that she doesn’t know what is going on
around her at all times.
She’s not a God, she’s just a very scary and often violent girl.
She does, however, have Thought Reading capabilities, so just make sure when you are around her
you are thinking about anything but her.
If she gets a sniff of your plan to attack, you’re dead.
And as you well know, trying not to think about something is really, really hard, especially
when you have to plan an attack.
We suggest you listen to very loud music and maybe just keep saying “cheese” over and
over again.
She does have a weakness for men.
She has fallen in love with Wolverine before, and that ended with Jean asking him to kill
her before she could do any more damage in the world.
The problem for you is, he tried that, stabbing her many times, and she just came back to
life.
Let’s just say that even if you did manage to persuade her to fall for you as a cunning
ruse, once you plunged in the knife, she would probably just annihilate you.
This is beginning to look like a very hard fight, but don’t despair just yet.
There is help out there telling you how to beat this girl, but the problem is you’d
have to be kind of super to do it, and you’re not, you’re just someone watching this video.
For instance, we are informed if you could get hold of the Infinity Gauntlet you’d
be well on your way to handing Ms. Phoenix a beating.
The problem is, you don’t generally find such things lying around.
You can’t summon the all-powerful Odin, nor can you get your hands on a Miracle Machine.
Sure, if you could get on the phone to Thor and Xavier and tell them you need a small
favor, you might have a chance, but we are guessing you are not friends on Facebook with
those guys.
We believe your only chance is to get her in the heart, make her fall in love with you,
and try where Wolverine failed.
We are told that her one and only major weakness is just that, the fact that she can lose her
powers when emotionally overwhelmed.
And hey, you are such a catch you are the right guy, or gal, to make her go weak at
the knees, literally.
She has what’s called “Dissociative Identity Disorder”, meaning you might be able to
get her out of her evil superpower mode.
It’s a long shot, been done before, didn’t work, but it’s all you’ve got.
Make her human, maybe give her kiss on the cheek, and then quickly chop off her head
with the sword you’ve got stashed close by.
It probably won’t work, and before you can get a good grip on your newly sharpened hunk
of steel, four houses and 30 elephants have fallen on your head.
Maybe also a couple of cats for good measure.
Or do you disagree?
How would you beat this lady?
Tell us in the comments.
Also, be sure to check out our other video YOU vs Thanos - How Would you defeat him?!.
Thanks for watching, and as always, don’t forget to like, share and subscribe.
See you next time.