Hail Satan.
(Michael laughs)
(TV broadcast beep)
I'll try to be less camp, hang on.
Hail Satan. (TV broadcast beep)
Hail Satan.
Happy 2021. (Michael laughs)
Hi, I'm Michael and I'm here to...
Oh shit.
That candles gone out, gonna try again.
Oh, no, bent it, I bent it as well.
Do I leave the candle?
- [Man] Maybe just leave it.
- We're gonna leave the candle.
Hi, I'm Michael, and I'm here
to make some bleeding chocolate fondant
in honor of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
on Netflix now.
With of course, our favorite Ambrose.
So I've taking this from my bedside table
and he's just gonna overlook me.
Overlook me?
Watch over?
He's just gonna be here full-time.
There you go.
So, we're gonna start
with making the red chocolate filling
for our chocolate fondant,
(seagulls squawks) and this is what will kind of
ooze out in the middle when we cut into it.
So we're gonna start with a microwaveable bowl
and we're gonna pop 100 grams of white chocolate in
and 100 grams of cream.
It's cream.
And then we just pop that in the in the mi-cro-wavé
for 30 seconds at a time, stirring in-between.
(audio squeaking)
There's got to be some awkward waiting now.
How's the day been?
- Trick question.
- You tired?
- I think death would be better than this living hell.
- Yeah, me too.
(TV broadcast beep)
Just keep checking on it.
You don't want it to burn.
White chocolate's gonna be temperamental.
Just keep stirring it together.
That's like a super simple ganache.
(audio squeaking)
God Ambrose.
Look at him though.
He's got a slightly sweaty chest in this one
which is what I like the most,
but I mean there's an Ambrose for every day,
isn't there really?
Those fucking seagulls are driving my head in.
The seagulls are equally as aroused as I am, apparently.
I'm not aroused, I'm just baking.
(TV broadcast beep)
If it starts to go a wee bit yellow looking,
probably need some more pineapple, hey.
How very niche that one.
Not sure if you'll get it.
But if you did, welcome. (Michael laughs)
So it should be nearly together.
You want to take out of the microwave
while it's still a wee bit lumpy
because the residual heat will sort it right out.
I don't think I'm ever gonna pronounce
the word microwave properly ever again.
Queen Nigella has spoken.
So once it's all kind of come together,
you want to add in your red food coloring.
I've gone for some cocoa butter-based food coloring.
It stops it splitting, but normal coloring works as well.
And you want to pour as much as you want in there.
You want to get it really red.
Oh!
Don't like that sound.
(audio squeaking)
And there we have it.
That is our chocolate ganache there.
So we're gonna cover that in cling film
and pop it into the fridge or the freezer.
You want it to firm up so it's a bit
like a thick peanut butter consistency.
Cover it up a bit, pop it in the fridge.
Job is a good'un.
(TV broadcast beep)
This is like my little personal mission to get this to work.
Come on.
It's the longest it's lasted so far.
The next stage is we're gonna make a raspberry coulis
which we're gonna use to make a wee pentagram,
because why not.
Praise Satan, all that stuff.
So into a pan, we're gonna pop 200 grams of raspberries.
They can be frozen if you want,
it'll just take a wee bit longer.
And then about a tablespoon of icing sugar.
Sure, that's fine.
And a wee squeeze of vanilla extract.
(TV broadcast beep)
A coulis is basically just like a runny jam.
So we put all those ingredients into a pan,
pop that on the hot for about 5 to 10 minutes
until it's kind of released the juices
and it's all a bit kind of slushy
and then we'll strain it and it's done.
It's super easy.
So in a restaurant, when they say they've got a coulis,
they're not fancy is what I'm saying.
(audio squeaking)
We just have to keep an eye on it for 5, 10 minutes.
Don't start doing other things,
'cause you'll forget and it'll start spitting everywhere
and you'll get raspberries everywhere.
So we just have to wait for 5 to 10 minutes.
Hopefully you won't have to wait 5 to 10 minutes,
hopefully, we'll skip through this bit.
(audio squeaking)
I don't know whether you're meant to,
but I give it like a proper smoosh just to like,
just speed up the process a bit really.
I don't like waiting so smoosh it.
Oh, it's bubbling, hang on.
There we are.
So smoosh it, you want the juices to release
and then you want juices to start evaporating away
just so it's not too runny.
We want thick.
So while we wait, I'll give you a bit of backstory
on my relationship with Ambrose.
We met in 2018.
I initiated the conversation.
He wasn't really very responsive to start with.
But I like to think he's just playing hard to get.
Do you know what I mean?
Like that long distance stuff is challenging,
but well you can see it in his eyes.
Do you know what I mean?
You can see the love in his eyes.
God, I've been alone for a long time.
He's hot though isn't he?
Christ.
Whoa.
We love pansexuals.
Talking of pansexuals, my pan is bubbling, hang on.
(TV broadcast beep)
In Britain, Ambrosia is a custard,
and I love that too, obviously,
I think if I was to have to give...
I'm gonna say (romantic music)
I'm baking this for Ambrose, really.
Because gooey inside, like he makes me.
But I imagine, like, we do that thing with our spoons
and we kind of like, link, like that.
Do you know what I mean?
That'd be lovely.
Not that I've thought about it much,
but we would definitely be sat over a candlelit dinner
with candles like this one next is my shrine to Ambrose,
linking arms, feeding each other,
gazing into each other's eyes.
And then things would progress probably quite quickly,
but I don't think you need to know what happens afterwards.
(slide whistle effect)
Woop.
Oh gosh, that's nearly done I think.
(TV broadcast beep)
So, your coulis will be a wee bit thickened,
it'll be all seedy
and no one wants seed caught in their teeth,
so we're gonna...
So we're gonna sieve it.
I mean you might want seeds in your teeth,
in which case, you do you, but like,
this is family content.
(Michael laughs)
(TV broadcast beep)
And we are left with a coulis that looks like that.
We pop that into the fridge as well.
That'll cool down and we'll get back to that later.
(audio squeaking)
That'll keep in the fridge for another, I think like a week?
I don't know.
(TV broadcast beep)
So next we are going to start on the cake batter.
So to start with, we are going to melt together
110 grams of dark chocolate and 110 grams of butter.
Oof.
And then as Nigella would,
we're gonna melt it in the mi-cro-wavé.
Okay and we're going for like 30 second intervals,
just to check it doesn't burn.
We want them to melt together.
You can just gaze at the microwave if you want.
I know you want to, (suspenseful music begins)
we could just look at it together if you'd like.
(suspenseful music ends) It's a sexy microwave.
I'm quite pleased with myself actually.
Keep stirring together.
(audio squeaking)
Oh, it looks really gross.
Looks like you ate one too many Christmas puddings
or something or like your Turkey was underdone.
Look at that.
(Michael makes bubbling sounds)
(loud seagull squawk)
Well, seagulls don't like it either.
Don't know if you heard that.
(mimics seagull)
From them outside?
Like with the white chocolate earlier,
you want to get it out while it's still a wee bit lumpy
so you can stir it together and go smooth.
You don't want to burn the chocolate, it'll go grainy.
It'll be gross and you'll be sad.
(audio squeaking)
(TV broadcast beep)
New Years resolutions, have we got them?
Just gazing at Ambrose for inspiration.
Perhaps my New Years resolution is to be less thirsty,
but we're gonna be locked in our houses for more months
so it's not gonna happen is it?
God, it's been not a long nine months, 10 months.
11?
I don't know.
It's been a long year
and I hope it's not gonna be another long year.
When is COVID over?
Do we know when COVID is gonna be over?
No, that's not what you're here for.
(Michael laughs)
You're here to make pudding.
Right, so that is all melted together.
So we're gonna pop that to one side,
let that cool just a wee bit.
And while that cools,
we're gonna put everything else into a big bowl.
So we need to pop two eggs in.
Yes.
Sport.
Got it in the sink.
2-0, Michael.
And then we want to get two.
Aw, there's eggshell in there.
I was too proud of myself.
And then, we need two egg yolks
and then we're gonna add in 55 grams of sugar.
If it comes out of it.
This is what pre-preparedness does.
Oh, there we go.
Same difference.
(TV broadcast beep)
Eggs and sugar in your bowl.
And you're gonna whisk that together
until it goes properly thick and foamy.
Not turned on.
Oh!
It's fine.
Everything is under control
(Michael laughs)
(Michael laughs in slow motion)
(Michael laughs in slower motion)
(audio squeaking)
Top tip, when you think it's done, it's not,
give it a couple more minutes.
(beater whirs loudly)
So when it's done, you should be able to leave
like a figure of eight made of the batter
on top of the batter there.
Lovely.
Cool, we're gonna pop that
to the side as well just briefly
while we grease our molds.
Now there's no way of doing this with dignity.
You basically just need to get two fingers,
and sadly it does need to be two fingers,
grease 'em up, and stick 'em in the hole.
There's no other way around it, sorry mom.
Make sure it's properly, properly greasy in there.
It makes a horrible noise,
which some of you are probably familiar with.
Please only use two fingers, no full fists.
It's not necessary.
Properly, properly grease it,
you don't want it to get stuck.
Anymore innuendos you can think of.
(Michael laughs)
(Michael laughs in slow motion)
(Michael laughs in slower motion)
2021, eh?
Who'd've thought I'd still be here doing stuff like this.
(TV broadcast beep)
And then we need some cocoa powder.
So grab some cocoa powder,
pop that on top of your lubed up tins
and a-shake it around the inside.
So some people use flour to flour their tins,
but because we're doing a chocolate fondant,
we don't want it to kind of look white
and crusty on the outside.
So we're gonna fill it with cocoa powder
and that'll hopefully give the cake something to stick to
so that it won't get stuck to the tin itself.
Make sure you're not leaving any wee gaps.
Just check 'em all again.
Once they're all ready, pop them to the side
and we'll get that batter made.
We've got the eggs and sugar.
Into that, we are going to fold all of the chocolates.
Pour it down the side.
And then super carefully, you want to fold that in.
- He folds it in.
- I-I understand that, but how- how do you fold it?
Do you fold in half like a piece of paper
and drop it in the pot?
Or what do you do?
- I don't really know what folding means,
but I do like a scoop, pat, pat method,
trademarked here today.
You kind of scoop from the side and button and pat it in.
(audio squeaking)
And once it's nearly all incorporated,
we're gonna kind of, what do you call it?
Like shoogle?
We're gonna shoogle over four teaspoons of plain flour.
And again, we're gonna scoop and fold that through.
Again, don't overmix it,
otherwise you'll lose all that air.
And that's the batter dough.
So I keep my tins on a baking tray.
It's just easier to kind of keep track of what's going on.
So into each of these,
we're gonna spoon some of the mixture.
You only want to fill it up like maybe 1/3 max.
(audio squeaking)
So I've only filled it up that much.
And we're gonna pop that into the freezer
for about 10 minutes and just so the chocolate sets
so that it goes a bit hard.
You'll see why.
(TV broadcast beep)
So once the ganache has kind of gone
into a sort of peanut buttery consistency
when you can kind of touch it with your fingers
without them kind of going gloopy,
you want to scoop out just a little ball
of the ganache
and roll it together like that.
And you want to make a couple of those.
So make lots of balls, pop them on a wee plate.
So we're only gonna need to use four today,
but if you want to make these into little truffles,
you can as well.
You just roll that in some cocoa powder.
Actually, I've got some.
If you just roll that in some cocoa powder.
Got a wee truffle!
Lovely.
Very nice.
That ball's a bit too big,
no one wants balls that are too big.
(TV broadcast beep)
That can go back in the fridge.
And these can go back in the fridge as well
while we wait for the cakes
to set a bit.
(TV broadcast beep)
So the puddings have been in the freezer
for about 10 minutes
and my balls have been in the fridge as well.
The ball have been.
I mean my balls might as well have also been in the fridge.
Basically. I'm getting the balls and the puddings now.
(audio squeaking)
Balls, puddings.
Really simple.
What you look for, 'cause they've been in the freezer,
they're a wee bit more sturdy
which means that they can hold the balls.
Just pop it on like that.
Oop!
You want to make sure it's in the middle basically.
So this red ball is the part that's going to melt
and make it look like it's bleeding.
My friend looks at a picture of these actually
and they were like, "Oh you've made like
pro-menstruation cupcakes!"
And I was like, "Oh great."
I mean, we love normalizing periods,
but these are not period cakes to be clear.
So we're gonna cover... (Michael laughs)
We're gonna cover the red balls with some more mixture,
making sure that the mixture doesn't go more
than like 2/3 of the way up the sides.
I'm not sure you're meant to use your fingers
but I find my fingers always help.
Well, I suppose your fingers do help, depends.
Depends on the circumstance, doesn't it?
Depends what you're up for.
Ah, make sure that the ball doesn't drift to the edges.
You want to make sure the ball is in the middle.
Quite pleasingly, that is the perfect mountain of matter.
Well done, me.
Almost like I sort of know what I'm doing, hey.
(audio squeaking)
There we go.
So you want to level them off
and then we're gonna pop them back into the freezer
for another 10 minutes or so.
You can actually freeze these for like a month.
You just want to add five minutes onto the baking time
when we get to baking.
But,
10 minutes in the freezer now.
Like with most things gay,
there's a lot of prep involved.
And then it's all very quick when it actually happens.
So, all the preps done, now we wait.
(TV broadcast beep)
So while they're chilling down,
we're gonna get the coulis out of the fridge
and we're gonna use that to make some penta-whatsits.
Penta...
Pentagrams.
Hail Satan.
(audio squeaking)
(loud clattering)
Everything is fine.
(Micheal laughs)
(Michael laughs in slow motion)
(Michael laughs in slower motion)
It's fine.
(Michael laughs)
I got excited and tripped over everything.
It's okay.
We've got our coulis in here.
It's probably thickened up just a wee bit, which is lovely.
Now you could pipe this if you wanted it to,
I'm just gonna use a spoon,
because I think it makes it look
a bit more like bloody and gory, a little bit less neat.
So you want to get like a wee bit of coulis on your spoon,
lob it on, and then you kind of drag it to make a star.
Like that.
I think stars have five points.
I think?
Couldn't tell you for certain,
but we're gonna go with it.
(audio squeaking)
Pentagram!
That's what witches like, isn't it?
What does that do?
Summons the devil I think?
Weaselly devil hasn't been summoned in 2020,
I don't know who fucking has been.
(audio squeaking)
It's a bit of a squint star, does it matter?
Is the devil picky about the shape of the star that he gets?
It's still technically a star.
The devil needs to get over himself, personally.
Give it a go, worship Satan, 2021.
What could go wrong?
What hasn't already gone wrong?
(audio squeaking)
Now keep your coulis out for the foreseeable.
And it's time to preheat your oven to 180 degrees fan.
Or if it's not fan, that's 200 degrees
and then you've got a gas mark, I don't know,
use Google and get a new oven.
So the puddings have been in the freezer
for about 10 minutes,
we're gonna pop them straight into the oven
and they're gonna stay in there
for about 10 minutes until the edges are sullen,
they kinda pull away from the sides.
You don't want it to be fully baked.
So no cracks on top.
Cracks are often a good thing,
but in this instance, no cracks please.
If you're baking from frozen,
look at 15 minutes rather than 10.
There we are, lovely.
Look, see?
Nice and firm.
Spread them out just the wee bit
and into the oven they go for 10 minutes.
The pudding's been in the freezer for about 10 minutes,
so we're gonna check they're still firm on top
before putting in the oven.
And they're gonna go in the oven
for 10 minutes at 180 degrees fan,
which means that's about 400 degrees Fahrenheit
or if you're still using gas marks, number one, why?
Number two, it's gas mark six.
If you're cooking from frozen,
leave them in for about 15 minutes.
And we're just waiting for them to kind of start
to peel away from the edges.
But still have a little bit of a wobble on top.
Don't know what that means.
So the thing with these cakes
is you can under or overbake them really quickly.
Don't worry, they'll still be delicious,
but it's like how much bleeding you're gonna get
from the middle, you just don't know.
So I've got 20 seconds left on my cakes.
I'm gonna go and have a look.
I'm gonna get one of them out
and tip it over and see how it looks.
If that one looks good, I'll get the rest out.
If it doesn't look good, I'll leave them in.
I think that makes sense.
Let's go.
One cake.
I need to work out how to get this upside down.
Oh, oh!
Oh!
Okay.
Gonna pop it onto the thing.
And I need to get this off.
(Michael softly shouts)
Ah!
It's hot!
And now we have it.
Let me get that fork and let's see.
Let's see how that works.
Bleeding in the middle.
There we go.
A bleeding, melt in the middle, chocolate fondant.
Ooh, that's good.
We're gonna get the other ones out.
(audio squeaking)
Oh!
The best one yet.
Moment of truth.
Let's make 'em bleed.
Oh yes.
There we go.
And now we have it, a chocolate...
What is it called?
A bleeding chocolate fondant.
Yes, please.
Into my mouth.
Oh, Hot!
Oh!
This is hot!
A little for you Ambrose?
No?
Okay.
We'll talk about that after.