-I only thought Tyler Perry got a standing ovation.
That's very sweet of you.
-No, they love you. Yeah.
-I love you, too. We love you. Welcome back.
-Tyler Perry is actually my son's favorite comedian.
-He is? -He is, yeah.
My son loves big, large women
who bash people over the head and yell at them.
I swear to you, I said to him once,
I said, "Are you funny like daddy?"
He goes, "No, I'm funny like Madea.
[ Laughter ]
-He's the greatest, right? -Ah, he's all right.
I'll -- I'll keep him.
-[ Laughs ] "I'll keep him."
No, not your son. Tyler Perry.
-Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
-Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're a very, very busy man.
It's a very great show, "The Jim Jefferies show."
But you're also doing standup all over the place as well.
So you're very -- do you have a favorite spot to do?
-I don't think that comedy is different town to town.
I think audiences are the same. Funny is funny.
But, like, My favorite place to play
just for fun, Vegas. Yeah.
-Oh, really? -I love Vegas!
Love Vegas!
-Where do you play in Vegas?
-I now play at the Mirage.
I used to play at the Hard Rock.
One time I was at the Hard Rock, and did this thing,
it was like a 5,000 seat sort of room, this rock club.
And they said to me -- my show started at 8:00,
and they said you have to be off stage by 9:30.
Now, I have opening acts, my show is an hour 40,
So was like, "I can't do it." I can't be off by 9:30."
They go, "There's a band on after you."
And I said, "I don't give a F what band is on after me.
I'm the main thing of the night. I don't care.
The band can wait."
They went, "It's Guns N' Roses."
And I went, "All right, I'll be off by 9:30." Right?
[ Laughter ] -Exactly.
-Anyway, so I'm on stage, people paid good money
so I'm trying to act like my show is running
a bit longer than it is.
So when I get to like the hour 20 mark,
I'm checking my watch like, Oh, I've got to be off.
I've got to be off. Oh, I'll give you 10 more minutes.
I'll give you 10 more minutes." I was lying.
I was going to finish on time,
and then I said a joke like, Ah, [bleep]
It's not like Axl Rose has ever left me
waiting for a gig." Right?
'Cause is renownedly always late.
-Notorious. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
-Afterwards, I get off stage,
I get back to the dressing room.
Now there's an NHL hockey player.
I won't say who he is, but he just won
the Stanley Cup that year and he was partying.
He was backstage with a bag of magic mushrooms.
And I --
[ Laughter ]
I don't know if they test good.
'cause it can't be performance-enhancing, surely.
[ Laughter ]
He think he's playing NFL, throwing a pick
-Yeah, he has no idea what he's doing.
-So I just took a handful of mushrooms
and ate those, as you do.
I was already drunk, and then afterwards,
because I'm a good guy, right?
I took photos with all my fans, right.
So there was a lineup of about 400 people taking photos.
At about the 30 minute mark, the mushrooms kicked in,
and my fans started to look like a bunch of lizards.
And so I was like, "No, no, I can't.
I ca-- I can't be doing this any more."
-Nah, I can't do this. I'm done.
-They was like, Jim stopped signing.
I was like scared and I ran away into a corner.
Anyway, I took some more mushrooms...
-Geez, this is bad advice.
-And they may or may not have been cocaine
because there always is. There was a lot --
there was a lot of [bleep] going on, Jimmy.
-Yeah, yeah. Okay.
-So -- so later on...
[ Laughter ]
I get invited up to this party in someone's suite.
I go up, and there's just like women having sex
on the bar, there's just people having sex,
people doing drugs openly and stuff like that,
lizards mostly doing drugs.
And I'm walking -- I'm walking around
just spaced out out of me head
just talking to a pole or something. I'm not sure.
And then this big guy comes up to me and go,
"Mr. Rose wants to speak to you."
Right? And I'm like --
'Cause the Guns N' Roses concert already finished.
I've been up at this party for a while.
I get taken into a room, and Axl Rose is sitting on
the edge of the bed, and I walk in
mashed out of my head.
And I sit down. There's Axl Rose.
He goes, "Hey, um..."
'Cause he does that -- he still sort of have that switch.
[ Laughter ]
-He's -- he's snaking you.
-I'm still cool, right?
But -- but he's sort of...
He comes out, and I sit next to him on the bed.
And I'm trying to do that thing that you do
when you're drunk and you come home
and your parents ask if you're drunk.
You're like, "No, I'm good.
I'm good." I'm good."
So I sat down next to Axl Rose like this.
And he goes, "Hey, man, not a lot of people know
that I'm a comedy enthusiast."
He said comedy enthusiast.
Who says that? -Fantastic. I love this.
-But he's a comedy enthusiast.
And he goes -- he goes,
"I watched your show this evening.
It was really great. I really enjoyed it.
But it's being completely overblown about how many times
I showed up late for gigs." Right?
He was offended by me teasing him.
And I just became like a child.
And I went, "No offense meant, Mr. Rose.
I'm sorry, Mr. Rose." -Mr. Rose?
-Yeah.
To be honest, there was a lot of drugs.
It just could have been a red-headed girl.
I'm not sure.
Anyway...
You never met Axl Rose at all.
-I don't know. I don't know.
But I apologized, "Sorry, Mr. Rose.
Won't happen again, Mr. Rose. Sorry."
And then as I went -- I said can I have a photo?
His bodyguard goes, "Mr. Rose doesn't take photos."
I said I'm so sorry.
Then I went to leave, then Axl Rose went,
"Yeah, come on, we can have a photo.
And I think we have the photo.
-Here it is.
-That's a guy holding his [bleep] together.
That's what that is.
[ Cheers and applause ]
That's -- [ Laughs ]
-Wow! Wow!
That is unbelievable. Unbelievable.
-And not well.
Those red eyes aren't from the camera.
That's legitimate red eye problem I got going there.
-You have red eyeballs.
Dude, congrats. Season 2 starts Tuesday.
Are you excited about this? -We're excited.
We've already filmed the field pieces and stuff like that.
We're getting back to talking about Donald Trump
doing stupid tweets, you know.
That job is pretty much the same, right.
-Yeah. -It's pretty much the same.
-You do a great job, man.
-Except I don't get Cookie on my show.
At no stage does Cookie was walk out.
-Exactly, yeah. Exactly.
We get Coo- Taraji comes on our show.
-Yeah. -She's not on your show.
-I'm sitting backstage feeling confident, going,
"I can beat Tyler Perry.
I've got a good story about Axl Rose.
Everything is going to be fine."
Then I went, "Ah [bleep] he's got Cookie."
[ Laughter ]
I can't -- I can't beat Cookie.
-Can't beat Cookie, no -Can't beat Cookie.