- I can't see myself getting too, too,
too big headed or get into beside myself,
because like I said,
I just, I come from a really dark place.
When I think back on all the things that I've been through,
physical, emotional, mental, sexual abuse,
I'm supposed to be a different person.
And I think a lot of people when they meet me
and I share my story and my experiences,
they look at me like a fucking unicorn.
'Cause it's like,
why are you not this bitter jaded individual?
And sometimes I can find myself being jaded,
but for the most part, I'm a very like just grounded person.
I've been through hell and high water,
but I'm here and I look beautiful and I feel beautiful.
So, originally would Beating Down Yo Block,
it's already a song.
I know a lot of people don't really know that,
but it's already one of those Houston staple songs.
It's a song called, Knocking Pictures Off the Wall
by this artist's named Youngster.
I was post breakup, I was going through a really, really,
really nasty breakup with this really nasty nigga.
It was just like, I was trying to channel that energy.
I needed something to lift my spirits.
When I'm writing the song,
it was just like, I had all of that in mind.
And I talked about this in a previous interview
and he was super, fucking mad.
So now I really gotta talk about it.
Initially, what I said was slapped the booboo at a nigga,
if he acting like a fool,
'cause you know, like booboo the fool.
But when I ran it by a couple of people,
they weren't really fucking with that.
So I was like, okay, let's go back to the drawing board,
and then that's how I came up with slapped
the shit out of it, which is still accurate.
Well, let me not say it's accurate
'cause I'm not really like,
I'm not, you know, I don't hit men.
You know what I'm saying?
Like that's not my fucking vibe.
Like I'm too much of a cool bitch
to put my hands on a nigga.
I've ran a nigga over before,
but it was because he jumped out of my car,
and he's fine now,
his leg is a little fucked up, but he's good.
But other than that, I'm just, I'm not,
I don't put my hands on niggas like that
that's some that's some shit that I don't do for real.
Back when I was in elementary,
middle high school, I was super outcast.
It's super fucking weird.
Nobody really just understood me.
So, obviously what comes with being misunderstood,
you have conflict.
And so I got into it with a lot of people.
I didn't beat up enough bitches in my day.
I'm not saying that I can't be beat up
'cause shit, hell who knows.
But I didn't beat up a lot of bitches in my day for sure.
When I think about, you know,
when I used to have to sleep on couches
or you know just even with just growing up obviously
just being financially challenged,
I'm filled with gratitude because now the situation
obviously is the polar opposite.
You know, I'm taking care of in I can.
You know, and in a position
where I can kind of help my mom out sometimes.
So I'm just grateful that I even had those experiences
because I now know how to be humble.
I'm a sweetheart.
I'm a genuine sweetheart. I love everybody.
I try to extend as much love and light
and positivity as I possibly can.
But at the same time,
no bitch or nigga is being play with me.
At least not now and never again for the rest of my life.
Like I just, I'm not letting shit those slide,
but I'm still a sweetheart.
I'm still a very good person at heart. It's just like,
sometimes you just gotta let a know you can't play with me.
Whose fucking with this little nigga who was in jail.
He was real piss off that I wouldn't put no money.
You know what I'm saying? I wouldn't put money on his bond.
Chances are, if a nigga is in jail
and I granted should be happening all the time,
like I understand things happen,
especially with black men in general and a lot of things are
out of their control.
And I completely understand that and I'm not oblivious or
naive to that shit that'd be
going on in the world in general.
But when it comes to shit like, nigga you got caught up
cause you was selling weed or some old
extra that shit I probably chances are,
I told you not to do it.
And now you fucking end up in jail,
looking dumb, stupid, and slow.
And now you want me to come spend my hard earned money that
I worked for to come and bond you the fuck out
just for you to turn back around and go to jail.
Hell no, fuck no.
So yeah. I definitely said what the fuck I said.
Nigga was mad about that shit too.
They was like, oh wow.
She now lawyer, who the, fuck it.
If that's what you want to call it,
then shit, so be it.
I'm going to keep my 5,000 or whatever,
however much money I'm going to keep that shit in my pocket.
And nigga just know how to figure that shit out.
He's going to have to figure it out too bad.
I can't fuck with niggas that ain't got hoes.
'Cause it just, it gets too tricky.
I needed to be a niggas one and only, his priority.
The thing that he drops everything to, you know, to run in,
tend to that's that's the type of time that I'm on.
Anything that I asked for, I can reciprocate.
I'm kind of like a hopeless romantic.
So I be ready and willing to really
just show nigga the world,
but a nigga gotta be ready and willing to do the same.
When I say P bitch,
I'm really talking about being a play a bitch like,
it's some down south shit. So, when I say being a P bitch,
it just means like, you can't play with me.
You think you rent a game on me the whole time I'm running
the same game back on you. So that's what I mean,
when I say I'm going to play a bitch.
Niggas be getting it fucked up.
They think that they can like sneakily like,
you know what I'm saying?
Like case in point was fucking with this one nigga.
It ain't cool.
He's cool.
But fuck with this one nigga
and he has some shit going on and was trying to
fake like the shit wasn't going on.
And you know what I'm saying?
Just did he think I knew what the fuck was going on?
So, I had the shit I had to show the nigga
this ain't that.
So should I call one of my other little niggas,
whose at the club who called one of my other little niggas,
the other nigga pulled up, walked into section weed.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm hugging up on the other nigga
in front of the nigga just to let them
know, nigga you can't play with me.
When you say you breaking a nigga,
that means you really breaking this pocket.
Like you getting out in his pockets,
the nigga handing over his rent money and most shit.
See, I had to be like that.
Like I said, I was with a nigga for a long time,
and you know, throughout our whole relationship,
it was just me breaking my back constantly,
just breaking my back, trying to make shit work,
pulling rabbits out of hats just to, you know,
appeal to this nigga.
And I realized after that relationship, that shit,
I didn't have to do that.
And it wasn't until I started having my way
with the niggas for real,
that I had to realize and understand.
I don't have to do all that extra shit
for a nigga to fuck with me.
Women, we got, we just have to understand that.
I just had to let it be known.
Like, I'm having my way with these niggas.
Initially when I was writing this song,
I didn't feel confident,
but I was trying to instill confidence inside of me.
And so part of the things that I was dealing with just had
just dealing with body dysmorphia, growing up, you know,
I do this thing where I it's called camouflaging and I just
wear big baggy clothes, sometimes.
Especially around that time,
I was in a super deep depressive hole.
So I was wearing super big baggy clothes
that really didn't fit, hiding my figure, hiding my shape.
Because I was insecure about being small.
So when I started that line, it was I'm fine.
Slim waist, pretty face.
He know I'm a dime.
It was like I had to speak it back into myself.
You know how, when you first break up with a nigga,
everybody is asking where the nigga is at.
Cause they don't see him no more.
I didn't really feel comfortable,
just kind of letting everybody know
what was really going on.
I just was like,
shit don't ask me about that nigga no more.
He ain't coming around.
Just leave it at that.
And then obviously later on down the line,
when I felt comfortable,
I opened up a little bit more about what was really going
on, but, shit I don't want to hear shit about that nigga.
As women, we try to change niggas and we try to get
niggas to be the perfect nigga for us.
When in reality we're just not compatible.
And so if a nigga can't get right,
he getting left and that's,
that's as simple as I can put it.
If a nigga can't get right
his ass getting left and I'm not gonna
switch you.
You crazy as fuck if you think I've been tripping
about you not getting right.
Do you see me nigga?
My greatest leadership traits,
I feel like I'm a very powerful
outspoken articulate individual.
And I think that that's intimidating for a lot of people.
They want women to be submissive and they want women to just
kind of like take the back burner.
But for me it was just like I'm ahead of the pack.
I'm on the forefront.
I'm taking all the hits because I can handle it.
At the time, my life was very dim.
Like I said, depressive hole in the bed, in my room,
never came out with very seldom ever even,
just eat consistently or drink water on a consistent
basis, taking showers and shit like that.
Just the things that you go through when you're dealing with
severe depression, I wasn't at all shining,
but I had to speak that over myself.
I had to give myself that hope
because I had really given up hope.
Shit, I was broke, piece poor.
And I just, I was trying to figure it out.
But now we're here and I'm so grateful.
Literally, I'm so grateful.
I'm not gonna cry. I'm such a cry baby.
I'm literally feel like I'm going to cry.
I think my, my favorite part of it all is just,
like I said, seeing people be able to listen to this song
and it kind of turned their mood around.
So, it's something that's really personal for a lot of
people, especially the women that I post breakup,
especially abusive relationships, because like I said,
this was the song that helped me get through the trauma and
everything that came with being in an abusive relationship.
And so a lot of women listen to this song and they feel the
same way. You know, a lot of people reach out to me,
I'm going through you know a breakup with my abusive ex
and this song is really helping me get to
the other side of things.
And that is my favorite part.