Weird choice.
Well, I guess it did come out 20 years ago, this summer.
Good enough for me.
You know their names.
You know their faces.
And when the two of them switch,
you know they're gonna get off.
"(sighs in relief)"
_
One cop will do whatever it takes to take down the man who killed his son.
By cutting his rival's face off.
Putting that face on his own face.
Doing absolutely nothing to change his body.
Healing instantly from this massive surgery.
Telling no one what he did.
Going undercover in a prison where everyone wears magnet boots.
Gaining the trust of his Muppet voiced brother.
"Bye, bro. Drop me a line sometime."
"(quiet chuckles)"
Getting high.
And maybe porking his rival's girlfriend.
All the while hoping his rival doesn't wake from a coma.
Put his face on his body.
Pork his wife with his face.
Kill his boss.
And challenge him to a deadly speedboat fight.
Forcing him to harpoon him with a spear gun.
And adopt his love child to replace the similar-looking son,
he killed five years ago.
It all makes perfect sense,
if you're on a lot of cocaine.
Prepare for the match-up you didn't know you were waiting for.
John Travolta vs Nicolas Cage,
two Oscar worthy actors,
who turned into jokes.
Made the effort to become Oscar worthy again.
Then realize it's way more fun to be ridiculous.
In this script that makes slightly more sense,
when you find out it was written for Schwarzenegger and Stallone.
Aw man, that would've been awesome. But at least we got,
Escape Plan?
"Say cheese."
Ehh...
If you love action,
director John Woo, has something for you.
As Woo woos you with his signature D'S.
Dives.
Dual wielding.
"(Gun shots)"
And doves.
As you enjoy action set pieces that never stop.
Until they stop to point their guns at each other.
Dramatically.
"What we don't have in common."
Shoot!
"Is that I don't care if I live. And you do."
And shoot!
"That hurts."
Shoot now!
"(chuckling)
Hoo hoo..."
Now shoot!
Shoot!
And shoot!
Shoot, damn it!
Shoot each other in your faces!
Witness the over the top craziness of two actors,
playing other actors pretending to be themselves.
I think?
Where Nic Cage acts like John Travolta learning to act like Nic Cage.
While John Travolta acts like Nic Cage,
slowly realizing how boring it is to be John Travolta.
"This is turning into a real marriage."
Confused? Don't worry.
So is everyone else.
"I'm Castor Troy!"
"You're Sean Archer!"
"Sean Archer."
"I am Castor Troy."
"I'm Sean."
"I'm me...
Not me. Me."
"I'm Castor.
That's Archer."
"And I'm bored."
So if you love body swap comedies like Freaky Friday.
But wish everyone was trying to kill each other.
Then Face/Off is the only movie crazy enough from 96 to 97 for you.
Except maybe Con Air.
Or The Rock.
Wow! What a crazy couple years for action movies, huh?
And by action movies. I mean Nic Cage.
"Wooooo!"
"Aaahhhh!"
"No more drugs for that man."
_
"My peach."
"You know I can, uh... Eat a peach for hours."
"Your little peach, is she ripe?"
"Remember me? I'm your favorite peach."
"Peach."
"Peaches."
_
(Multiple shots of John Travolta's doing the weird face-touching habit on people)
"My darling, my beautifully, my wickedly talented, Idina Menzel."
_
"You know we've been living together as man and wife for a week."
How does she not know it was her husband's face on a new body?
Did they switch dongs, too?
Because Dong/Off is a very different movie.
_