Are you a victim of a narcissist and maybe having heard the term
bread-crumbing before, but wondering if maybe you've been a victim of it,
or experienced it? By the end of this video, you're going to know what bread-crumbing is,
and what the red flags are to find out if it's being used on you.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung, top 1% attorney and the best-selling author of the books Negotiate
Like You Matter, and Breaking Free, a step-by-step divorce guide. And I've helped thousands of people
go from lives of drama, trauma, and chaos. Is that you, is that where you are now drama, trauma,
and chaos? If you are, and you're ready to step into a life of freedom, possibility, and purpose,
then go ahead and subscribe to my channel, and hit that notification
bell. And that way you'll get notified when I upload new videos. And when I go live and
do all these cool things that I do on this channel, to help you escape these horrible
narcissist and awful toxic human beings. Now let's talk about bread-crumbing. You've
heard of the term gas lighting. Maybe you've heard of the term flying monkeys. Maybe you've heard
of all of these different terms, probably way more about narcissists than you ever wanted to learn.
But there's another term out there and it's called bread-crumbing. And it's really a form of future
faking. And if you want to know more about future faking, check out my video on future faking,
and you'll learn way more about that. But basically in a nutshell, what future faking
is, is you are leading the person to believe that they're going to have a future that is different
than what has been in the past. And so future faking when you're already in a relationship with
a narcissist is, you've called them out on their behavior. And you've said, "Here's what I see
that you've done or not done. You promised that you would do this, but you didn't."
And so what future faking is, is the narcissist will then turn around and say,
"Okay, let's just forget about that. Here's what it's going to look like in the future.
I'm going to be better. I'm going to do all the things that I said that you want me to do now."
And they paint this picture, it's a form of love bombing in a way, that just makes it look like the
way life is going to be going forward, is going to be so much better and so much different,
than the way life has been so far, or the things that have happened so far in the past.
So just move forward, let's forget about it. And it's a way to quiet you, silence you,
get them off your back, get you to not look at whatever it was that you were upset with them
about. So that's future faking. So bread-crumbing is in a way, a form of future faking.
But in bread-crumbing, what you are dealing with is, you're just starting the relationship
with this person, or you think you're starting a relationship with this person. And so they give
you enough either through social media or texting or something like that, that makes you think that
they're interested in you. And so they might say how beautiful you are or how handsome you looked,
or something like that. And you start to believe that there's a possibility of a long-term
relationship. And they might even get into a relationship with you, but it just feels like
it's not really going anywhere, but they give you just enough to make you feel like something
is going to happen. And so they future fake with you, "I can't wait to see you soon.
We're going to spend the weekend together." Something like that. And it could even be in a
business relationship too, by the way, where they say, "We're going to do great things together."
Or, "I'm going to have you on my show." Or, "I can promise to deliver this particular client to you."
And they tell you just enough to keep you interested and keep you going. So they're
throwing out these little breadcrumbs to you, to keep you on the hook. It's basically
leading you on, it's a form of leading you on, a very narcissistic manipulation tactic that they
use to get people into their layer, their web of control, their little narcissist kingdom,
the way I think of it in my mind. And the reason they do that, is because they want to have
as much supply as possible. They need to have as much supply as possible. So if they can get
as many people lined up, interested in them, then they get narcissistic supply from that.
And if you want to know more about narcissistic supply, check out my video on narcissistic supply.
It's basically anything that feeds their ego. They get a rush from the fact that
they're controlling you. And they really love to get a rush from the fact that not only are they
controlling you, but they're not even giving you what you want, which gives them another form of
rush. So they've got these people that are hanging on their every word, and hoping to be with them,
but not getting that. And that just feeds their ego, and it gives them that narcissistic supply.
So some red flags of bread-crumbing are, they are making plans, but they never seem to come to
fruition, or you seem to be much more interested in making plans than they are. So you're
constantly trying to go back to them and get them to respond to you. And it always seems to be you
initiating that conversation. And if you've seen this behavior and you think it is so
wrong, give me a "So Wrong" in the comments. And another red flag that you might see is that
they seem super warm, but then they turn super cold. And then they act like, "Why are you
hounding me? And what are you bugging me for?" Or maybe they just ghost you completely. They just
stop talking to you completely, because now they think that you're acting like you're so desperate,
even though they were the ones that led you on. They might even say,
"We're going to go do something next weekend." And then you go to bring up, "What are we doing
next weekend?" And they'd say, "We're not doing anything next weekend." Or they say ... Maybe
it's Friday, and you were planning to do something that weekend. And now suddenly it's,
"We can go maybe grab lunch on Sunday instead of actually spending the entire weekend together."
And then when it comes time for lunch on Sunday, now all of a sudden they can't make lunch, they're
sick, or they have other plans, or something happened. And they're constantly breaking their
plans with you. And then they act like, what's wrong with you for trying to push on this? And
you need to give them some space. So that is probably another really huge red flag. Yes, people
have to cancel plans every once in a while, but if you keep seeing a pattern like that, it could
be a really big red flag for you that you're being bread-crumbed. So bread-crumbing is just another
form of narcissistic manipulation. And another way to go back to what they need, what their
food is, what their oxygen is, what they need to live on, which is that narcissistic supply.
And when you were dealing with a narcissist in a negotiation setting,
you may see some of this thing too. And if you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist,
you definitely want to check out my free Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet. It's
basically an e-book, and it's all yours for free, if you just go to winmynegotiation.com,
if you like this video, give me a like, give it a share, drop me a comment. Let me know that you've
been here. I'm so glad that you're here. So if you haven't subscribed to my channel, now is
a great time to do that. Subscribe and hit that notification bell. And if you need more support,
come join me in my free private Facebook group. It's called Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca
Zung, and we'll make sure to drop links to all the stuff that I referred to in this video
below. Thank you so much for stopping by. Remember today is a great day to
start negotiating your best life. I'll see you in the next video.