HARRY CHEADLE: There's this line that Woody Allen uses to
open "Annie Hall." He says, "I'd never join a club that
would have someone like me as a member." And that's how I
feel about women, you know?
Like if there's a beautiful girl, who's into me, a real
dish, I think there's something wrong with her.
That's what dating is.
It's figuring out what's wrong with the other person and
going into each other's neuroses.
But how else are you supposed to find love?
My name is Harry, and I have been a loser
for most of my life.
I thought I was done with my awkward phase when "Vice"
hired me to write about politics, culture, and other
important world affairs, which should make me
cool, but it doesn't.
I'm still just a weird kid who creeps people out.
This is "All Around Losing with Harry Cheadle."
I don't know what's wrong with me exactly.
But lately--
and by lately, I mean the past few years--
I've been having trouble meeting women.
I mean, I can meet women OK.
I just have trouble going from the hi, my name is Harry
stage, to the let me get a condom stage.
So I'm on my way to talk to Blake Eastman, who teaches
people who are afraid of other people, like me, to figure out
how to date.
Hey, Blake.
BLAKE EASTMAN: Hey, Harry.
How are you?
Nice to meet you.
HARRY CHEADLE: Nice to meet you.
Are you ready to teach me how to use my body so I don't come
off like a weirdo?
BLAKE EASTMAN: Yeah.
All right, let's go.
HARRY CHEADLE: All right.
I mean, more broadly, I just want to know how to talk to
girls I've just met.
I go on a lot of online dates, you know?
So there's that moment, where you meet someone.
And you're trying to figure out do I want to have sex with
this person?
Do they want to have sex with me?
And, you know, I feel like they can pick up on my
nervousness.
BLAKE EASTMAN: I think it's an indication of anxiety for the
most part, or what's called soothing gestures, or
pacifying gestures, or self-rubbing.
Basically, they rub themselves to calm themselves down.
HARRY CHEADLE: OK.
BLAKE EASTMAN: The biggest one men do on a
first date is this.
HARRY CHEADLE: Oh, this.
BLAKE EASTMAN: I guarantee you do this.
HARRY CHEADLE: This.
Yeah.
BLAKE EASTMAN: Do you go out on dates with anxious people?
HARRY CHEADLE: Sometimes, you know, because I go on online
dates, so the people who are online dates can get kind of
weird sometimes.
BLAKE EASTMAN: You know the online pool is
contaminated, right?
HARRY CHEADLE: Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
BLAKE EASTMAN: I would challenge you to get the hell
off online dating, man.
HARRY CHEADLE: I'm thinking about doing this
speed dating event.
It's like three-minute interactions.
It's going to be like 20--
BLAKE EASTMAN: --how many?
20 three-minute interactions?
HARRY CHEADLE: Yeah, like in an hour.
I think that's what it is.
It's something like that.
So what kind of advice do you want to give
me to, like, make--
BLAKE EASTMAN: OK, so movement really works.
If you go, literally, like five or six
minutes before a date--
I mean, get there like 10 minutes early--
and go to the bathroom, or go wherever, and just start
throwing as many punches or jumping up and down--
HARRY CHEADLE: Like literally, like--
BLAKE EASTMAN: You know, I have no idea.
Literally, it will lower cortisol levels and increase
testosterone levels as you move.
So for example, get on the floor.
HARRY CHEADLE: What do you mean?
BLAKE EASTMAN: Push ups.
HARRY CHEADLE: Push ups?
BLAKE EASTMAN: Yeah, do push ups.
HARRY CHEADLE: OK.
All right, I'll do some push ups.
How many push ups do you want me to do?
BLAKE EASTMAN: Your push ups are bad.
HARRY CHEADLE: My push ups?
Well, I haven't done push ups that much.
BLAKE EASTMAN: Chest up.
Chest up.
HARRY CHEADLE: Chest up?
BLAKE EASTMAN: Yeah.
All right, good.
Get up now.
Now jump up and down.
HARRY CHEADLE: Just like this?
BLAKE EASTMAN: Yeah, but see, even your
jumping's not confident.
Like if you're gonna jump, start jumping.
Get excited about it, or something like--
HARRY CHEADLE: --like I'm excited about jumping, right?
BLAKE EASTMAN: Yeah, I still feel that you're
awkward right now.
HARRY CHEADLE: Yeah, I feel that I'm awkward--
BLAKE EASTMAN: --because you feel awkward.
HARRY CHEADLE: Yeah.
BLAKE EASTMAN: Right.
HARRY CHEADLE: Blake filmed me to demonstrate just how bad I
was at standing around, then showed me some videos of his
body language students.
Some of it was too subtle for me to understand, but I did
like his technique.
I'm going to start videotaping my friends for later analysis.
BLAKE EASTMAN: Have a go at it.
HARRY CHEADLE: Yeah.
Thanks to you.
BLAKE EASTMAN: No problem.
HARRY CHEADLE: Thanks for doing this.
So I feel I learned a lot from Blake about communicating and
using my hands to get my point across and
interact with people.
But I want to try it out in the field.
So I'm here in The Watering Hole, a bar and restaurant in
Manhattan, where I'm going to go on some speed dating.
And I'm going to meet 15 girls in about 45 minutes.
And that just seems like a bad idea.
But I need to try this out.
And I need to figure out if girls like
me, if I like girls--
I know I like girls--
and I'm going to deal with my nervousness in two ways.
I'm going to do those exercises Blake taught me.
And I'm going to get drunk.
MAYRA PERDOMO: Hi.
How are you?
HARRY CHEADLE: Hi.
I'm good.
I'm Harry.
I'm here for the speed dating thing, the On Speed Dating.
MAYRA PERDOMO: Yes, Harry.
HARRY CHEADLE: Yeah.
MAYRA PERDOMO: Is this your first time
speed dating with us?
HARRY CHEADLE: It is, yeah.
I have no idea of how this works.
MAYRA PERDOMO: You're going to have fun.
Don't worry about it.
HARRY CHEADLE: OK.
All right.
MAYRA PERDOMO: But if you'd like, we're just having
everybody hang out at the bar.
HARRY CHEADLE: I didn't remember exactly why Blake
told me to exercise before going on a date.
Something to do with the hormones?
Maybe women are naturally drawn to men who are a little
out of breath?
In any case, punching the air in front of a mirror does make
you feel like a cool, tough guy who is ready to throw down
at a moment's notice.
This looks like the kind of place where you
fall in love, right?
I'm sure plenty of people have started relationships here.
Christ.
[BELL RINGING]
MAYRA PERDOMO: So for all of you that haven't done this
before, it's very, very simple.
What we're going to do is everybody's going to have a
three-minute date.
I hope you guys all find love.
And thank you, again, for coming.
[BELL RINGING]
HARRY CHEADLE: Hey.
MICHELLE: Hi.
HARRY CHEADLE: Hey.
Hey.
GERALDINE: Hi.
- Hi.
HARRY CHEADLE: How are you doing?
I'm Harry.
ISABEL: I'm Isabel.
HARRY CHEADLE: Hey, I'm Harry.
NICKEE: Harry--
- How are you?
HARRY CHEADLE: How are you?
I'm Harry.
- How are you?
HARRY CHEADLE: I'm good, I'm Harry.
- Eric, nice to meet you.
HARRY CHEADLE: No, no, Harry.
Yeah.
- Oh, Harry.
HARRY CHEADLE: Yeah.
No.
It's a confusing name.
I'm Harry.
KAITLIN: Kaitlin, nice to meet you.
HARRY CHEADLE: Kaitlin, nice to meet you.
AGNES: Hi, I'm Agnes.
Nice to meet you.
HARRY CHEADLE: Nice to meet you.
I'm Harry.
AGNES: How are you?
HARRY CHEADLE: I'm good.
AGNES: How's it going?
HARRY CHEADLE: Good, good.
Yeah.
AGNES: Good.
HARRY CHEADLE: How are you?
AGNES: I'm good, fantastic.
HARRY CHEADLE: I'm a shy guy naturally.
Yeah, is that coming across?
I feel like this is like everyone's New Year's
resolution.
- Ha, ha, ha.
Totally.
HARRY CHEADLE: It's like they're either at the gym, or
they're here.
I like your earrings.
They're very nice.
But they're very big and round.
ANGELIQUE: Basically.
HARRY CHEADLE: You work with Chris Brown.
ANGELIQUE: I'm doing a Rihanna impression.
HARRY CHEADLE: Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's like representing--
GERALDINE: --yeah--
HARRY CHEADLE: --Stalin or something.
GERALDINE: Yeah.
- Are you looking for a relationship?
Are you looking for marriage?
HARRY CHEADLE: Oh, God, no.
Not marriage.
Well, yeah, maybe divorce.
You're not looking to get married and have kids?
- Well, not tomorrow.
HARRY CHEADLE: OK, good.
Look, thank God.
Because I'm not up for anything like that.
You love surgery.
- Yes.
HARRY CHEADLE: And you love cutting dogs open, basically.
- Yeah, I like to.
HARRY CHEADLE: I like your earrings.
They're very dangly and big.
NICKEE: Thank you.
[BELL RINGING]
HARRY CHEADLE: Well, that bell, it's very nervewracking,
isn't it?
- It is.
Meeting new people is sometimes nervous for me.
And then, like, the bell goes off.
And like, oh, God, what's happening?
NICKEE: Oh, it's over.
HARRY CHEADLE: Fuck meeting new people.
I don't need this.
I could be more enthusiastic, I guess.
By the end of the speed dates, I felt like a slightly drunk,
squeezed-out dishrag.
I'd be surprised if any of my dates liked me, because I sure
hated myself.
Well, that wears you out.
Jesus.
So it turns out that meeting 15 people for three minutes
each in 45 minutes is kind of stressful and
kind of not that helpful.
I was trying to do everything Blake taught me.
I was trying to be positive with my body language.
But the truth is that when you're meeting people, you
think about where your feet are or where their feet are,
or where your hands are supposed to be, or if they're
supposed to be waving around.
You're thinking about the person.
Sometimes it just doesn't work out.
You're just not compatible.
But I think that's OK.
You know, it's OK, actually, not to like that many people
and to wait around for the people that you like.
[MUSIC PLAYING]