- Every time a ball is eaten--
- A GMM gets its views.
- Let's talk about that. (strums note)
(alarm rings) (playful theme music)
(fire blasts)
- Good Mythical Morning.
- Please welcome from season five of Food Network's
Holiday Baking Championship, Duff Goldman.
- Hey guys. - Woo woo woo!
- Good to be here. - Thanks for being here.
- Yeah, thanks for having me.
- Last time we saw you, you challenged us to eat
a birth cake made of placenta.
Thanks for that.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
How was it?
- Oh it was lovely. - It was so fabulous.
- We ate the whole thing. - Mm.
- And then made another one, nope, we didn't get any down.
(chuckles)
Now Duff, since it's the holiday season
and since you are the cake guy, we wanted to bring you on
for a very special holiday-themed cake taste test.
But we're gonna do fruit and nut cakes
and we thought that you could bring the cake knowledge
and we could bring the nuts. - Mm-hm.
- Sure.
- And our nuts come not from trees,
they come from the animal kingdom.
- Those nuts. - Yeah.
- Very specifically those nuts.
- The hangy down ones. - Gotcha.
The dangling ones. - Testicles.
I mean you don't have to do that, but we do.
We like to do that.
- International sign for scrotum.
- It's time for--
♪ Deck the cakes with balls of animals ♪
♪ Fa la la la la la la la ♪
♪ Balls ♪
Okay so Mythical Chef Josh got ahold of
a veritable cornucopia of animal testicles,
and he baked them into some holiday style nut cakes.
- Okay. - Each round we're gonna
taste the nut cake and guess the testicle.
- Yeah the guessticle.
Now we're not guessing blind, we're going to be choosing
from these possibilities.
We got bull.
We got duck, we got beaver.
- Oh wow. - We got turkey.
We got emu.
We got camel.
We got llama, and we got lamb.
Now we don't have all of those but that's the bank
that we're choosing from.
- The prize and punishment at the end,
whoever gets the most right, wins a nut roll
Kevin's dad made that he described as pretty good
but has been in a freezer for three years.
- Yum.
- And a fruit cake matzo ball soup.
And we get to decide which one is the prize
and which one is the punishment.
I don't know. - 'Cause it's not clear.
- Let's get into it. - Okay.
- [Rhett and Link] Round one.
- And here we have our first fruit and nut cake.
- [Rhett] Oh.
- And Josh has told me that okay, there's a nut here.
A little ball. - Oh gosh.
- That's for you.
Whoop, well I just got the ball out.
- [Duff] I want just the ball.
I want to-- - I think it might have to be
more of a scooping motion Link, yeah.
- Okay, Rhett, there's one for you.
The testicle's on the end of the skewer.
- Good.
Just what I like. - This whiter one here.
- Super gross.
And so I'm gonna get to eat that one 'cause it's--
- Eyeball that. - Maybe it's just garlic.
- Yeah. - It kinda looks just like
a piece of garlic, right?
- [Rhett] Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
- [Duff] Maybe it's not.
- If there's any chance of us putting testicles
in something, we're never gonna not do it.
- I got that one. - Okay.
- Okay, we're doing this. - Dink it.
- I don't want it to fall off. - Dink, dink.
- And sink it.
Got a walnut first, but then I got a nut nut.
- It's spongy. - I don't exactly know
how to decipher between testicles.
I know how to decipher between my two.
Left and right. (chuckles)
If you get that screwed up, you're in trouble.
- That's called torsion. - Torsion.
- It doesn't taste bad. - Yeah, it's kinda bland.
- Kinda bland. - Yeah, by the way,
excellent cake, sir.
- Thank you. - Excellent cake.
- Oh wow
- Really, moist.
That's one of the best fruitcakes I've ever tasted.
- Dang. - Hey!
(claps) Duff Goldman right here!
- That is not bad, not bad.
- Josh is doing a celebration.
(Duff laughs)
I demand testicles in all of my fruitcakes!
- From this day hence.
All right I'm gonna-- - I swallowed it, it's tough.
- Who would have a mild testicle?
- I think I know what I'm gonna call it.
- All right. - Right, ready?
- [Stevie] You guys want a countdown?
- I think I know-- - Oh is that, okay.
- [Stevie] Yeah, get ready to stab your balls
in three, two, one.
- Little lamb ball.
- Yep, I'm going with lamb as well, Link.
Because it felt so subtle.
It hasn't had time to develop into something
that's gonna be too offensive.
- I was just thinking even though I got the weird white one.
Thanks, by the way, for making me eat the weird part
of the testicle. - Yeah.
- Most of them were dark.
I don't know if you've ever seen emu meat, it's really dark.
So. - You're right.
Does that drop down into there?
- I mean, I don't know.
It's a virile animal.
- [Stevie] Okay guys, these are lamb testicles.
- What! (Rhett and Link laugh)
What!
Oh no. - I don't know how we,
I don't know, I just felt--
- I'm a professional chef!
- Well but are you a professional ball-eater?
- I'm not, I'm not.
That is amazing. - Welcome to our world.
- Wow.
- [Rhett and Link] Round two.
- New cake, same day.
- Yeah. - All right,
I gotta redeem myself here, so--
- [Link] There's two.
- [Duff] There's two and then here's one.
- Looks like a gumdrop.
- It literally looks like a little,
just a little guy there. - Chocolate gumdrop.
- Do you want that one?
- I'd like some cake as well though.
(laughing)
If I could have some cake to wash it down,
that would be much appreciated.
- These ones, I feel like these needed to be
tossed in flour, I think they would have adhered to
their surrounding cake a little better.
- Oh, you hear that Josh?
(laughs)
- I like how he's bringing a legit judging component
to our show.
Like we've never been able to legit judge anything.
Dink it. - Dink.
- Oh! - Oh man!
- My balls dropped. - Oh did you hear that noise?
That's a true nut. - Yeah that was--
- That was a true nut. - I don't wanna get my hands
all over your-- - There you go.
- Oh gosh, well now it's on the ground.
- Oh. - Mm.
- It's tough. - Oh yeah.
- It's like eating a 40 year old gumdrop.
- The testicle is the last thing to remain in your mouth.
I will say that.
You get to the cake and then it just lands right there
and you're like, that is a testicle.
In my mouth. - Yeah, yeah.
- And I'm really tasting the testicle of it.
- Yeah it wasn't good.
It had a very oily quality to it.
- Really small.
- Yeah, which-- - Did he give you a hint?
- No, but I think I got it.
I'm gonna get this one. - I think I got it.
- [Stevie] You guys ready to guess?
- Yep. - Okay, in three,
two, one.
- Beaver nuts! - You know what.
- Beaver nuts. - I was between
beaver or duck.
- [Link] When you said oily,
that made me think of a beaver gland.
- Duck is also oily but I think beaver's nuts are bigger.
Not that, but, I just feel, well maybe it's a little beaver.
I don't know, what is it?
- I thought it was kinda fishy, you know?
- And there's no fish.
Next thing you go to is a beaver.
- Beaver.
- [Stevie] Okay, these nuts are beaver nuts.
- Dang it! - Boom!
- Yeah. - Boom!
- Yes! - It was a great guess.
- Oh man, I feel much better about myself.
- I narrowed it down to beaver and duck, but man,
beaver's got little nuts, I feel bad for him.
(Duff chuckling)
- [Rhett and Link] Round three.
- That looks like a truffle.
- [Rhett] (laughs) It's not.
It's definitely not. - It's a testicle.
- Yeah. - Grab your forks.
Get in here, guys. - You can kinda see
how big it might have been. - You don't have a fork.
- [Duff] No.
- Oh my gosh.
You can have that one.
- That's a big one.
This is the biggest.
Look this one's like four times the size of
the next size up of nut.
Oh man.
- And you just lost everything but--
- But the nut.
- Okay, I've got some nut there.
Looks like a black olive.
- Don't like olives, oh man.
- [Duff] Oh it's not nearly as firm as I thought.
It's a little squishy.
- That's how you want 'em, right?
- Yeah, dink, boop. - If they're not squishy--
- Boop. - Sink it.
- [Rhett] Go to a doctor.
- It kinda flows with the cake because of the sponginess.
- Wow!
It's almost good.
- I'm not tasting testicle yet.
- This nut wants to be part of the cake.
And it just goes right down with it.
- It was like nut camouflage.
- That's gonna make this very tough for us, guys.
We're basically going off of looks alone.
- I mean for the size of that nut and for the color of it,
I thought it would be a lot more present.
- I think we're talking about a testicle about that big.
- [Stevie] You ready to guess?
- Ugh!
- Black testicle.
- [Stevie] Okay, three, two, one.
- I'm going emu.
- I'm going camel, 'cause I just want to eat a camel nut
and I-- (laughing)
- And you can make it true by your guess.
- [Stevie] Guys, Link is three for three, 'cause it's emu.
- (laughs) Yeah, now, the reason I chose emu
is because it was black and they have like their legs,
all their exposed parts of their body is very dark.
- [Duff And Link] Right.
- Which you had already said.
What you talked about helped me out there.
- Wow.
- [Rhett and Link] Round four.
- Another cake, yeah, fork out a nut.
- All right. - There's some
fleshy variations up in here.
- Yeah there's some good white meat, dark meat.
- I cannot believe that I have gotten all of these right.
- I'm impressed.
Sir. - You should be 'cause
it never happens.
All right, I've got some testicular forkage going on here.
It's funny that I'm actually picking out other parts
of the cake that I don't wanna eat.
- Mm, this one's got a very ball forward flavor.
(crew laughs)
- I'm not getting it yet.
You kinda have to get the cake out of the way.
- Yeah, this would be easier
if we were doing this sans cake, just uncut fun.
- Oh man this is real bad to me.
- I am not having the same experience you are.
- Go back in, brother. - That one's gone.
I don't think there's another nut in there.
- Wait what's that?
Ooh that's a big ol', you wanna split that?
- Yeah, let's split that.
- Okay, that's, yeah. (chuckling)
- Yeah, very concentrated.
Also unlike any testicle I've ever eaten.
You guys didn't get the must?
- Ooh!
- Oh there it is. - Ooh, whoa!
- Yeah I hit like a sack of must.
- Whoa!
- There's like a sack of must in there.
- It's like a pungent grandmother's air freshener.
- And it keeps on giving, you know, that's the thing.
It's doesn't--
- Yeah I'm glad you got it 'cause I thought
I was going crazy.
- It's spicy. - This animal has a secretion.
This animal has something that they're secreting.
Do camels secrete things?
- [Stevie] All right, three, two, one.
- Going back with the duck again.
- I'm going for camel now. - I'm gonna go for camel.
- Oh you know what, you might be right.
It has like a desert quality to it.
- Not really. - A little sagey?
- You're reaching now.
I hope you're right though.
- [Stevie] Okay guys, these are llama balls.
- Ah, llama! - We were close.
We should get half a point for camel.
- Yeah, the llama is the camel of the mountains.
- Right. - Yeah.
- [Rhett and Link] Round five.
- Last cake.
- Last testicle.
- Man it's so sad to know this is gonna be the last testicle
that I eat today.
- Mm. - But is it?
(laughing)
- Okay, you got me. (laughs)
All right so we got like, that's a real white snake
of a testicle right there.
- Oh gosh. - It just popped out.
- Man, it's like a chicken. - Yeah it's like a,
it's like a chestnut.
- At this point, I'm just like pulling out ball pieces.
- Oh you're going straight ball?
- I think I want a little cake with that, that looks--
- I need a little cake. - That looks flavorful.
- [Rhett] I'm gonna get a little of that cherry there.
- I got 80% testicle, 10% cake,
10% regret, let's do it.
Dink it. - Dink.
- Sink it.
The cake tastes good. - Yeah, it does.
- The testicle part? - A bit bland.
A bit tender.
- There's a little piece there if you want another go at it.
Right there, yeah.
- [Rhett] Is that a nut or a nut?
- That's another game.
Is it a walnut or a nut nut? (chuckles)
- It's a walnut. - Don't put it past us.
Write it down.
Yeah, that's just a regular nut.
Good though, great nut. - That's testicle.
- Very, very tasty ball.
Highly recommend.
- I got a ball in my teeth. - So again,
I'm still hoping that there was some camel in my mouth
at some point. - You ready to guess?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- [Stevie] Okay, three, two, one.
- I'm going duck as well. - I'm going duck.
- Turkey, going turkey!
- [Duff] Duck, duck, turkey, that's not how it goes.
- [Stevie] Okay.
- Duck, duck, camel?
- [Stevie] These were turkey balls.
- Whoa, Link!
You're a ball master! - I have a gift.
I never asked for it! (Duff laughing)
Why is this the only thing I'm good at?
- Very auspicious. - You can put this on
your college application, Link.
I'm really good at tasting balls.
- Knowing what animal it come from.
- All right Link, you're gonna get to pick between
the three year old nut roll
or the fruitcake matzo ball soup.
- All right. - In Good Mythical More.
- I get whatever you don't want?
- We just get the leftovers. - Gotcha.
- You get to hang out with a guy who knows what--
- Balls. - Animal nuts taste like.
- I'm impressed.
- We wanna thank Duff for tasting these testicles with us,
and hey, be sure to check out his Holiday Banking,
Baking, Banking?
- It's Holiday Banking, it is a riveting show.
- Save that Christmas money, kids!
- Wait, how many 20s do you want for this?
- Holiday Baking Championship on the Food Network.
Monday nights, nine, eight central.
And check out the Holiday Baking Championship
homecoming special, Christmas Eve.
- Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You say, "You know what time it is."
- You know what time it is.
- Jeremy from the Orangeville Door drop-in center
here in Orangeville, Ontario,
and I'm telling you that it's time to--
- Spin the Wheel of Mythicality!
- Hey Aaron. (Rhett and Link laugh)
- Aaron, you ruined my video.
(laughing)
Click the top link to watch us try fruitcake matzo ball soup
in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where the
Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land.
- [Rhett] Wanna create your own Will It concoction?
Do it with the help of a Good Mythical Morning
cutting board, available now at Mythical.store.