let me tell you something loving yourself is intimidating
because many of us haven't been taught how to do it we actually are not
proficient in self-love like we don't know how to love ourselves
that's why we place so much demand for other people to do it for us
hi guys welcome to my channel my name is rutendo melody kanguru
and i am the author of a book called hosting heaven
learning to hear the voice of God for your life and i also happen to
be the person that kind of creates content on this channel
so i'm hoping that you are gonna subscribe and you're going to become a
part of the community um we do affirmations, guided meditations
(that are biblically based) um and prayers and we do bible
studies as well we're going to be doing a lot more bible studies
and i really just have been on this personal journey
of self-love for the past couple of years and i just want to
share that journey with you and i try to share that journey with
a few videos on this channel a few of those videos are also going to be in the
description box below if you want to follow
that journey with me i wanted to share something that
really really was such a powerful tool for me
i'm on my journey which has become somewhat of a culture
in my own personal self-love journey i feel like i'm saying
self-love journey quite a lot very well it is a soft love journey video so
so these are journaling prompts that have really just become lifestyle
questions for me that i ask myself every time i want to ascertain if i am
really genuinely taking care of myself one thing that i found out of my
self-love journey is that you cannot outsource self-love in fact you cannot
outsource love there's going to be people that
will come into your life as friends they're going to be people
that come into your life as life partners or a husband or a wife
or just people that you surround yourself with that care about you
but there is never going to be anybody that will show up as consistently
as they should when it comes to love more
than you i'm telling you you are the most reliable person to love yourself
and the only way that you can genuinely and authentically actually
love yourself best is if you are connected to god
who is love himself and so i want to just give you these 10 questions
and i'm hoping that they're going to be useful in your own self-love journey you
can use them on a weekly basis every single sunday evening just ask
yourself have i done a good job at really
nourishing myself so that i can pour out and overflow to other people
so let's quickly get right into these questions the first question i want to
invite you to ask yourself is have i devoted enough time to myself
this week part of self-love is really taking time to yourself taking time to
do things that nourish you things that fulfill you
things that fill you up things that make you happy and joyful so
that when you step into other people's contexts you
are able to actually overflow that abundance from
within you can also ask yourself the question have i stayed
present in my everyday life i'll be honest with you i'm an
accountant and sometimes every day is like month end you
literally are just trying as much as possible to get as
much work done as possible and especially if you're working in a
fast-paced industry or just a fast-paced company
you really realize that sometimes you are just
in the routine but you are not fully present and if you're not careful you
can take that home with you and you can start
making that a normal thing in your relationships and your friendships
even sometimes in your relationships with your parents and the people that
you love the most it's
it's crazy it's crazy how we are so not present sometimes so i want you to
ask yourself have i been present have i genuinely
been present in my everyday life third question i
want you to ask yourself is what do i love about myself
self-loathing is real self-hate is real we can truly genuinely be
so detached from ourselves that we we literally just forget who we are
the beauty of who we are the strength of who we are the power
of who we are the incredible incredibleness
of who we are so if it means taking a piece of paper
writing down at least five things that you love about yourself
on a weekly basis so that you keep in touch
with the knowledge of what makes you special what makes you powerful
what makes you unique what makes you the person you are
do it do it until you know that you know that you know that you are
valuable and that you are needed here fourth question is what makes you unique
what is your skill set your unique skill set what is your unique set of talents
what is your unique anointing set what is it that god has placed over you
and and and and caused you to to be different
from everybody else that you know what what value distinguished value do you
bring into your circle of friends into your workplace into your family
into um your relationship into your marriage into
everything that you're connected to because when you know you
unique skill set it becomes such a powerful tool for you when you enter
into different environments where you need to
distinguish yourself to to rise up or to um to get a promotion
or just to elevate in life so ask yourself
what is that unique thing about me that makes me special
first question is what do i want to be remembered for you know i remember
specifically about three years ago i wrote in my planner i do these things
called beginning of the year goal setting
spiritual goal setting and i remember specifically writing down
in the house of hosting heaven planner but i one of the people that i
want to inspire my life journey is mother teresa
she's one of the most powerful women that has literally ever existed
all her life was service to others and i knew for a fact that i was way far off
from what mother teresa was but i say to myself i'm going to leave a life
that constantly strives to serve to pour out to give to be generous and
kind and continue to just pour out for the benefit of others
like she did now am i anyway close absolutely not but if i
actually started walking towards that direction in my
life purpose and assignment absolutely and i'm so proud of my progress i'm so
proud of where i'm at but i had to have a goal post right and
so i think about a month or so ago i just posted on my facebook page and i
said what would you remember me for what what
is it that would come to your mind when my name is
mentioned and when i went into the comments
section i really realized that a lot of people were
mentioning some of the things that i had written down
as things that i wanted to be remembered for now that speaks to the power of
intentionality intentionally making sure that you are living a life that you are
proud of and a life that you want to be
remembered for so i want to encourage you to really write down the person
that you want to become and make sure that every single day you are
walking towards becoming that person sixth thing that i encourage you to do
is to write a thank you note to yourself at the end of every week sit down it
could be a five sentence letter it could be it could be
a huge page if you really are that thankful um for your own life
but write down things that you want to thank yourself
for it is such a powerful tool to just really acknowledging and appreciating
the efforts that you are putting in your own life
and don't wait for somebody else to come and affirm you
start affirming yourself and quantifying yourself
from within seventh thing that i want you to ask yourself is what does
self-love mean to me i know a lot of bible-believing
christians are very very intimidated by the word
self-love because of the way that certain
scriptures have been taught um and sometimes we we actually are
afraid to start loving ourselves because we
know that we haven't been loving ourselves and it's always very difficult
and intimidating to start a completely new journey
what many people do is that they just decide i don't
want i don't want i don't want this in my life
i'm okay with how i've been treating myself i'm okay
with the way things are i'm just i don't want to learn anything new i don't want
to challenge myself i don't want to ask myself the right
questions that are necessary for me to ascertain if i have been taking good
care of myself i don't want to be accountable to loving
myself because i don't even know if i'm capable of fully actually loving
myself more than others can love me and so they just shut that door
completely but i want to encourage you i want you
to be brave enough to identify and define what
self-love looks like to you it is a tough journey it is a
very difficult journey and i say this before
um and i'll say it again one of the toughest things as a black woman that
i've ever had to do is to really start loving myself first
before i expected that love that appreciation that
celebration and that respect from other people out in the world and
especially people of the other race but a lot of people don't want to take
accountability for that love they don't want to go on that journey
internally and personally so they cannot attract it in their lives
and we wonder why we keep going in circles
when it comes to love it's because we don't love ourselves
so ask yourself what does self-love mean to me
i have a personal definition for self-love my personal definition
encompasses god is the source it makes god the ultimate source of
love and it makes me a channel through which god
is able to touch the world with that love
but because god is pouring out that love in me for me to give it to
others to love my neighbors as i love myself
i have to allow that love to change me too i have to take
part portions of that love and i have to make that love work for me too
because what uses a channel what uses a channel
if it's not well maintained what use is this love if it is being poured out
to your family to your children to your spouse to your
community but it is not making and affecting any
change in you so you really have to start loving
yourself you have no choice but to start taking some of this love
and directing it to yourself too you need it eighth
question i want you to ask yourself is what am i good at
you know there's nothing as powerful as being affirmed in a certain
area of your life or knowing for a fact that you are good at something a lot of
suicide cases are because people don't think they're good for anything
a lot of suicide cases are because people think that they are no longer
needed but when you truly know what you are
good at when you know for a fact that there's
always a place in this world where you can add value
it allows you a step stepping place of confidence
and it helps you to start to really having a very
healthy view of yourself so write down that list and
ask yourself what things am i amazing at what things am i incredible at what are
some of the things that i know that even if i
fail whenever i look in this direction i'm encouraged to keep pursuing and
going because i know that i'm good for
something number nine i want you to ask yourself
what is one of the thoughts persistent thoughts
that you know for a fact that you need to let go of
about yourself you know we have so many habits and so many thoughts about
ourselves that are not enriching us that are not edifying
us and i'm not adding value in our journey in fact they are distracted and
they are really self-defeating thoughts i want you to write those thoughts down
write them down and actively and intentionally start working
at making sure that you break them down replacing them by thoughts of
good thoughts that are empowering because those thoughts it could be one
thought it is that one thought that is really stopping you from some of
the most incredible things that you could do with your life
with your business with your relationships that one thought
has to go what is it write it down finally i want you to sit down and ask
yourself what one thing would your younger self
be proud of today i know for a fact that there's been times um in my journey
where i just felt like you know what i think this is
this life is not really worth work living
um they were really trying and dark seasons in my
own personal journey where i just felt like i was not good
enough or good at anything um and when i look back i think to myself wow
if i had actually given up on myself i wouldn't have
encountered this version of me i wouldn't have been able to just
absolutely enjoy watching myself flourish
in in certain spaces of my life and so sometimes you just need to give yourself
to the process of time you need to allow yourself to evolve and
to grow you need to permit god to actually start
working out the story writing that story um again
especially in times when you've just been through something incredibly
difficult that's when you are most discouraged i'm
hoping that those 10 questions are going to really
really help you connect with yourself so that you can truly stand in your
power the power that god is giving you to go
out there and fulfill your god-given assignment but most importantly that
they can really help you discover yourself
so that you can be the best version of yourself in your relationships in your
community in your business in your career and in
any thing that surrounds you may you know
yourself enough to know the value that you've been sent an
assignment by god to bring to the world i have a few more questions that i've
added to the list that i'm going to drop in my blog
um house of hosting heaven the link will be in the description box below but i
really want to encourage you to ask yourself these questions and make it a
habit to ask yourself these questions because
they've really edified me in my own self-love journey let me know
if this video has been useful let me know if the self-love videos that
i've been doing have been useful specifically to you
i will link the other videos that i've done in the description box below as
well but i'm super grateful for every single
one of the new subscribers i know that the channel has been growing quite a lot
my name is melody and i'm so so deeply grateful that you
permit me to serve you and i'm gonna see you
in my next video bye