(gentle elevator music)
- Hey everybody, happy Thursday.
Now today's video is actually all about eating disorders
and if you don't know,
these videos about eating disorders
aren't really monetize-able
and so if you wanna support the channel,
there are two ways you can do that.
One is through joining my Patreon page.
There are a bunch of different tiers
starting at five dollars, going all the way up
depending on what kind of rewards you want
and also I open YouTube memberships
and a journal prompt club.
Five dollars a month you get a journal prompt on Tuesdays
and on Fridays in the Membership Only tab.
So you check out the links in the description
to check that out, but let's get into this question.
And today's question is: Katie,
is it possible that I could have made up my eating disorder?
Now, I get questions like this each and every day.
Like all the time.
Katie, could I have made up my depression
or maybe I made up my anxiety.
Maybe I'm just faking my panic attacks.
Am I just self-injuring for attention?
Making up my pain?
And this question: could I have made up my eating disorder?
Now, the truth is: yes.
We can do certain things for attention.
We could self injure once hoping that we get caught
or act like we're struggling with some sort
of eating disorder behavior, hoping someone will notice
and want to help us.
And sure, in a way, because our eating disorder
or self injury urges or whatever it is
are coping skills, our brain did technically make them up
as a way to cope, but none of those things
makes our pain, or upset, or mental illness,
any less, or our struggle any less valid.
And I mean, think about it.
When we use our eating disorder,
we're doing that to cope with something else
that's going on.
Usually it's something much more difficult.
Something maybe we can't really talk about yet
or even recognize.
So our eating disorder isn't really what our issue is.
It's just hiding it, numbing it out.
But to really answer this question,
no you didn't make up your eating disorder.
Even just the way the question was phrased,
like could I have, you know,
could I have made it up,
makes it sound like that makes it not valid,
like it didn't really exist.
I just created it out of nowhere.
And I think everyone would agree
that having an eating disorder is the absolute worst.
It makes us feel terrible about ourselves and who we are
and we can't ever be sick enough.
We've talked about this all the time.
It makes us feel so sick and full sometimes
that we just can't think about anything else
and we can even find ourselves competing
with someone else for no prize at all,
unless a prize you know is like,
feeling the worst and hating ourselves the most,
but I don't really think that's a prize, do you?
No one wants to feel bad.
I don't think anybody would dispute that, right?
And even when we're doing it for attention,
which I truthfully hate that phrase,
but I don't really know how else to like mention it,
so I just wanna address this.
So anyways, even if we're doing it for attention,
that's only because we are hurting, so, so badly
and we just want someone to notice.
That need for caring, loving attention from someone
in our lives, is part of being a human.
It's completely normal and we shouldn't be shamed
for reaching out for support or showing our pain in some way
because we may not even have the words to tell someone
that we need their support or guidance, right?
We may not even know what's really going on
or even why we're doing it,
but that doesn't make it any less valid
or any less deserving of care and attention.
No one wants to hurt.
No on wants to feel alone or be stigmatized.
So if you're out there and you're wondering, you know,
if you could have made up your eating disorder
or your self injury urges or your depression,
you anxiety, your OCD, or whatever you struggle with,
you didn't.
You are hurting and or your brain just works
a bit differently than other peoples
and you're doing your best.
You're trying to build up your resources as best you can
and that's a wonderful thing.
There shouldn't be any shame in that.
And also, if you know someone who's struggling
and maybe you've thought that they could be
making this up, I hope this helps you
to see it in a different and maybe more constructive way.
Maybe check in on that friend or family member.
See how they're doing and offer support where you can.
We're all just doing our best.
And trying to reach out with the tools that we have
and just consider for a moment that most of us
didn't grow up with parents who taught us anything healthy.
Maybe our parents just shouted at each other,
even when they weren't fighting.
Or no one ever talked about anything.
We just pretend everything's okay.
Maybe we grew up in that type of family.
Or maybe there was addiction in our household
or, you know, one parent's cheating on another
or maybe we didn't have any parents that were around.
Maybe we were completely neglected.
So we're just using the tools that we know
and we may not even have any helpful tools.
We might not know how to communicate,
we might not think it's safe to tell someone
that we're hurting, right?
I've talked about that a lot
that like sometimes reaching out isn't,
doesn't feel safe because in the past
when we've reached out, it could have been abused
or hurt in some other ways
or completely neglected and ignored.
And so just recognize that that's the role
and the reason that our eating disorder,
or whatever we struggle with, is like a coping skill.
That's the only way we know how to deal
with what we're feeling.
So just have a little bit of compassion
and understanding for yourself and for those around you.
We're all just trying our best.
And I would love to hear your thoughts.
I hope you kind of got, you understood why I was coming
at it from this angle.
I wanted to think about this in a different way
and kind of talk about why we could feel
like we maybe made up some of our mental illnesses,
because we haven't, but I could see why we could think that
and feel that way.
But let me know all your thoughts or other things
that you have about this topic as a whole
or if you want me to talk about it more,
leave it in those comments down below
and I will see you next time, bye.
(gentle elevator music)