Hello everybody, my name is markiplier
And welcome back to five nights and candy's 3
Now we've got a long way to go, and i know it's been a while since the last one
I apologise for that
I have no excuse for my behaveior
I think i've already gone into the
...
Dark world over here
So i think we just need to go over here and beat this night
TO DEATH.
We need to SMASH IT IN IT'S FACE because this is the fifth night!
And according to the name this is the last one (but we all know that isnt true)
So immona beat these guys face in..
(Mark where are you going)
AND THEN SLAP EM WITH THEIR OWN CORPSES
Don't ask me how im gonna do that.
maybe imma take turns with like the cat's gonna beat the mouse (sic) and the mouse (sic) is gonna gonna beat the cat
Anyway we're gonna beat this!
This subtitle intentionally left blank
Flaboosky!
Come on whatchu got!
Watchu got for meeEEE
Huh?
You think you got something for
MEE?
No.
I heard that!
Man, this would be easier if i was like the girl from the ring and my head was
just spinning round and round.
Or, wait, the girl from the exorcist.
My head was just spinning like a god damn swivel.
Preemptively re-winding is my friend!
And that kitty cat is NOT MY FRIEND
STAHP DAT!
I saw you there you be bang-bongin on the DOOOOR
Again, don't know how you got in that closet..
Go back to narnia and tell..
L-l-l-Liam Neeson to go fuck himself..
I don't know why!
I got nothing against Liam Neeson tho.. (suuuure)
Not today!
You can bang all you want!
It ain't gonna happen!
HUH
This room is a BANG FREE ZONE! (The rat disagrees)
WHOA HEEYYY.. Buddy boo!
Oh, fuck you!
Snap!
Oh SNAP..
Crackle!
Pop! (The cereal trifecta is complete)
Oh, fuck.
Hiii! Gotcha, that was a GUESS
That was just a god damn guess.
That was a fuckin gues- oh heeey!
oh whoa whoa whoa whoa
I see you over there, yeah you skidaddle back!
Not gonna die, today!~
NOT GONNA DIE, TODAAY! (mhm)
Gonna live, a live long life! (right right, sure)
No mouse (Sic) is gonna eat me!
I'M MARKIII- (And then he suddenly stops talking)
(Thinking of words to say)
(Suddenly resumes singing) I'LL BE A YOUTUBER SOMEDAY
(Eerie silence)
Cause i'm gonna be like my hero, markiplier (But YOU'RE markiplier?)
(Whispering) Hello, goodbye!
uh oh!
Ah, that ain't good!
That's uh, that's bad
Oh, you came out of nowhere!
You weren't there before!
Where'd you come from?
Where did you go?
COTTON EYE JOE YOU GIVE ME A GOD DAMN STRAIGHT AWNSER
For once in your god damn life!
(Spoop sound) Oh boy.
Kitty cat's there too.
Oh no..
It was at this moment that he knew..
He fucked up.
Oh no.. Gotta play DOUBLE DOODY HERE-
(We all knew this would happen)
Fucking NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I THOUGHT I COULD PLAY DUBLO DOOODY!
FUCK.
(Jumpcut)
Goofed ya!
Goofed ya good!
(Spoop lightning)
Alright. So we got that goof gone!
So now we just need to get the goof'n play'n!
Goofer goin!
Almost done with this son of a bitch!
Five AM should be right around the corner!
(Rat fucking off sound)
Which means that we're gonna be in good shape right soon!
Yup, 5 AM, one more hour (SHOCKINGLY DIFFICULT MATH)
And i got this on LOCK.
if i can stop being such a god damn goof about EVERYTHING that i do..
(Sexy breath)
I'll be able to get through this. (Oh my)
WHOA, wheeere the FUCK? (The not sexy kind)
Okay, alright then!
He's goofin me pretty good!
I fe- I feel goofed here!
This is some- some scinarious goofin going on here. (New word invented by markiplier)
Oh god dammit he's goofed me again (Bamboozled)
Fuck your goofage!
Dammit! God dammit, he goofed me good!
This guy needs to get me off the GOOF TRAIN!
I can't take this goofage.
Heeyy, goofy!
I hear a cat goofin up on me!
I don't much care for the goofy of the cat.
That's right, get right back down there.
Kay, almost there, almost there, almonds hair..
If i'm lucky i can get six AM without another encounter with the RIOT..
oaiii, RIOT.
Speaking of you..
Go screw yourself with poo! (Turd dildos?)
(Mark going insane sound)
Now, what weird cutscene is gonna happen, now?
How does this go bad, for me?
Is it gonna be completely empty? No, it's not, it's not empty.
Alright then.
I mean, maybe it'll be empty once the show starts and everybody *DIES*
And everyone dies a horrible *DEATH.* (Darkiplier much?)
Can i go in here now?
Yeet?
Fine.
Alright then, so there's gotta be something else here
In these - Wow, it's a crowded day today!
Full house!
(Reading words on screen)
No DAD, because apperantly it's going to be DEADLY! (You don't know that)
OOOOOOHHHHHH
All the kids are so excited, im going to go over here first though, okay nothing.
HIIIiiiIII
(Reading words on screen)
Is there gonna be like, no hiding spots left, and i have to..
Oh no.. (What is it mark?)
Where did all the kids go? (They're better hiders than you) *OOOOOOOHHHHHHH*
Where the heck did they all hide? (They evaporated into invisible vapor and amalgomated into a giant blob of nothing that's shaped like nothing in particular)
WHOA!
Da FUUUUUUCK?
Da FUUUUCK?
WHOOA
(Reading words on screen)
Oh, alright!
(Reading words on screen)
Okay, and let me check the trash can, that's the last thing in here.
(Reading words on screen)
OOOOH NOOO THE KID WHO THOUGHT HE WAS HIS BEST FRIEND
(Reading words on screen)
WELP.
They don't care about nothin.
Ima hide in this closet.
(This scene is exceptionally fucked, trust me)
(Reading words on screen)
Okay, whoa, hey..
(Reading words on screen)
Ow..
DEAD.
(Reading words on screen)
That blood isn't funny!
(Reading words on screen)
I'll have to kill you too to make you silent!
Ring, ring!
Ring, ra-ring, ring!
Uh oh.
Yeah, that's a good move.
Yeah, that's always the best move, to commit real murder to over up your accidental murder
(Reading words on screen)
Yeah i was just joking about the kill him too thing, you didn't have to do that, that was..
That was the opposite of what should have been.
Yeah, take one second to stare at the diploma for a bit.
(Reading words on screen)
..MystEEEERIOUSLY
(Reading words on screen)
There assuredly isnt no little girl in here hiding in the closet, no, no way!
Ha!
What are the odds of that happening?
Okay, wierdos.
Wait, why'd you take the diploma?
Why'd you take the acting diploma?
You're such a good actor that you cant remotely break character for a second, you murderous bastard?
(Reading words on screen)
The TRUTH ENDING?
(Reading this giant-ass letter)
Okay, alright then!
Ahh. Wait. Final night?
And then extra? What does it mean, though?
Let me check out the extra first, before i go to the final night.
Oh.
Wait a minute!
I didn't know this was gonna be a game, i though.. Oh, okay.
(Reading words on screen)
Interesting stuff. Spooky. Scary. (Skeletons) Spookyscary(skeletons)
I don't have much work in 3D modelling but he did do a good job in making this guy.. Pretty flippin' scary.
(Weird mark noises)
Okay, and the arcade- OH!
Well, okay!
Oooo!
Hi, candy!
Oh, look!
Candy is gettin FOOD!
Man, these would have been cool minigames to have..
Like, um
I'm not saying- Critiquing the story at all (Yes you are)
Like the story was actually pretty good
But it did get a bit repetitive after a while (Remember, he's not critiquing the story at all
I feel like, if there was a way- To have the sprinkled in there, and have these go by?
It would have been really cool.
Is that trash? is that gonna bad?
Oh no, candy's gonna die!
(Pingu is just like FUCK YOU CANDY)
Oh, hi.
Oh, it's PINGU!
IT WAS PINGU!
Aw, i miss pingu.
That one's not complete cause i guess i didn't get that one
But let me, ah, let me go back to the main menu
And let me try this final night, let me try it, uh, i don't know if im gonna beat it at the first time- oh!
Heeeeeey!
(Reading words on screen)
(In short, he's gonna have a bad time)
Oh! Ahh! oh! A spooky! Okay!
Alright then!
The final night!
ALRIGHT, *VINNIE*. COME ON.
Come at me, if you CAN! (He has no idea what he's in for)
Idonevenknowifyourableto (He is)
Are you up to the challenge of the markiplier? (Yes)
Yeah, didn't think so
*Secretly terrified mark*
Eugh!
*Secretly terrified mark regains his composure*
Okay..
Ooo. The fuck?
Okayyy!
VINNIIEE
CUM ON OUT!
PLAY WITH MEE
Oh.
*Not-so-secretly terrified mark*
It's a moose!
It's the reincarnation of the moose man!
HEY, fucking FUCK YOU DUDE!
FUCK YOU DUDE!
FUUUCK YOU, DUDE!
WHOA. HEY.
Hi.
How you doin? (Pretty good)
You good? (Yes)
Yeah. (Indeed)
Why dont..
Why can't i just turn on my bedroom lights (I assume all this damn lightning has caused a week long power outage)
Oh god, oh god, OH GOD, HI.
Okay so- OOOH MY GOD, WHAT WAS THAT
OH FUCK, THAT'S HARD TO DEAL WiiiiIIIIITH!
OH, FUCKING, FUCKING, FUCKIN- OH, WHAT THE FUCK?
(His ankles are durable for a first try)
Okay alright you calm down there, sonny jim!
Vinnie.. The moose man!
Oh, fuck you are out of your god damn gord, you -OOAAAHHHH FUCKING FUCK YOU
What are you even doing? SSTAHP IT
Stop, stop, stop!
Stop!
STOP!
Stop!
Oh, fucking- What are you gonna be dancing this dance all night? (Just about)
Vinnie you son of a buiskIETT EATER
You sack of shit!
Okay, here we go!
Okay i guess that's it then! (You wish)
Uh.. I GUESS?
Hi vinnie! okay, hi.
*vinnie peaking sound*
Was that the cue? (Yes)
Eeeehh?
Hi vinnie.
oh, alright! okay!
*Comical vinnie fucking off animation*
OOOOAalrighty then.
*Imitating what vinnie may have sounded like as he's getting dragged by his ass out of a child's room*
Oh god, this moose man is really acting up a STORM OUT THERE!
So fuck off!
(Wow, this is the most scared i've seen mark in a while. Real, actual terror, not this giant orgasm he has when he gets jumpscared.)
Oh, shit.
Well, hi.
HEEYY, OOOHH I THOUGHT I HAD THAT.
I thought i was doing GREAT! (Actually he was)
Okay then!
FUUUUUUUCK YOU! *Skype chimes in to agree with mark*
Alright. Anyway!
So that's all the time i got for five nights at candy's, there is some more to do here
and vinnie seems to be a bit of a challenge here.. (You don't say?)
And there are more things to unlock, i did miss one arcade games to play in the menu here.
So there's a whole bunch of stuff and maybe i've got one more episode
to conquer. Vinnie. Once and for all and see what the rest of these things are.
BUT IN THE MEAN TIME, thank you everybody so much for watching and let me know what you think in the comments BELOW,
And as always i will see YOU..
In the next video!
BUH BYE!
Oh look it's a caption easter egg
I feel honored to transcript the magestic, buttery voice of mark.
Also i captioned this entire episode for three hours so yall better appreciate it. >:c