Hello there, today I'm going to talk to you about
Internet addiction.
If there was ever a modern addiction, this would definitely be it.
No-one's going to be able to tell you
how much Internet time you should have or shouldn't have,
so what we have to do in our individual lives
is to look at our computer use or our Internet use
and think about whether it's affecting our life detrimentally.
Internet use absolutely can affect our lives.
It can lead to things like
job loss,
relationship breakdown,
financial debt,
academic failure,
apathy,
and an unlived life.
If we do decide that the Internet is having a detrimental effect on our life,
we need to take steps to move beyond that addiction.
The first step, of course, is admitting that we are addicted.
The well-known addiction psychologist Mark D. Griffiths
created six criteria that add-up to Internet addiction.
They are:
When the use of the Internet
becomes the most important activity in an individual's life
and dominates their thinking, feelings and behaviour.
For example, when the individual's offline,
they're thinking about the next time they will be online.
This refers to the subjective experience
that people report as a consequence of engaging in internet use
and can be seen as a coping strategy.
For example, they experience the arousing of a buzz or a high
or paradoxically a tranquillising feel of escape or numbing.
This is the process by which the user increases the level of Internet use
that they partake in to achieve mood modification.
In other words,
people tend to gradually increase the amount of time they are online
to increase the mood modification effects of being online.
The unpleasant feeling states and/or physical effects
that can occur when Internet use is discontinued or reduced:
shakiness, moodiness, irritability.
Most often, unexplained to the person who's experiencing them.
This refers to the conflicts between the Internet user and those around them.
Conflicts with other activities, like jobs, social life, hobbies or interests
or from the individual themselves which are concerned with
spending too much time engaged in Internet use.
The tendency for repeated reversals to prior patterns of internet use.
In other words, even after periods of abstinence or control,
people revert to using the Internet and to their prior addiction to the Internet.
In my opinion, if you meet any of the criteria,
what's to follow in this video is important for you.
Now, it's really important to understand that
Internet addiction can in fact be a mask for other addictions.
For example, we may use the Internet to facilitate a porn addiction.
We may use the Internet to facilitate an addiction to information.
We may use the Internet to facilitate our gaming addiction.
There's multiple different addictions which can be fed via the internet,
so we have to take a really close look at what exactly it is that we are doing
chronically on the internet for so long
and decide whether it is an addiction to the Internet itself or whether
the Internet is just a venue through which to realise and satisfy another addiction.
What fix are we getting via the Internet?
Keep in mind that we might simply be using the Internet to distract ourselves
from something we would rather not feel, see or do.
Every addiction, no matter what it is,
is done to fulfil a need that is not being met.
And every addiction is done to escape from something, usually a feeling state.
So in other words, we're using our addiction
to move away from something unwanted
towards something that is wanted that we feel like we need.
We have to make a serious effort
to try to figure out what it is we're trying to escape from
and also what it is we're trying to get or move towards through the addiction.
Unless we stop running away from what we're trying to run away from
and begin to meet those needs in healthier ways,
we will always have reason to relapse back into an addiction.
Even though it is beneficial at a certain point to start
physically weaning off or eliminating the thing you're addicted to,
it does no good to do so, unless you've addressed
the underlying cause of the addiction.
Before we go further, it's important to understand
that for something to be addictive, it does not have to be
what the scientific community considers to be
a physiologically addictive substance.
Most especially because you can become powerfully addicted
to the chemicals that your own body produces in response to something.
It must be said that Internet addiction is particularly common among people
who have social phobia or fear of intimacy.
Basically if you have a fear of connection and intimacy
but you need and want it at the same time,
the Internet, especially social sites like facebook provide a safe way to get it.
You can be honest and close while still maintaining your distance.
Virtual online friends start to gain more communication and importance over time
to the person, becoming more important of course
than real life family and friends.
This is why it's so important for our social healing
to begin to take our meaningful online relationships
and make them physical or three-dimensional in nature.
We need to physically interact with other people.
People who are currently struggling with depression and anxiety
are also at risk for Internet addiction because the Internet provides
a plethora of distractions from the pain of our physical life.
It must be said that internet addiction is a form of life avoidance.
So what should you do if you're ready to admit that you have an Internet addiction?
The first step, as we said before, is that you have to find out
what it is that you're using that addiction to get away from
and what need you're trying to meet by engaging in that addiction.
It's also crucial for you to discover whether the Internet is masking
another addiction
like porn
or like gambling
or like gaming
and address that particular addiction head-on.
Two: Once we have discovered what we are trying to get away from,
we have to do the opposite.
We have to drive right into the centre of it.
We have to turn around and face the monster.
There's deep internal wounds that need to be healed.
There are fractured aspects of ourself that need to be integrated.
We need to be completely present
with the negative emotions that are trying to get our attention.
We abandon ourselves, the part of us that is hurting
every time we try to get away from what we are feeling.
We have to stop the cycle of self-abandonment.
We begin with practicing emotional Vipassana.
I keep bringing people back to this process for one serious reason:
It is the most long-term and permanent way to find true healing.
To learn this process, I want you to watch my YouTube video
titled "How To Heal The Emotional Body".
Practice this process when you feel the compulsive need or craving
to get on the Internet or to engage in your particular addiction on the Internet.
Any and all shadow work that you will do will benefit you immensely
when it comes to addiction.
We have to make the subconscious conscious
in order to have any choice as far as our actions are concerned.
Three: We need to honestly ask ourselves
whether we're willing and wanting to commit to life or not.
That may seem like an interesting question 'cause after all, you're living,
you've obviously committed, right? Think again.
Just because you're alive doesn't mean that you're committed to living.
And until you really decide to commit to living,
to making the absolute most out of this life when you actually have it,
you're not going to be living a life by virtue of choice.
You're not going to be able to make a life that you want to live.
There's no right or wrong answer to this particular question,
but we have to know whether we're really committed or not,
because if we're not committed, we're not going to make lasting change.
Four: if we decide that we are committed to our life,
we have to start making some serious changes.
We need to ask ourselves:
"What am I missing out on as a result of spending so much time on the Internet?"
Internet addiction is a form of life avoidance.
What is it about your life that you want to avoid?
At some level, if we are addicted to the Internet,
part of us does not want to participate in the living of our physical lives.
Do you feel powerless to your life?
Now here's the most important question:
Start making those changes in your life.
You can involve other people to help you in that process, if you'd like.
The most important thing is that you should consider this a life crisis.
Five: Find ways to meet your needs and your desires in ways that are healthier
than the ways that you're currently meeting those needs right now.
For example, if I'm using the Internet to facilitate my addiction to information
because new information satiates me and makes me feel full or whole,
what can I do instead to make myself feel satiated, full or whole?
Maybe I could attend a meditation retreat.
Maybe I can get a gym membership and exercise.
Maybe I can find a way to contribute
like help someone or volunteer for a charity.
Maybe I can pick up a new hobby.
Maybe I could start going to therapy.
Don't be afraid to try new things.
Six: Notice the urge to use the Internet.
We have to develop a kind of awareness in order to stop ourselves from behaviours
that are ultimately detrimental to us.
So when you notice the urge to use the Internet,
I want you to stop for a minute and ask yourself:
"Do I really wanna do this?"
"And if so, why do I really wanna do this?"
Now beware, when you're addicted to something,
you're very good at justifying the reasons why you are doing that thing
instead of admitting that really the only reason is that you're addicted;
there's no real good reason, you're just looking for an excuse.
It doesn't do you any good to lie to yourself
and justification can definitely be a form of lying to yourself.
After you answer that question honestly,
you can decide whether to go use the Internet
or whether not to use the Internet.
There's no wrong or right answer.
The most important part though is that you're aware
of the process of using the Internet.
Seven: Start to notice your triggers.
Everyone who has addictions
has triggers for those particular addictions.
You wanna pay very close attention
so that you can notice what those triggers are.
That will help you to be ahead of the addiction,
ahead of the urge to use.
Your triggers are the things that cause you to go check something on the Internet.
For example, the idea of starting a work project might be a trigger,
so you may be getting on to avoid or procrastinate it.
Some other triggers might be:
feeling lonely,
having arguments,
other people arguing around you,
eating,
getting notifications on your phone or computer,
being bored,
stressed,
feeling guilt
or like a failure
or thinking of something that you want to look up,
just to name a few.
I want you to pay special attention to the trigger
that causes you to use the Internet the most:
that's your most problematic trigger.
If you're aware of your triggers and you notice that a trigger's happening,
then most likely you're going to know
that an urge to use the Internet is about to come.
Therefore, you're ahead of the urge.
That means that when you do feel the urge,
you're prepared for it
and you can either dive straight into shadow work or emotional processing
or you can choose to replace that urge with something else.
So, for example, if you feel that urge, you could go running instead,
you could take a hot bath instead.
Or you can replace the urge to get on the Internet with another behaviour
like doing pushups
going for a walk,
journaling,
or something else.
Eight: Limit your time on the Internet.
Now you have to do this in whatever way feels doable and promising to you
and that's gonna be different from person to person.
Maybe you can only commit to taking a break for ten minutes every hour.
Maybe you can limit yourself to only getting on the Internet
two times a day at certain times.
Maybe you can limit yourself to only getting on the Internet
certain days of the week.
Commit to whatever feels doable to you and then hold yourself to it.
It might be a good idea to involve other people in the process as well,
as it applies to addiction.
Being public about your addiction
is one of the best ways to hold yourself accountable.
Solicit people to help you maintain awareness of yourself
so you can make the right choices for yourself.
There is also content-control software that can benefit you,
if you feel like purchasing it.
Remember that a commitment
that is not really committed to
is never going to yield positive results
and nobody can be replacement for your commitment.
So you're either committed to changing or you're not.
Nine: if your Internet use is a serious problem for you,
then instead of limiting your time on the Internet,
instead, try to schedule things outside the internet.
You wanna be as connected as you can to the offline world.
So set-up things in your schedule that you know will force you
to be away from the internet or away from computers
and do that every week
and if you can, every day.
Ten: Reduce your Internet resources down to the ones that are
the very most crucial and important for you at this particular time.
We spend incredible amounts of time on the Internet
because there is so much stuff on the Internet to distract us.
So if we're having an issue with our Internet use,
we can decrease those or prioritise only the ones that matter the very most to us.
Delete the ones that don't add to or enrich your life.
You're trimming down to the essential.
You may need your e-mail account
but you don't need your Facebook account.
You may need your Facebook account
but not need the computer game you've been playing.
Limit yourself online to the things that are really important to you,
but don't forget to ask yourself
why those specific things are indeed so important to you.
And when you do get on the Internet to do important things,
treat the Internet like a tool.
The Internet is essentially a means to an end.
The question is what end is it a means to, this time.
Each time you go to get on the Internet, plan your strategy regardless of
whether you're looking for entertainment or looking to do something related to work.
And don't let yourself deviate from that plan.
The Internet is an incredible manifestation.
It has caused the expansion of human consciousness in unparalleled ways,
but let us not forget that we came here to live our physical lives
and let our physical lives be the platform for our future expansion.
Let the internet enrich your life.
Don't let it be an escape from your life.
And don't forget that your attention is important.
Only give your attention to things that benefit your life directly.
Have a good week.
transcribed and synced by Eirini
Subtitles by the Amara.org community