Hello everyone,
and congratulations on making it through another year!
Yay, we did it.
Trump’s still president.
Fifty years from now you’re very dead.
Your entire generation freaked this planet into a coma.
(explosion sound) Spoiler alert!
2018 was home to some of the most momentous moments in nerd history,
so today, we’re here with our entirely unscientific, extremely subjective, and highly superlative end-of-year round up.
I’m Andrew, and these are
Let’s kick things off with
In 2018, we began seeing some real effects of franchise fatigue,
and at a certain point, whoever holds the IP needs to realize that sometimes…
dead is better.
‘Tomb Raider’ was an attempt to bring the grittiness of Lara Croft’s new games to the big screen,
and erase the campy Angelina Jolie movies from our memory,
but you can’t take away my memory.
I love those movies.
Sadly, the film was little more than a series of cutscenes strung together.
Right.
Shane Black tried to jumpstart an iconic action series with ‘The Predator,’
but even if you ignore all of the behind-the-scenes controversy,
the final film failed to strike the balance between gruesome gore and clever quips.
(Squabbling)
Guys, guys, I get it. I get it.
You wanna know if someone plucked an alien.
It didn’t exactly bring in the bucks either, but that’s not the most important criteria here.
In fact, our winner was a runaway success,
which means we’re going to be cursed with future entries in the increasingly unwatchable ‘Jurassic World’ series.
Let’s put it this way:
There have been five ‘Jurassic Park’ movies and there’s only been one good one.
‘Fallen Kingdom’ wasn’t all bad,
the brachiosaur on the dock scene definitely brought some feels,
But it was a reminder of the series’ former dignity that it left behind in favor of mindless CGI and meaningless morals,
resulting in a movie that’s manages to be both a total shitshow,
and the most boring blockbuster since ‘The Matrix: Revolutions.’
Snip.
To paraphrase daddy Ian Malcolm:
Just because you could,
doesn’t mean that you should.
Up next is
2018 saw several soundtracks that surely
slapped.
‘A Star is Born’ brought us all by the wayside,
but I could have used a little more Gaga and less of Bradley Cooper’s bad Springsteen impression.
Zing.
Pretty good.
Post Malone’s ‘Sunflower’ is a late contender for the title, thanks to its awesome music video,
and how it’s incorporated into the ‘Spider-Verse’ as Miles’ webslinging mantra.
(Miles singing and humming ‘Sunflower')
but it doesn’t compare to the towering achievement that is the ‘Black Panther’ soundtrack.
('King’s Dead' by Kendrick Lamar plays)
Curated by Kendrick Lamar, the album is essential to understanding T’Challa, Wakanda,
and the African experience as explored in the film,
exemplified by it’s lead single ‘All The Stars.’
('All The Stars' by Kendrick Lamar, SZA plays)
It’s an album that will live on for decades and stand on its own as an artistic achievement,
the same way entire generations have been defined by legendary soundtracks like ‘The Graduate’ and ‘Space Jam.’
('Space Jam' by Quad City DJs plays)
And while it’s unquestionably a masterpiece,
it’s not the track that received the most airplay in the NowThis Nerd office.
That would be our winner,
Eminem’s ‘Venom.’
('Venom’ by Eminem plays)
We played this song so much in the office that it physically hurt me.
Pairing the edgy ‘90s anti-hero with the rapper who dominated the back half of the decade was a nice touch,
and Eminem’s unparalleled wordplay is on full display,
as he rhymes Venom with
and everything in between.
Classic Eminem.
Pair it with a music video that tells the soulful story of a symbiote that superimposes Slim’s face on unsuspecting innocents,
and you’ve got a bop you can ironically blast until your co-workers take your Sonos access away.
My venom! Venom!
I’m gonna get him with my venom! Ok.
Yes, I, yeah. I get it.
It’s funny.
Next, we have the
We’re loathe to pass judgment on a franchise that is still figuring things out,
but even if it seems on the verge of turning things around,
sometimes a series becomes so toxic that it’s best to just walk away and start fresh.
‘Bumblebee’ is a breath of fresh air for the ‘Transformers’ franchise,
a heartwarming tale that’s been described as a mix between John Hughes and jaw-dropping Bayhem,
and while the Bayformers franchise has more than a few defenders, Moose included,
it’s pretty hard to square Bumblebee’s existence with the utter insanity the series devolved into.
Still, the DCEU takes this award by a mile.
Amazingly, ‘Aquaman’ turned out awesome,
What are you doing?!
She didn’t have a parachute!
Redheads! You gotta love 'em!
Yahoo!
a colorful, joyous romp through the underwater world of Arthur Curry,
where Jason Momoa’s undeniable charisma makes Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck seem like coasters in comparison.
Civilians.
Barry’s headed-
There’s too many of them.
Still, for every ‘Aquaman’ and ‘Wonder Woman,’
Warner just can’t escape the stink of ‘Suicide Squad,’ ‘Batman v. Superman,’ and ‘Justice League.’
Well, in that case...
The future of the DCEU is in crisis,
and even if ‘Shazam’ surprises us and the various Joker movies somehow turn out okay,
they still exist in a world where Holly Hunter drank pee.
Our next award is for
These days, the abundance of excellent CGI makes it hard for any single movie to stand out with its special effects,
which is why the real-life risks taken by Tom Cruise in ‘Mission Impossible: Fallout’ are more memorable than mocap and million zillion polygons.
Still, when it comes to effects, nothing touches the decimation disintegration witnessed in ‘Infinity War.’
With a snap of his fingers, Thanos evaporated half of all life in the universe,
burning them away into wispy red ash.
I’m sorry.
It’s not the most impressive from a purely technical standpoint,
in fact it’s not too difficult for anyone with After Effects to pull off.
but that’s what makes it so brilliant.
Because within hours of the movie's release,
the Internet was flooded with parodies, and tributes to the iconic act of xenocide,
No!
a simple special effect that took on a life of its own and became a meme that will surely live longer than everyone in the MCU will stay dead.
Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
Next is the award for
This one was pretty tough, because 2018’s hugely-hyped event movies mostly delivered on their promises.
Still, there were some films that let fans down,
Like ‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’
Sorry. You do your thing.
Honestly, the movie actually turned out better than expected,
given all the drama surrounding the production,
and despite some baffling plot choices, there’s actually a lot I like about it.
I watched it on an airplane and I didn’t hate it! In fact, I loved it.
Probably because I didn’t pay for it.
It was more of a strategic disappointment,
failing to satisfy the fans who are unhappy with the bold direction Rian Johnson chose for ‘The Last Jedi,’
while simultaneously underwhelming the masses who don’t care about the Expanded Universe
and how Han Solo learned the old ‘fake Wookiee imprisonment’ trick.
Won’t be for long.
Shut up!
But, again, I loved it.
We’re supposed to be dunking on them in this segment.
Yeah but I’m fine with ‘em!
I know a lot of people who were really excited for ‘Fantastic Beasts 2,’
even after the “only-okay” reception of the first movie.
But the sequel somehow managed to piss off hardcore Potterheads,
and bore and befuddle everyone else with more than a passing interest in the Wizarding World.
Between keeping avowed asshole Johnny Depp employed,
and continuing to crap on her own lore,
it might be time for J.K. Rowling to walk away from the Potterverse and rest on her piles and piles of money.
While ‘Beasts’ was butt,
our biggest disappointment of 2018 goes to ‘Ready Player One’
The source novel is nothing to write home about,
but the bones for a pretty good movie are there,
and with Steven Spielberg in the directors’ chair,
we were salivating at the thought of the master of iconic ‘80s cinema getting to play with all of those wonderful toys.
Then...
Well, then we saw the movie.
Guns kill, and you don’t have to be a gun.
You are what you choose to be.
And while it’s not a complete waste of time,
I mean the ‘Shining’ scene alone is almost worth the price of admission,
Hello Danny.
Come play with us.
Oh girls, you know how to get out of here?
it strips away the cleverness of the original story and paints an unconvincing portrait of a dystopia that doesn’t seem all that bad to live in.
It could have been a ‘Roger Rabbit’ for the new millennium,
instead it was a bloated, forgettable fustercluck.
That brings us to our main event:
Now this isn’t some artsy-fartsy ‘best picture’ award,
this is for the film that defined 2018,
the one that sparked the most conversation and dominated our collective pop culture consciousness.
Honorable mention, I guess,
should go to ‘A Star is Born,’
because it’s been a long time since I heard this many people talking about a movie without a superhero or Star War in it.
Animation had a helluva year,
and between ‘Incredibles 2’ and the ‘Spider-Verse,’
I think I’m finally starting to get over my grief for the death of 2D.
Speaking of ‘Spider-Verse,’ it has to be a contender,
one of the most universally beloved films I’ve seen in a long time.
It might be the best Spider-Man movie ever, and it could end up being the biggest,
but because it released so late in the year,
it doesn’t have much of an impact on 2018.
‘Deadpool 2’ managed to improve on the already-awesome first film,
by upping the stakes and scope,
and introducing us to the dynamic Domino and Josh Brolin’s killer Cable.
Dubstep’s for pineapples.
You’re so dark! Are you sure you’re not from the DC Universe?
For a brief moment, we had hope that the Disney/Fox deal would fail,
and Deadpool would lead the charge on a new wave of R-rated superheroes,
but alas, Fox, like so many before it, fell to the House of Mouse.
There’s little question that ‘Infinity War’ was the most anticipated movie of 2018,
and that it fully delivered on the promise that began with ‘Iron Man’ a whole decade ago.
It might have been the most profitable movie of 2018,
but it still feels like one half of a whole,
and it’s hard to pass final judgement until we see what ‘Endgame’ has in store for us all.
No, the movie of the year was, by leaps and bounds,
‘Black Panther.’
Wakanda forever! b
Wakanda forever!
Look, is ‘Black Panther’ the best movie of the year?
Probably not.
That would be ‘Mandy,’ according to our fearless leader.
Honestly, ‘BP’ isn’t even my favorite MCU movie,
but the Shakespearean superhero film was a shining beacon of hope in the chaos that was 2018.
In a world that increasingly wants to close borders and keep people divided,
'Black Panther' kicked open the doors of superhero cinema and told millions of kids around the world
“you belong here.”
It tells a compelling story with sizzling performances by one of the best casts I’ve ever seen
and doubles—no, triples down on superhero action,
and if you didn’t like it,
that’s totally fine,
I don’t hate you. Andrew doesn't hate you.
But when people look back on 2018,
more than the ‘Infinity Wars’ and ‘Solos’ and the ‘Megs,’
They’ll say “2018 was the year that ‘Black Panther’ changed everything.”