Hello and welcome to another edition of Ask The Attorney Anything. I'm Rebecca Zung and I want to
welcome all of you here to my Live, where I answer all your questions and I do it in real-time. So
I'd love to know where you are all tuning in from. And I'm here in California right now.
I haven't been able to go many places because of COVID, and we're on a serious situation here.
We've got lots and lots of people in COVID and the hospitals are getting overrun and
all kinds of crazy things. And the narcissists continue to plague our lives wherever you are.
So I would love to see where you're all tuning in from. We usually have people from all over the
world. There are times that I see people joining my private Facebook group, which by the way,
love to have you all join. It's at Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung on Facebook and lots
and lots of people are in there supporting each other and helping each other and giving each other
ideas and feedback. It's just absolutely incredible what goes on in there.
So, we have close to 20,000 people in there right now, and people from all over the world, because
narcissism knows no bounds. I mean, there are times that people buy my programs or something and
I'm in my team meetings and we're like, "Where is that country? Like, we've never even heard
of that." And it's exciting on one hand and on the other hand, it's like, "Wow, I can't believe that
there are people who are narcissists all over the world and people who are dealing with that."
So I'm just going to give everybody a little chance to pop on here,
say hi to me in the live chat, let me know what your questions are,
let me know where you're tuning in from. And I want to take this opportunity to thank
everybody because we hit 100,000 subscribers on my channel yesterday and I'm so, so thrilled
because I know that the message is getting out there, that people who need actual help from a
real lawyer who are negotiating with narcissists, whether it's in a divorce setting, a breakup,
a post-divorce parenting plan, modification, enforcement issues, whatever it is that you're
dealing with. It's a narcissistic business partner, it's somebody in work, any time you are
dealing with a toxic personality and you're having to negotiate and navigate your way through that,
that's what I'm here to help you do. So I'm super excited to have 100,000 subscribers
really in about 10 months because I really started getting serious about YouTube in March
when my program went live. My program is Slay Your Negotiation With A Narcissist, and you can check
out more on that on at slayyournegotiation.com, and slay stands for strategy, leverage,
anticipate what the narcissist is going to do, and focus on you, your case, your position, creating
your offense so that you're finally feeling like you're shifting that dynamic and turning
the ship around so that you're not constantly on your back like with your feet up in the air,
like your paws up in the air, and being on the defensive. It feels so good to finally turn it
around and be on the offensive for a change. So people are asking me about finding a lawyer
in different areas. I would tell you, number one, to check out my webinar, my free webinar,
I'm doing it absolutely live next week. I will be doing it live on January 13th at 9:00 AM. And I
will be there just doing a... It's my three secrets to communicating with a narcissist.
And during the program, I actually talk to you about how I would tell you
to go about finding a lawyer in your area, but I really, really, really do caution you because 99%
of lawyers do not understand narcissism and so you really have to be armed with your own knowledge
and your own strategy and your own leverage because if all you needed was a good lawyer,
then we wouldn't have this problem of cases that go on for years and years and people spending
hundreds of thousands of dollars. And that's what I'm teaching you how to do, how to use your lawyer
as part of your strategy to get the hell out of this situation in a way that's powerful
and in control and actually getting what you want in a fair way, and
having the case be efficient and not dragging on. Because remember narcissists, they get supply from
making your life miserable. And the one thing that I really want people to understand is that there
is a hierarchy of supply for narcissists. There's like this diamond level supply, which they will
hold onto and protect at any cost, which is how they look, their reputation,
their place in the community, especially if in front of people that they respect,
which they certainly respect judges and attorneys and other people involved in the process.
They want the parenting plan coordinator to think that they're wonderful or the guardian ad litem
or the custody evaluator, whoever's involved. And so they'll protect their reputation and how they
look at any cost. And that's really like the [inaudible 00:06:33] level of supply for them.
And then there's the what I call the coal level of supply. And the coal level of supply is like
the supply that gives them energy, it burns, and they love it, of course, they want to keep all
areas of supply that they can also all lines of it. But the supply that they get from
jerking you around, making you miserable, dragging out the case, making you squirm,
making you feel intimidated, all those kinds of things is what I call coal level supply.
So the key in creating leverage in any negotiation is going to be threatening that diamond level
supply in a way where they really feel like this is going to happen, but not actually doing it.
That's the key if you can manage it is be ready to go through with it but not actually have to
because they'll let go of the coal level supply, which is the making you miserable part,
in order to grasp on and hold on to that diamond level of supply. And that's what I
teach you how to do. You've got to create that strategy, you've got to create that leverage,
otherwise, you will be led around by the nose because making you miserable is what they
actually want out of the negotiation. They don't want anything else, they just want that supply.
They get supply from making you miserable. So, let's see. I have some questions now.
And I just answered the question about the lawyer. I really want you guys to make sure
that you check that out. So come join me in my free webinar next week, there'll be a signup
link for it. It'll be pinned to the first column. Come join me there, I'll talk all more about how
to make your lawyer your ally. I'm going to talk all about that next week in the webinars. So make
sure you join me for that. And I'll also be doing Ask The Attorney Anything session there as well.
As far as getting a narcissistic parent to sign rights over, I did in Ask The Attorney
Anything on all sorts of custody stuff. I answered everything in that. I definitely recommend you go
and check that out because I just did that like maybe two weeks ago, so I don't want
to be redundant here for people who want me to answer other questions, but everything custody,
go check out on my Ask The Attorney Anything from like two weeks ago. You'll find it there.
Let's see. Best strategy for unraveling in narcissist vile behavior in court. So, Marissa,
that is what I was just talking about with that diamond level. It all comes down to understanding
that the only thing that drives a narcissist, there's only one thing, it's like the rats in
the maze with the cheese, and that is narcissistic supply. But understand that there's better cheese
than others, right? And so there's a certain kind of cheese that they're going to protect
more than anything else and that's what you have to threaten. And it is only then that they will
finally let go of what they're doing to you. That is the only way that you will get this to happen.
All right. So I know when people are telling me that they've had cases going on for three, four,
five, six years, and they've spent hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars, which I did a
survey in my Facebook group and found out that a huge percentage of you, I think it was over 86%,
had cases that lasted more than 18 months. It was something like 40% had more than 18 months,
and then another 46% was more than three years. So you've got to
get a hold of it. And if you don't figure out a way to get ahold of it, you're going to be off
on this wild horse that's going nowhere and you're not going to be able to control the situation.
So that's the way you'll do it. So why does a narcissist run the
court system? They don't necessarily run the court system, it's just that you're presenting your case
and presenting your evidence and presenting your leverage all has to be done in a very methodical
way or the court system will not see it. You have to present it in a way where you're leading
them step-by-step, you're leading the judge step-by-step to exactly the conclusion that
you want to have them come to. And the only way to do that is through that magic bullet leverage.
And that's exactly what I teach you how to do in my Slay program.
Casey [inaudible 00:00:11:53], "Thank you for all the videos you create on narcs,
it's helped me a lot. I finally realized my wife has PTSD." I'm so sorry but I'm so
glad that you were here. And now that more of you are here, I want to thank you all again.
I just reached 100,000 subscribers yesterday in a period of 10 months. That means that so
many of you are so hungry for real information, real knowledge, and power in fighting back and
standing up to and creating a situation where you are finally in control with these narcissists.
There's only one way to negotiate with narcissists and that is the Slay methodology. That's it? It's
the only thing that works. I know, I've seen it, I've used it in my own practice as a lawyer with
my clients, and I've also used it in my own life. I've had to deal with a couple of narcissists in
my own life and thank God I've been able to go no-contact and have boundaries, but while you're
still in the thick of it with them, while you're still having to negotiate with them because you
need something from them, you need to get out of this business relationship or you need to get out
of the marriage and there's stuff that needs to be done, then making sure that you set yourself up
in a place where you are going to be protected is going to be so, so, so critical. Otherwise, you're
going to be farther and farther and farther into the ditch and it's harder and harder and harder to
climb your way out of it. So getting ahold of it right as soon as you can is absolutely critical.
So let me see if I have any more questions that I can answer. Let's see.
Somebody is saying, "Have you noticed..." This is Pete. "... have you noticed that they're unedged,
knowing one word will set them off?" So I always say that the not-so-secret secret
is that the narcissist is actually the weaker one, that you are actually the stronger one.
They don't want you to know that. I often say it's like the Wizard of Oz. They have
that whole like powerful thing going on and the wizard had created Oz and it was so beautiful
and you go there [inaudible 00:14:17] big, huge head, and it's a great and powerful Oz.
And then you look behind the curtain and it's this old, little man, and that's kind of what's
going on with the narcissist. They don't want you to see the little thing behind the curtain,
which is that you are actually the stronger one. And pulling away that curtain
and showing your power is exactly what we do here and what I teach you on this channel.
So if you haven't subscribed to my channel, please do so now and make sure you like this video.
I see [inaudible 00:14:57] people have liked it. Let's see way more people liking this video
so that I feel incentivized to continue to come on here and answer all your questions. And
I will also be doing another version of Ask The Attorney Anything at my free webinar next
Tuesday, January 13th at 9:00 AM. And thank you all so much for helping me get
to 100,000 subscribers because that means that what I'm doing is the right thing. And I am so
grateful and honored to be able to be a conduit for the universe. I don't mean to be too crazy,
out there, but I do believe that I am a conduit from the universe to bring knowledge to you and
I'm very grateful that I get to do that. So it is my honor to be here with all of
you and help you through this time and hopefully be a beacon of light for you.
If you haven't gotten my free Crush My Negotiation worksheet, please feel free to
do that at winmynegotiation.com and join me in the private Facebook group, come to my free webinar.
Lots and lots of free resources here for you. And I send to you all light and power,
and we are going into 2021. It's going to be the year of the Ox. I'm half Chinese
so to me it's the year of strength and determination and fortitude and
that's what we all are giving each other by being here together in this community. So
send you light and peace, and I will see you in the next video. Thank you guys so much.