Harry and Meghan's engagement interview is one of the best insights about their relationship
dynamic, both verbal and non verbal.
But Meghan's covert reaction to Diana's mention has remained hidden for years... until today.
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So far I've been using a low resolution copy of their interview for my analysis but I managed
to get a high resolution version that makes so many details pop up.
And you will notice the difference once you see the first clip where Harry answers the
question,
"What do you think your mother would think about Meghan, or said about Meghan?"
- Oh they'd be thick as thieves, without question.
I think she would be over the moon, jumping up and down, you know so excited for me
He first uses an idiomatic expression, "They'd be thick as thieves", meaning that Meghan
and Diana would have been really, really close.
And at this point Harry displays a genuine smile, looking at Meghan.
Notice that he's breaking eye contact with the interviewer to get that positive feedback
from Meghan, like asking for a subtle permission to continue.
Then he goes back to the memory of Diana and says, "I think she would be over the moon,
jumping up and down".
We could use THAT Tom Cruise clip for reference.
But right after he says "She would be", he closes his eyes and bites his lip.
He really misses her, and up to that point he would really have wanted her to experience
this.
He closes this sentence with the words "so excited for ME".
Notice that he doesn't say "so excited for us".
He still focuses Diana's memory entirely to himself.
That's another signal of how strong is that bond for him after so many years.
He realizes what he just said, and that feeling, and that's why he does that subtle nod towards
Meghan again.
That's another slight look for approval and at the same time trying to include her in
that feeling, given that he just said 'so excited for ME'.
And that must be the reason why Meghan starts to smile but then... drops it.
It's very quick, it's just a split second, but it's there.
Now, by this point, her face is relaxed.
And you're about to understand why this is important.
Now, the following clip could be a complete body language lecture in itself, and it's
less than twelve seconds.
This is the moment to test your observation skills, and see if you can spot all the emotions
involved:
- but then, as I said, would have probably been best friends - best friends with Meghan.
So no it's - you know it is days like - days like today when - when I really miss having
her around and miss being able to share the happy news.
Well, the first thing that happens is that Harry's speech pattern changes.
And changes in two ways.
First, he's making more pauses between his words, and even repeats some of them.
This is another signal that this is a really emotional subject for him.
And the second way his speech pattern has changed is that he did not look for Meghan's
approval this time.
And he is talking about her.
He's saying that most likely, his mother and Meghan would be best friends.
It would make sense to look at Meghan at this point, but he doesn't.
So, in one hand he's talking in a more confident way because he is not turning to see Meghan,
to get that immediate feedback from her, and in another, his voice is breaking.
But I put them side by side for a reason.
And it's because there are simultaneous reactions.
And from Meghan, the first visible reaction is that jaw clenching.
You know that when someone clenches their jaw, depending of the thickness of the fat
layer of the skin, you can spot that tension like a diagonal shadow that goes from the
neck to the eyes.
We spotted a similar tension on William's jaw a few episodes ago.
But this kind of tension usually happens for a reason.
The person could be nervous or stressed.
In Meghan's case, on this interview, I don't think she was stressed or nervous.
I've mentioned before that, on this interview at least, she has a very stable speech frequency,
she looks very comfortable with the interviewer and with the camera, and she already has a
lot of experience with cameras, so this should be no problem to her.
So that jaw tension could be a reaction to something.
In this case to something that Harry just said.
And the words that Harry pronounced at that moment were "I really miss having her around".
Now, it's not like we're gonna jump and say that Meghan is jealous of Diana, or jealous
of Harry's feelings towards his mother, but... look what happens next.
After that first jaw clenching Meghan lowers her gaze so her hair becomes like a barrier,
and even if Harry turned to look at her, he couldn't have seen her expression.
What's interesting is that Harry follows the exact same movement with his face downwards.
And this sort of linked reactions happen with people that have rapport at any given moment.
In fact, there are techniques of persuasion where you can build rapport with another person,
and you can verify if you have established that emotional bridge if you change, in a
very subtle manner, change your body posture and see if the other person follows you, changing
theirs and mimicking you.
Usually it's the more dominant person who takes the lead.
In this case Meghan, and that's why Harry follows her.
But what happens next on Meghan's face is twofold.
She clenches her jaw again and she swallows hard.
And if you're wondering what was Harry saying at that moment, he repeated the term "missing".
"Miss being able to share the happy news".
So, this is the kind of things in Body Language analysis when you beging to pick up patterns.
That people show a certain nonverbal reaction to a stimulus.
A stimulus that could be verbal or nonverbal.
And if you add the fact that Meghan's expression while Harry keeps talking about Diana doesn't
have the slightest presence of any kind of smile, well... you begin stacking up signals
of her reaction to Harry's feelings towards Diana.
She shows more than a couple signals of being uncomfortable about that topic.
And if you're still not convinced, here's the last part of the clip:
- But you know with the ring and with everything else that's going on I'm sure she's ...
- She's with us.
- I'm sure she's with us yeah, you know, jumping up and down somewhere else.
Yeah, you noticed that Meghan tried to have the last word on Harry's feelings about Diana
and then he wraps up.
But what I noticed was the difference in facial expression of both of them.
Harry's face is relaxed, he's showing a very nice smile, and I guess that even if he gets
emotional when talking about his mother, his emotions are good and positive.
And that's why he signs off with that smile.
As for Meghan, her smile is a bit forced.
So far we have seen Meghan show genuine smiles dozens of times but this... this is not one
of them.
But wait, there's one more body language signal that's gonna be really useful when you want
to analyze people.
And it has to do with frequency.
Usually you should pay attention to blinking frequency, gesture frequency... even breathing
frequency, but in this case is going to be a lot easier.
You're gonna watch Meghan's thumb, stroking Harry's hand.
Both at the beginning of the clip and at the end.
I'm sure you're going to notice something peculiar:
The stroke frequency is twice as much by the end
of the clip, when Harry has already expressed his thoughts about his mother.
This is an emotional reaction that can have a number of meanings, including anxiety.
And what's more, also at the end of the clip Meghan has interlocked the fingers of BOTH
hands with Harry.
And that's difficult enough.
Like she wants THAT closer bond with him.
Maybe you've seen these kind of signals when a woman reacts when someone mentions her mother-in-law.
I'd love to read your thougths in the comments.
It's never just ONE signal that gives away people's true feelings, but a continuous stacking
of them.
In the case of Meghan and Harry's engagement interview, there are still many secrets to
be unveiled.
So this is not the last time we are going to take a look at it.
If you want to refine your observation skills, all you have to do is download my 100+ body
language tips, right in the description of this video.
My name is Jesús Enrique Rosas and it will always be a pleasure, my body language buddies!
Much Love, and Bliss.