- Hello!
The astute amongst you will notice, still not back at home.
I'm in York now, at an Airbnb.
Since last time I made a video, I accidentally did stand-up
at an open mic night, and I watched Stevie's video
about crushes on lesbian YouTubers.
So guess what we're doing today, everyone! (groans)
As a queer girl on the ace spectrum, crushes are weird.
So I'm kinda like, these are the people
who maybe I might ask on a date,
if they weren't living in another country to me,
slash weren't already in a relationship,
slash weren't all way out of my league,
slash I wasn't a pussy and had like
ever asked anyone out on a date before.
(groans)
So many of these people are people that I know,
or people who are friends of friends,
or people that I know I'm going to meet at events soon.
(groans)
(singing) No regrets, no regrets, No regrets in this video.
We're gonna start with the instigator
of all this nonsense, Stevie.
Stevie makes just such funny, fun, intelligent videos
that get the point across in just such a lovely way.
She's also the kind of person that you're like
"I know that if I went onto your Facebook,
"and I scrolled back to the earliest pictures
"you ever put on Facebook, they wouldn't be
"how normal people's pictures are, where it's like
"a bad side fringe, and terrible fashion sense.
"She'd just look flawless, like she already does."
So yeah, that's Stevie.
Taylor is someone who is simultaneously able
to be serious and deep,
but also a bundle of sunshine and joy.
She's also the kind of person who's like the drunk girl
at the club who's got like snacks and refreshments
and stuff in her bag, and tells you your hair looks cute,
but then is like "But let's discuss the patriarchy
"and Black Lives Matter."
Which is great.
Marie.
Her stop-motion, her watercolours that she does herself,
her photos, just are all amazing.
She's going places, and she deserves every bit of it.
Also, she's the kind of person who never seems
to wear makeup, and yet always looks perfect.
So like, fuck you Marie.
Dodie.
Her music is beautiful, her face is beautiful.
She wears glasses, that apparently she doesn't even need,
and she looks better in glasses than me,
and actual real-life blind human being.
But no one's perfect, so I forgive her.
Riley.
She posted some pictures the other day
of her with a ponytail, and I died.
She eats too slowly, fight me Riley,
and she doesn't know how to cook,
but no one's perfect, you know?
She's also like the smartest, most productive person,
so it all kind of balances itself out.
I'm also gonna bring Alayna into this,
because she's hilarious, I Don't Bi It is hysterical.
Like why are you even watching this trash video?
Just go straight and watch an episode of I Don't Bi It,
because it's gonna be better, so good.
Marina.
Marina is one of those people that when I started
making content, I was kinda like, I'd found her channel
and was like "Why should I even bother?
"Because your content is so good,
"and it's basically what I aspire to be, and to do."
Her brain is so cool, her makeup is always so cool,
her eyeliner, I just...
(groans)
I'm gonna go high-stakes here, Ingrid fucking Nilsen.
Like, she's so beautiful, and cool, and she's...
I feel like after her coming out, you saw
how much she changed, and became more of herself, and just--
Okay, the lighting in this shot's gonna be real different,
because the sun has just set, so apologies for that.
Last person on my list, though,
and this is not an exhaustive list, because, ugh,
I follow so many cool queer women, oh my God.
Drum roll please!
(drums on legs)
It's Ari Fitz.
Just, ugh, she's just so effortlessly chill, and cool,
and beautiful, and I can't. (groans)
I only found her super-recently,
but just what a lovely human.
And we are done!
Like ripping off a Bandaid, we did it.
Go us.
If you would like to see the kind of complete circle
of my total humiliation, maybe step on over to Twitter,
because I'm planning on sharing this video,
and then probably tagging many of the people
who are in this video.
(groans)
Because (singing) I hate myself. (hums)
I'm also painfully aware that my dad watches all my videos,
so hi Dad.
Take this as evidence of why you're very unlikely
to get a daughter-in-law from this one.
(sighs) 'Cause I'm a mess.
As always, if you wanna help me make these videos,
I'm gonna leave a link to my Patreon in the description,
along with all my social media links,
so you can find me all over the internet.
And until I see you next time, bye!