You're dating a guy and he tells you, "I need a break to go figure out things."
That sucks.
What do you do?
Hey you guys, my name is Mat Boggs.
I'm a bestselling author and love coach.
Today I'm going to give you three things that you can do when the guy you're dating says,
"I need to take a break to go figure things out."
At the end of this videos, I'm going to give you six words that you will use as your mantra,
that will empower you, that will create a grounded sense of peace in you, and it will
help carry you through this experience, because when this happens to anyone, whether it's
a man or a woman on the receiving end of, "I need to go figure it out," it's painful.
What can you do?
Set up number one is, you want to set up a time when you're going to reconnect, a time
when you're going to talk.
Someone's saying, "Hey, I just want to take a break to figure things out and I'll text
you when I'm ready," that's really unfair in a relationship, because for those of us
we want the relationship to work out.
We're invested in this relationship.
Let's just imagine you've been with this person for over a year and it's been going great,
you're going to try to make that work.
When you're the one on the receiving end of, the other persons says, "I'm going to go off
and just figure this out," what happens for us on the receiving end is, every day we come
home and we're waiting for that text, we're waiting for that phone call, and it's painful,
and it sucks.
What you want to to is, set up a time to talk.
It's useful for two things, two reasons.
Number one, when you know you're going to talk at this date and this time, you can relax,
you can go off and start living your amazing life.
You can then let that person have their time, and you can focus on you, your friends, your
family, and pour yourself into moving your life, in the direction that you would love.
The second thing this does, is this helps him get clear.
It's not time that creates clarity.
He wants three weeks or whatever it is to get clarity.
It's not time that will give him clarity, because if time gave us clarity, he would
already be clear, because you've already been together for months or years.
He would already be clear.
What creates clarity is really the courage to dive deep into the hard questions.
"Is this really what I want?"
That's what he's going to be asking himself.
When you have a deadline on that, he knows that he needed to be more clear when that
moment comes, than he is today.
Oftentimes human nature is to procrastinate, and just get distracted, and he'll go do his
own thing.
When he knows he's going to go talk to you again at that date and time, it's a moment
for him to sit down and really consider what does he want.
Does he want to all the things that that involves.
Does he not want to be with you.
That courageous question exploration inside of him, it takes courage to do that.
When you have that deadline, number one, it helps you relax, number two, it helps him
get clear.
The second thing that you want to do, and I know this is tough, but you really want
to give him space.
Give him the space that he's asking for.
Here's why, the space actually creates contrast.
If the only reason we can tell hot water exist, if this is hot water, is because we want what
cold water feels like.
It's that contrast that allows us to know one thing from the other.
When you give him space, you're actually giving him contrast of what life is like without
you.
When he starts experiencing what life is like without you, without the joyful times you
guys have together, without the laughs, without being intimate, without the sex, without all
the fun things that you guys do together.
When you give him time without you, you're really giving him the gift, of feeling what
life is like without you.
That way he can become clear of, "Wow, I am really missing out on something amazing, because
when I'm with this woman, my life is incredible."
He's the third thing that you can do, the third thing that you can do is to burn into
your mind this mantra, "The best is yet to come," six words, "The best is yet to come."
That is the truth, the best is yet to come for you.
I know from the position you're at right now, if you're dealing with this situation, it
can be very very hard to see that, because what you're experiencing is, the best that
you want is pulling away, but when you expand your view longterm and you realize that we
live in a universe that delights in expansion, it wants and seeking greater growth, the universe
is going wanting to bring you something amazing.
It is either going to be this man or if he removes himself from your life, you got to
ask your question, "Is the universe going to bring me someone worse or someone better?"
What do you believe?
If you find yourself in this situation right now, what you want to do, is while he's figuring
things out, is you want to work on developing your best life.
I created a great video that will really serve you.
It's right here.
We're also going to link it up below.
It's called, How to Make This Year The Best Year of Your Life.
I'll give you some great strategies for how to do that.
Go ahead and take that video, watch it, apply those strategies.
It's really going to serve you during this period.
I have a question for you, what strategies have worked for you, when your man is pulling
away or when he's asking for space, he want to figure out his feelings, what strategies
worked for you during that?
What advice would you give somebody who's dealing with that?
Go ahead and post the comment section below.
I love checking out your comments, and if you're not subscribe to this channel, take
a moment, click that subscribe button because we put out videos each and every Thursday,
on dating topics, male psychology.
Really how to help you create the love life that you absolutely love.
Thanks so much for watching.
I'll see you soon.