Do you know that covert narcissists are less obvious but more dangerous than overt narcissists?
Covert narcissists, also known as introverted narcissists, are fragile, shy, and self-deprecating people who are usually sensitive to what others think of them.
Overt narcissists, on the other hand, are extroverted, bold, and attention-seeking people.
These individuals are very aggressive and aren’t sensitive to anything around them.
The psychological make-ups of overt and covert narcissists are not the same.
There are different signs to distinguish a covert narcissist from an overt narcissist, which we’ll be exploring in this video.
Today, we’re going to share with you 10 mysterious signs that may indicate you’re unknowingly dealing with a covert narcissist.
Make sure to watch until number 1, because it’s one of the most secretive signs we've ever seen!
Number 10: They can’t stay in a relationship.
A healthy relationship demands empathy, protection, respect, and support.
But in covert narcissists, all these things are lacking.
Covert narcissists can’t stay in a relationship because they can’t endure any person for a long time.
These people make a bond only when they’re impressed by your empathy and positive outlook towards life.
They try to satisfy their desire for compassion and attention through your relationship.
First, they’ll foster feelings of safety, well-being, and comfort in you.
They’ll try to dedicate as much time and attention as possible to make you believe you’re the most important person to them.
Once you’re head over heels in love with them, they’ll start losing interest in you.
They’ll blame and shame you to maintain their control in the relationship.
They’ll ignore you, point out your flaws and isolate you from your dear ones.
To the outside world, your relationship may seem to be complete, but you’ll feel it differently.
Your partner will torture you until all of your psychological resources are depleted and you become mentally helpless.
Number 9: They avoid gatherings.
If someone around you is a covert narcissist, you’ll observe that they always make lame excuses for not going to parties.
Covert narcissists are also called introverted narcissists due to their shy or withdrawn nature.
These people are afraid that their flaws and failures will be seen by others.
They totally avoid interactions because they believe that exposing their innermost feelings would shatter their illusion of superiority.
Unlike covert narcissists, overt narcissists don’t completely avoid parties.
They’ll attend such gatherings and try to get full attention.
They feed their egos by being the center of attention.
Covert narcissists are sneaky and their need for attention is not so obvious.
But they only attend social gatherings when they’ve got some personal concerns.
Number 8: They tend to put themselves down.
An endless desire for admiration is one of the hidden signs of covert narcissism.
These people often put themselves down when they are around a hospitable audience.
They pretend to be uncertain, exaggerate their suffering and struggles, and sometimes speak modestly about their contributions just to get compliments and admiration.
Covert and overt narcissists aren’t different in that desire, but instead of putting themselves down like covert narcissists, overt narcissists brag about their achievements with an underlying goal of earning recognition and compliments.
As covert narcissists are somewhat reserved, they achieve this goal by trying to get the empathy of their acquaintances.
But remember, covert narcissists are never givers.
They’ll take your time and compliments to console themselves but will never cheer you up.
They tend to have no boundaries for their needs, but you should set boundaries for the sake of your mental health.
Number 7: They make excuses for their inability to complete a task.
Though covert narcissists aren’t obvious about it, their desire for self-importance is always there.
They always tend to volunteer for tasks that can get the attention of other people.
So while extroverted narcissists will shamelessly push you aside or never listen to you irrespective of your rank, covert narcissists will tend to make excuses for their inability to complete a task.
Covert narcissists always do what they want to.
So they never change their routine, instead, they procrastinate in their work.
Another case is of a failed narcissist who expected a lot from themselves but never achieved it.
Due to this failure, they make excuses for not completing their work.
Don’t forget that the excuses of a covert narcissist are always sophisticated.
Number 6: They find it difficult to adjust to changing situations.
If you have a friend who rarely agrees to make time to go out with you, your friend may be a covert narcissist, because one of the hidden signs of covert narcissism is that these people don’t like to go out of their comfort zones.
It’s not only about going out, but also about situations that can be challenging for them to deal with.
For covert narcissists, surviving these situations is utterly difficult.
These people are perfectionists who have strict ideas about different situations and their outcomes.
They believe that everything will happen as they desire because they’re perfect.
This may be the reason why covert narcissists have a hard time adjusting to changing situations.
They tend to be rigid and become furious when plans change.
Simply speaking, they don’t want any irregularity in their life plans.
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Number 5: They are highly sensitive to criticism but never express it.
Both covert and overt narcissists are sensitive to criticism but their ways of expressing it are different.
Overt narcissists can’t bear the situation and bluntly confront others but covert narcissists, being quiet and timid, don’t express their feelings.
However, some covert narcissists don’t remain silent.
They make sarcastic remarks and act as if they’re way above this criticism.
But inside, they actually feel humiliated, empty and angry.
Experts suggest that a covert narcissist’s personality is constructed around their illogically high sense of self.
This makes them incredibly sensitive to any attempt to wear down that perception and hurt them.
And if that happens, they’ll either become quiet and hold grudges or make sardonic comments to protect their image.
Number 4: They are constantly jealous but don’t outwardly discuss it.
You may agree or not, but jealousy is the key trait of narcissistic personality disorder.
If a person is envious of you and portrays his feelings like an extroverted narcissist, it’ll be easy to deal with them.
But if someone close to you is jealous and doesn’t express their feelings, don’t you think it’s quite dangerous?
These people are categorized as covert narcissists because they can secretively harm you either physically or psychologically.
Introverted narcissists are chronically envious due to their sense of inferiority.
They always tend to desire things that other people have and this makes them jealous.
They can be envious of your wealth, personality, family, status, talent, or power.
Covert narcissists argue that you don’t deserve what you have and that they are the rightful owner of these things.
Although they don’t discuss it outwardly like overt narcissists, they’ve a secret sense of superiority that makes them believe they’re special, not you.
So they’ll secretly keep an eye on your belongings and never miss any chance to snatch them from you.
Number 3: They are aimless.
If you think that your partner is a covert narcissist, you’re in big trouble, because one of the key traits of these people is that they are aimless.
Covert narcissists are so driven by jealousy and trying to chase after others’ success that they become unfocused.
Even if they accomplish anything, they’ll not stop to celebrate it, but try to gain more success.
This only fosters their fragile egos for some time and in the end, they lose their goals.
But still, they don’t sit and watch the world go on.
They’ll start some haphazard struggle, frequently change their jobs to compete with their fellows, and eventually be at loss.
Number 2: They have a secret sense of superiority.
Although covert narcissists don’t make it obvious, they have a secret sense of grandiosity.
For example, you’ve been assigned a special task and you’re making efforts to complete it.
Your narcissistic colleague, instead of helping you, will make subtle comments about their importance to your tasks.
They may believe that this job can’t be completed without their experience or that they’re the only fit for this job.
This is an expression of their narcissistic sense of self.
The American Journal of Psychiatry also says that covert narcissists tend to be shy but their shyness comes from a secret sense of superiority.
These people tend to spend more time fantasizing about their talent and achievements than talking about them.
Number 1: They often suffer from mental health problems.
Due to their weak mental health, covert narcissists are more susceptible to psychological issues like anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and personality disorders like borderline personality disorder.
According to the American Journal of Psychiatry, covert narcissism involves a higher risk of co-occurring depression and anxiety than other types of narcissism.
The reasons behind these problems are: ● A fear of failure in relationships and exposure in society, leading to anxiety.
● Frustration over some idealized expectations and being constantly jealous, leading to depression.
● Holding grudges, feelings of inadequacy, and difficulty in relying on other people, leading to suicidal thoughts.
Unfortunately, more suicide attempts have been observed in covert narcissists than other types of narcissists due to a lack of recognition and treatment.
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