There is a seagull
floating on the water in tranquility.
Its munching on a dead fish.
Ohhh, the beluga whale tackles it.
The seagull is like
“what the hell is that all about, mate?
Oi. What are you doing?
Don’t pretend to eat me.
You’re a lot bigger than me,
you have a responsibility.
This is a shit prank.
It's scary.
Seriously, piss off.
Where’s my fish?
Why did you de-fish me?
Don’t touch my legs!
You can see how fragile they are,
they’re skinnier than fucken chicken legs.
OK I’m going.
It looks like my dead fish has sunk.”
The beluga whale yells “aw don’t go.
I just want someone to play with.”
The other seagull flies off,
because it's smart.
“Mate, I’m not in the mood for games.
Why don’t ya find
another water-based creature
to play with?
Like a Seahorse
or stupid arse jellyfish
—NOT THE LEGS!
Don't touch them.
I told you how sensitive they are!
That includes the feet.
If the webbing tears
I’ll be in a lot of pain.
It’s worse than a human male
snapping his banjo string.
Seriously, you’re an annoying bastard.
You truly are.
OK, that was too much.
I was like half in your mouth.
I don't wanna play with you. OK?
Do you not understand
the anxiety you're causing?
Ohhh yes!
There’s my fish.
There’s my dead fish.”
The seagull gracefully glides
towards its fucken nasty lunch.
It has a couple of bites but
keeps getting distracted
by the dopey wanker below.
It is hard to tell
what the beluga whale wants.
It’s got a brilliant poker face,
I guess cause it has no face,
just a couple of beady eyeballs
and a constant smile.
Even if a human has beady eyeballs
and a constant smile,
they’re tricky to trust.
Oh here we go.
Munchy, munchy, munch...
a few more bites.
“Mate, no, no, no, no not the legs,
NOT MA LEGS,
why don’t you have my fish?
You can have my dead fish
if you leave me alone.
Is that a deal?
DEAL? yes? deal?
yes?”
The beluga whale has a sniff of the fish
and decides to suck on its tail.
“Ehhhh, I dunno,
I reckon it’s past its used by date.
It’s been dead for a week.
I prefer my meals to be much, much fresher.”
“Yeah nah, why would you say that?
Why are ya telling me
you prefer fresh meals?”
“No reason, you’re very paranoid.”
“Yeah, well, my trust no one mantra
has gotten me far
in the animal kingdom.
Ok, ya fuck-knuckle the fish is yours.”
“Nah, nah, nah, yeah nah, yeah nah nah yeah
I don’t want the fish.
I don't want it.
I’m only looking for a friend.”
“I don’t do friends.
GET AWAY FROM MA LEGS!
I’m tucking them up.
If I shit on your nose will you go away?”
“Heh hehe he heheh heh heheh!
It’ll take a lot more than that to get rid of me.”
“Oh, fuck!
You are
really
weird.
I don't wanna be mean to you but,
please just leave me alone.”
Yeah so for this whole video
the seagull has forgotten
that it has wings.