Matt: What's up man? In this podcast episode online dating coaches at The Attractive
Man, Kal, Lynn, and myself will show you how to optimize your online dating profiles
such as Tinder or Bumble to get a lot more matches. Because let's face it man,
it flat-out sucks when you're endlessly swiping and you get very few matches or
you're just matching with women that you're not really attracted to think
about how nice it would be to open up the app and see 50 matches instead of
just two or three we'll also show you how to pick the best online dating
profile picture so that when beautiful women see it they'll be instantly
intrigued and the wanna swipe right and how to use the look of desire technique
to appear like a confident high-value man and make women instantly attracted
to you because remember man you have to compete against all the other guys on
tinder and there's a lot of competition so you've got to stand out from all the
other guys and in today's episode Cal Lin and myself will show you how many
welcome to the attractive man podcast where we help men become better men in
these episodes you'll discover how to improve your dating and relationships
how to break through your mental limits that are holding you back and how to
move through life with confidence and purpose
I'm your host Matt artisan how important are pictures particularly the first main
picture compared to the other pictures and compared to the bio would you say it
really depends on what vibe you're giving off and how you're making her
feel so the energy in your photos are very very important you can be an
average or even slightly below average but if you have that confidence if you
have that passion in your eyes you can attract a lot more women than you
probably expect it's interesting that you mentioned the eyes because that's
something I've been thinking about a lot lately I used to think it's all about
like the status right which i think is conveyed in your eyes but I always
thought it was more about like what I'm doing in the pictures that's gonna like
win her over or like oh he's in Egypt he's travelling he's been to exotic
places he's you know on stage playing guitar or whatever but what we teach in
our boot camps is the look of desire right it's one of
the things we teach and how to give her that look it's almost like a look of
confidence and swagger but also like I know I could have you I know I could
give you the utmost desire if you're so lucky and actually conveying that same
look through your eyes in your online dating profile is that what you're
talking about absolutely I think a lot of people think
oh as long as I have a photo of me in front of Machu Picchu or something
impressive or they're showing off that they're traveling or a couple of years
ago it was petting a tiger then I'm gonna win her over I'm gonna look it's
gonna look very impressive and I've seen it I've actually worked
with the private client a couple days ago we were going over his tinder
profile and he was very proud of his photos because it's his photos were
impressive in the kind of accomplishments that he was showing off
but almost in every photo it looked like he was almost timid he was holding back
he one of the photos he just ran a marathon and he was holding up the his
number and it was like he was making himself look small so that photo
actually was doing him a disservice I actually but I advised him to remove
that photo because it didn't show that he was proud and sure that he had that
that hunger for life I didn't showed it he wasn't afraid to be seen yes I've got
it I didn't it was it was like he was making himself very like he almost
wanted to disappear and that vibe gives so much to lemon so I always advise I
rather you have complete presence and complete confidence in the way that you
your stance and the way that you're looking into the lens versus you doing
something just to do it so you can have a photo moment or photo opportunity
which which I think is good news for guys because you can take a couple weeks
or just maybe even a few days a weekend and just practice we don't need to go to
some exotic destination just practice that look practice those stances those
that body language they convey so much I definitely think that it's important to
have the right body language and have a good quality photo that like shows your
confidence but at the same time if we go back to the idea of social proof
and and status I think the idea of status for many men they always think of
like doctors or lawyers and what I've come to know is that every woman I talk
to has a different idea of what status is like to some women they are after a
doctor they are after a lawyer they are after that some women aren't some women
like to party and they're into that vibe so it's really about presenting what
kind of woman you want like whatever status and social proof you're
presenting that's what you're gonna get at the end of the day so you really have
to think about that I agree and I think also one thing that is not commonly
known as when social proof also conveys in your social friends and in the
gatherings and the group photos that you're presenting the people that you're
showing in your photos they're gonna represent you and the the person that's
looking at your photos is going to look at who you're hanging out with another
additional tip is as a man if you're gonna have photos when in a group
setting with other women that actually heightens your social status because it
shows okay here's a guy that actually has friends with higher caliber females
he can he can get them he's not desperate and eager and has no female
friends at all it actually triggers our competitiveness it's kind of like the I
always say it's the rooster and the chickens and the hens we look at these
other one like oh no okay I see I see what we're in for
I'm going after this it makes them even more attractive yeah definitely not you
Cal you're probably gonna say this but make sure it's not your ex-girlfriend oh
that too and I was also gonna say don't make every photo you with a bunch of
women because then that's just gonna put off a vibe like oh this guy's a player
this guy just trying to have sex or whatever and also it comes off more
needy if you only have pictures of you and women because it's like oh look I
have women instead like you know you want to have pictures with your friends
you want to have pictures of you alone you want to have pictures of women you
want to hit every scenario right you want to have a complete life basically
I love that Cal and I agree what I always like to say is what we just
discussed is the profiles I'm sorry the photos are the most importance of the
essential part of representing yourself online and on these dating apps so you
want to put the most emphasis and when she scrolling through her photos you
really want to give a visual story book or a storyline of your life you want to
show that you are an interesting guy that is about all different kinds of
things and that's complex and that's exciting if you keep on showing the same
image for not the same management you keep on showing the same style just in
different situations it gets not only a little bit boring for her but it also
makes it easy for her to sum you up so for example if all of your photos are
you partying or rock-and-roll she's gonna look at your photos go to okay
yeah I can figure him out I know what he's about he's a rocker next or maybe
that's what she's about but you want to make it very difficult for her to
pigeonhole you or to categorize you and you want to incite that intrigue from
her like oh my gosh he he has a photo of him in a suit there's a photo of him
with his friends there's a photo of him doing something adventurous and athletic
and then there was a photo of him being affectionate with his animals I can't
really put my thumb on it what what is he about I'm interested now you're not
tiger king oh no no Tiger king no Joe exotic over here no Tiger King photos
those are out hey you can make her laugh with them i photoshopped actually my
face to a tiger King photo with Joe exotic and I was sending those pictures
out that's funny it was funny it was like like everyone's watching it so it
triggered people to respond so yeah it's relevant by the way guys if
you're not already subscribed to this channel what are you doing hit that
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thing because we have a lot of tips videos podcasts out videos like this one
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miss them yeah I think that's a really important Lin
is it makes the guy seem more mysterious and more of a multi-dimensional man like
he's very well-rounded I like that I like those examples that you gave like
one picture he's wearing a suit the other one he's like playing guitar and
then there's one with the dog and there's one with the baby there's one
skydiving and then there's one near the Eiffel Tower it's like oh he does
everything he's into this it he's into that and I think that that definitely
makes the guy more interesting and I think what's what's also important that
you said that you both touched on is that concept of status when it comes to
your pictures and a lot of guys we see a picture of us and we look at the face
and we're like oh this looks pretty good I'm gonna throw this up there or this
looks good because I'm with a tiger or I'm traveling or whatever but we don't
think about how we're really coming off like does this picture make you look
confident because that's gonna be way more important versus the tiger or the
Eiffel Tower in the background is like do you look confident I see a lot of
guys pictures where they look kind of closed off you know bad body language
and or you can just see it in their eyes they're not really having fun like a lot
of us I think guys more than girls we get very awkward in front of the camera
to me it seems like girls are always taking pictures and you know they love
taking pictures all the time I always forget to take pictures even
when I'm doing cool things like it's just not something that's always on my
mind I think like a lot of women so I think a lot of guys can relate to that
so often times we get kind of awkward in front of the camera or maybe not awkward
but we're just not at our most confident self so I think one thing is just have
somebody a roommate a friend snap some pictures of you if you have a if you
have a if you know a photographer you can hire a photographer great you know
with a DSLR camera that's gonna be your best but second best would be an iPhone
which is pretty high up there almost in comparison and take like a hundred or
even more pictures you're probably gonna get one good picture out of a hundred
and and I also want to add to that is the selfie the question
of the zombie infinite no selfies yes yes yes so that I believe that there's a
little bit of a double standard here I believe that when the guys looking at a
girl's profile and he sees that she has a couple selfies he might roll his eyes
a little bit but it's not for the most part for most guys gonna be a deal
breaker however for a lot of girls if they see a guy with a lot of selfies or
selfies that especially the selfies are not flattering it's a little red flag
ish I'd say it can say a couple things that can say okay does this guy not have
a social group any friends or family around him that can take photos for him
does this guy not have anything exciting going on in his life where the food the
photos that he's putting up online because remember the photos that you're
putting up online should be the very best photos that you have ever so if one
of them is just a view looking a little blah in front of the bathroom that's
really the best photo so it again the girl might think okay does he not have
anything exciting going on his life where he has ample photos to choose from
and he chose this one and then the third one is okay so maybe this guy is just
very self-centered and conceited and just loves taking a lot of selfies so be
careful all the selfies there are some examples that it can work but for
example if you're doing something really cool and it's obvious that there is an
opportunity for someone to take a photo or if you really feel like you look
fantastic and you show confidence there are always exceptions but for the most
part I would say practice either putting if you don't have no one to take those
for you putting the photo up on something I mean put them up on
something a bookshelf or a tripod selfie stick and using the time where I think
that would look much better than the constant selfies or if you're with a
group of friends too I think that's okay like all your friends are like this but
yeah that's that's a really good point I love what you said that I don't know if
word for word now but you said basically this is the best of your life can you
repeat that do you remember what you said yeah so
when you're putting up these photos on your profile your shoot your picking and
choosing right and you're picking choosing from all the photos that you
have of yourself so they should be the best of the best and if one of them is
an unflattering photo of you doing a selfie it's like okay does this guy not
have a very exciting life where the most exciting that he has is the selfie of
himself in the bathroom I don't I don't want to sign up to that I don't want to
be with the guy that that this is what his life is about I want someone that
enjoys his life it's on an adventure that is is having fun someone that keeps
me on my toes that's a good point so guys look at your pictures on your
tinder profile or Bumble or whatever and ask yourself are these the best of the
best are these the best of your life by the way guys if you want Lin to
personally help you one-on-one and review your dating profile your online
profile and review your pictures and tell you which pictures are great which
pictures are working for you and which pictures are pushing women away that you
need to eliminate and what kind of pictures you need to go out and take as
well as critique your bio and your first messages that you're sending out help
you craft a new bio and a much better first message then make sure to click
the link in the description I'm gonna put a link for a full profile online
dating makeover with Lin because having a not just a woman but a female dating
coach who's an expert at online dating review your profile is absolutely
invaluable so take advantage of that and check out that link in the description
and listen guys if you want to be trained by myself Lin or cow then make
sure to check out our bootcamp schedule we'll put a link down in the description
and also hop on a free breakthrough call with one of our team members to see if
you qualify for life coaching and we'll also give you a ton of value on that
call that link is also in the description make sure to subscribe to
this channel for more dating tips and click that Bell notification icon
because we have a lot of awesome videos coming your way including infield video
breakdown so we're actually approaching live women and breaking down the entire
interaction make sure to follow me on instagram at matt artisan and send me
I would love to chat with you and leave a comment down in the description and
let us know what you thought of this video maybe other things that have
worked really well for you when it comes to online dating so you can help other
guys out because we can all learn from each other or things that you're
struggling with when it comes to online dating or any style of dating and we can
make a video about that my name is Matt artisan with Cal and Lynn from the
attractive man team and we'll see you in the next video
Cheers