-Holidays coming up.
Will you spend Thanksgiving with your family?
-Yes. We celebrate. We go to the beach in North Carolina.
My brother David bought us a house,
which we call "The Sea Section." [ Laughter ]
And we do a -- we do a Mediterranean Thanksgiving,
´cause my dad´s 94, and we´re Greek.
And so now we just make a big Greek --
-And any family traditions, other than the Mediterranean?
-Yes. [ Laughs ]
I turn the living room into spa night,
and I give everybody a facial. -[ Laughing ] Okay.
-And I hire my sister in-law, who does all the work,
and I´m very abusive to her. [ Laughter ]
It´s just for "entertainment." -Yeah.
-And I never give her a cut of the money.
-Okay.
-And then my niece helps me with the invitations.
And everyone just complains. -Oh, that´s wonderful.
-You know what I mean? [ Laughter ]
-But then, they´re sound asleep by the end of the night,
and I really don´t know what I´m doing.
But, I mean, you know,
I have good skin in my family. -Yeah.
-No one ever moisturizes, you know?
-Uh-huh. -So...
-Right. They want -- They want that tape nose skin.
-Yeah, they want the tape nose skin.
-[ Laughing ] Yeah. -So I love doing it. It´s great.
-Do you have any tips on entertaining
during the holidays -- do you -- when you have people over?
-Well, I always say, you know, just be prepared.
And, you know, there will be some accidents.
But just take a Polaroid picture of it
and laugh at it in a few years. [ Light laughter ]
But I always hate it when you go to someone´s house
and they invite you for Thanksgiving
and you walk in
and the raw Turkey is sitting out on the counter.
You´re like, "Damn it. I don´t want to be here for five hours!"
-[ Laughs ] Right. -That´s not fair.
-No, it´s not. No. -That is not fair.
And then you´re -- they just encourage you to drink,
and then they have cheese balls and snacks,
and then you´re stuffed. -That´s the problem --
my biggest -- and I hold myself accountable.
The amount of, like, early dairy you eat on Thanksgiving.
-Of early dairy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Like, you know, it´s like... -Yes.
-..."Oh, dinner´s gonna be ready in two -- two hours."
And you´re like, "Well, then, I´ll eat a pound of cheese,
and then I´ll be very happy."
[ Laughter ]
"I´ll be in a great mood later on."
-Yes, you´re so right. It is a pound of cheese.
-You -- I hear that you --
you keep things in your fridge that are not food
that you then gift?
-Oh, I like to have some artwork in my refrigerator.
-Okay, so why -- why -- why?
-Because, "A," it´s always nice when you open your refrigerator
and you see that cut-off hand --
you know, you get them at Halloween stores.
It´s just a hand that´s cut off,
but they -- they wrap it really nice.
It´s like from Chop Shop or something -- that name´s bad.
But it´s in nice Saran Wrap.
And then I have a nice --
-So that´s just a thing that you have
that you want other people to see, or you take joy?
-Well, I showed it to my godson, and I saw the look on his face,
and I just -- just changed the subject.
-Yeah. [ Light laughter ]
-He was -- Yeah, that was not cool.
I mean, yeah. -That wasn´t -- yeah.
And that´s not something he can unsee.
-No, I moved it to the freezer. It´s cool.
[ Laughter ] Yeah, but it is nice
when you open it up, and you can see artwork.
I have a nice fake milk carton.
I have some fake butter boxes that I made.
-Oh, wow. -Yeah.
-And it doesn´t -- it doesn´t take up valuable fridge space?
-No. -Oh, that´s good.
-I just have lettuce in there for Tina, really.
[ Laughter ] -Okay, great.
Well, I don´t know how to tell you this,
based on her carpet... -Thanks.
-...but I don´t know if she loves lettuce.
[ Laughter ]
-I know, really high piles.
-So you -- you´ve been on a lot of television shows.
This is the first time you are running your own show.
-Yes. -I have -- Do you love it?
-I liked it, but it was like --
you know, well, first thing, doing all those characters,
I realized, "Wow," you know.
I didn´t realize I had to memorize
both sides of the script. -Yeah.
-You know what I mean? So that was like --
- Right, ´cause you interact with the characters themselves.
-Right. Then I´m like, "Oh, what was I thinking?"
But you know what I learned most?
I´m not kidding -- it´s this e-mail etiquette...
-Okay. -...you know, that people have.
I just learned how to "reply all."
[ Light laughter ]
Or, you know, whose name goes first.
And people pay attention to that stuff.
It never even entered my mind to think about that kind of stuff.
-What -- Like, how -- What do you mean about "reply all"?
You never had any reason until you had your own show?
-I just reply. I don´t reply all.
And then, I hate it when people reply all,
and then you open your e-mail, it´s like, "K,"
or, "Thanks. Awesome." [ Light laughter ]
I mean, don´t bother me. -Yeah.
-My mom´s motto was, "Don´t bother other people."
-In general? -I think that´s a good --
Yeah, don´t bother other people.
-Is that -- Was that something when you were kids?
-How excited you are, like there´s something deep.
-Well, no. No, I don´t mean there´s something deep,
but, like, as kids,
were you under instructions not to be a bother to people?
-Well, no. We -- My mom --
Yeah, you just don´t bother other --
We could bother each other, I guess,
and we could bother our parents. We just don´t bother.
You know, like, when someone comes to your house
and they say, "Do you have any scissors?"
It´s like, "You know I do." [ Laughter ]
I have a craft book out. Just ask me where they are.
Don´t ask me if I have them there.
It just puts me in a bad mood. -Yeah.
-And I want to stab them with it, you know?
-Right. [ Laughter ]
Well, I have another one that I can tell you...
-Oh. -...is when people say,
"Can I ask you a question?" -Oh, yeah.
-´Cause that´s already a question.
-Yes, yes, right. [ Light laughter ]
-So they´ve already taken the leap of asking me a question.
-Yeah, right.
-Or else they wouldn´t have said it.
-And then you ask it, and then they say, "No, you cannot ask."
And you´re just, "All right.
That´s some Whitney Houston..." you know.
And she does that in the documentary.
-Oh, she does? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Oh, that´s great. -It´s a great documentary.
-The Whitney Houston documentary?
-Yeah, it´s fun. -Is it recent?
-Yeah, it´s recent. -Okay.
-And the George Michael one. I´m in documentary mode.
-The George Michael one, I´ve heard, is fantastic.
-Yeah, it really is. -Yeah.
-I think they leave some stuff out, but I guess you have to.
-Yeah.
-But I like it because it´s about a singer, you know?
They´re just out there, by themselves, performing.
That´s interesting. But I guess you do it every night.
-Not like George Michael or Whitney Houston.
-Okay. Come on. Come on. [ Laughter ]
-No, just on a talent level, like, that´s the thing.
People who said they watched the George Michael documentary
were overwhelmed by how -- exactly how talented he was.
-Yeah, and how ambitious. -Yeah.
-Like when you´re little, be like, "I want to be a big star."
-Yeah. I guess I wouldn´t --
I feel like I´d be less interested
in watching a documentary about comedians.
-Right, right, right. -Because then I would --
anybody who said, like --
Any time I would see somebody working really hard,
I´d be like, "Oh, I should work harder."
-[ Laughing ] I know, right? -Whereas, like, when I --
when you watch Whitney Houston or George Michael and be like,
"Oh, I never had that voice."
I would never, yeah. -Yeah.
Wow, what a voice. -Yeah.
-What a voice.
-Also, he´s somebody who I did not quite understand --
you know, when he sadly passed away,
I had no sense of what a wonderful person he was.
-Yeah, same here.
-I feel like I´d missed all that,
and then I felt really bad, but also, you know,
very impressed with the kind of guy he was.
-Right. Plus, he passed away on Christmas Day.
-I didn´t realize that. -Mm-hmm.
Christmas Day. -Well --
-I guess last year. -Yeah.
-But you´re gonna --
Your parents are coming in town for Thanksgiving?
-My parents are gonna come to town.
They´re gonna be on this show on Thursday.
-Okay, and then will you go to New Hampshire
to have Thanksgiving?
-No, they´re gonna stay here in the city.
-Oh, will you go to a restaurant, or you gonna cook?
-No, we´re gonna have them at our apartment.
-Oh, and you´re gonna cook, or did you --
-My wife´s gonna cook. -Are you gonna do anything?
-I´m not gonna do anything... -Okay, that´s okay.
-...because I´m doing a show, yeah.
-Oh, oh, oh, oh. [ Laughter ]
So you´re not gonna do anything ahead of time,
or when you get home, you have one thing to do?
-I -- -Nothing. You´re off the hook.
-I feel like the way you´re saying this
makes me feel really bad about it,
and I´m gonna try to -- -No, no.
I think that´s great. I´m not doing any cooking.
I´m not gonna do anything, either, you know?
-I know, but I will. I´ll try to find one thing.
Maybe I´ll bring, like,
a cheese ball or something. [ Laughter ]