Morning 265 of me not sleeping.
She just told me that she looked up
what hemorrhoids look like.
- And it was terrifying. - ( chuckles )
Sometimes it happens after the labor, when you push.
Shay: Like, remember when I thought that I was big before?
It's crazy how big you are.
They can happen in labor if you don't feel anything.
You're not the one giving birth, okay?
Shay: Calibrating.
Matte: Calibrating what?
Shay: My weight.
I'm holding the phone, though, Matte.
Like, this is adding extra weight.
Matte: The phone doesn't even weight half a pound.
Shay: Okay, well, 168.8.
I'm just saying that some of the things you're scared of
can be eliminated or potentially eliminated.
Giving birth without an epidural
or a couple hemorrhoids--
I'm gonna take the hemorrhoids.
Why, honey? You can--I know--
- The thing is you work out. - Matte.
- No pain, no gain. - It's not you.
- Yes, I feel great. - You feel good.
You know why?
'Cause I have my cocoa butter and I put it everywhere.
You think you can't sleep right now
because I use you as a human pillow?
What about when it's like... ( imitates baby wailing )
That's fine. That's fine.
- ( Shay imitates baby wailing ) - Matte: That's fine.
( birds chirping )
Shay: I'm so hungry.
We have to leave soon because I do not want to be late
for that baby basics class.
Matte, there are so many more noodles in there.
- You make it the best, though. - No, I don't.
If you didn't make it the best, I'd make my own.
- Shay: You're such a liar. - Matte: You do.
The way you make it is, like, incredible.
I honestly realized something.
The reason why I love spicy stuff so much
isn't even because I like the spice so much.
It's if I make it spicy enough, then no one else can eat it.
Okay, can I have some now?
( laughing ) Oh, my God, honey.
- Can I have some? - You could also make yours.
I can't wait till we're in class today
and they talk about partnership.
Okay, I'll talk about partnership all day long.
I'll talk about how I make enough noodles for both of us
so you just have to get them out of the fridge.
Speaking of which, what is this class?
Do you know anything about it?
( sighs ) I think there's diaper changing...
which we both could use a lesson in.
It can't be rocket science.
Matte...
technology updates itself all the time.
You have to keep getting refresher courses.
We're talking about diapers.
I'm 8 weeks out, Matte.
I don't want to ever say this, but I'm gonna say this.
You never know when you could go to the hospital...
truly, so I'd rather be prepared a little bit,
since we have nothing else that's prepared.
- ( crunches )
( grunting )
God.
Shay: It's so hot.
What would I do without air conditioning?
- I don't know. - Oh, this feels so good.
( hip-hop music )
( Shay groans )
That is getting harder and harder.
- Shay: How's it going? - Debora: Hi, I'm Debora.
Hi. Matte. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you. Yes, you guys ready?
These are the exercises I'm supposed to be doing right now.
Matte: I keep trying to tell you that, yeah.
- ( laughing ) Yeah. - You don't tell me anything.
You got to loosen up your hips, too?
My balance is fantastic, actually.
- ( laughs )
- Try putting 30 pounds on your stomach.
It kind of throws the balance off.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Debora: Please watch out. ( laughs )
I can do it. ( groans mockingly )
It's like he's so competitive.
He just picked up this baby
and said, "This is the size it comes out."
No, this is obviously a little bit bigger
than what's coming out, am I right?
Yes, a little bit bigger. We're gonna talk about that.
We're gonna talk about how baby looks when they come out.
Debora: But if you have a long baby--
that's, like, I would say 20 inches.
Some babies are born at 20 inches.
- ( laughs )
So let me show you some real birthday pictures.
That's sometimes how the babies look like
when they are just born.
You might see that your baby has swollen eyes, flat nose.
Some babies are born with this lanugo,
- which is extra hair... - Oh, my God.
Debora: But that goes away, too.
- It does?
You just do a little wax in the hospital room?
There's, like, a waxer that comes around.
( laughs ) I love that.
This is what I looked like.
Look at that.
I looked like an old Asian man.
- Yeah. - Like Benjamin Button.
( laughs ) Very cute.
Not that cute.
Debora: So babies are also born with some reflexes.
So, if you expose your baby to a very loud noise,
something falls on the floor, the baby will just like, whoo!
- Shay: Mm. - They do that.
They wake themself up.
That's why we swaddle them, 'cause then we turn that off.
Debora: Okay? Let's do the swaddle now.
Why don't you try it first?
- Or I can do it first. - Shay: No, no, no.
Just let him mess up first,
because he knows how to do this,
which is why he didn't think we needed to come here.
Matte: You're wrap this up, okay?
'Cause you got to get her feet.
This is gonna come across, okay?
And then her feet are secure, her arm is secure.
Great.
This has to be tucked in some more.
I was gonna tuck this in right there.
There you go. Like that.
Okay, are you done now, before we step in?
Mm. No, I'm all right.
- Shay: Okay. That's wrong. - Debora: You're good?
Matte: I'm all right now.
Okay. So let me just revise this.
This could work, okay? This could work.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hold on. Hold on.
Let me see you go.
And now, I don't want to see you use my technique either.
Shay: I like to do it my way, which is a different step.
I don't put the arm down right away.
( quirky music )
Oh, my God, you're putting your forearm--
What, are you arresting her?
- ( light laughter ) - Uh-oh.
- Maybe I don't do that. - Wow.
But, like, you tuck it in.
You can see who wraps all the presents in the house.
( laughter )
Debora: What do you know about breastfeeding?
What is that good for that you know?
That it really hurts.
It is kind of normal to have sore nipples
in the beginning-- to hurt a little bit.
But you have to see things getting better.
Do you have a nipple cover, like, a protector?
- Debora: Yeah.
- We have some. - And do they work?
They do work.
I wish I could have this,
so I could be like, "Here you go--somebody else's."
Shay: What is this thing about pumping and dumping if I drink?
So what we recommend for mom's to have
is one glass of wine.
But there are on the market little sticks
that you stick it in the milk,
and then you can test it to see if that's good or not.
- You should get some of those.
But it takes three hours per glass of wine
to get out of your system.
Kind of, yes.
- Matte: Wow. - Yes.
Is there a service to buy other women's, like, breast milk?
Debora: I mean...
- there is black market... - What?
Debora: That I don't really recommend.
Matte: No way. You have to be kidding.
- I'm not.
Debora: So let's go around
the store now and then see if you need anything.
- Shay: What's this? - Debora: Yes.
This is the first time
that I've actually been in a baby store,
like, for myself.
Shay: I can't really compartmentalize
the idea of having a baby
and, like, put it on the back burner, because
it's becoming more and more real to me every single day,
every single week.
Now I'm having to face it.
That one is a newborn size.
Where does it say that?
Shay: And I am terrified of giving birth.
( exhales deeply )
There's a lot of stuff in here.
Debora: So this is something that you put on your nipple.
Yeah, then it doesn't hurt me.
No, not as much.
Matte: Where's the milk tester for acidity?
Trust me, we're gonna be using that thing a lot.
Yeah, I will get that.
Yes.
Shay: Cute!
Woman: Did you enjoy the class?
Yeah. I had a little who's, like, 16 years younger than me.
- Debora: Okay. - Yeah, so I was around a baby.
- So babies don't frighten you? - Not really.
And I have friends who, like, have no business
having kids who were able to get through it,
and I feel like if they can get through it,
I can get through it.
- Shay: Thank you, guys. - Debora: No problem
- It was nice to meet you. - Matte: Thanks so much.
- Thanks for everything, yeah. - Debora: Yes.
Yes, it was great.
I'll be back for more nipple pads.
Debora: ( laughs ) Yes.
- Bye-bye.
Shay: Well, that was fun.
To me, I don't know. It just seems all so obvious.
Honestly, I wonder-- I'm like, "Yo...
"how long have people been having babies?
All those babies are all right."
Of course.
And without breastfeeding, they're all right.
- No.
If you can't breastfeed,
I completely understand the idea--
Some women don't want to.
Okay, well, I'm against that.
And I'm sure there's a lot of women who are against it, too.
I just think if you have the innate ability
to breastfeed and the kid latches,
why wouldn't you want the best for your baby?
'Cause-- Anyways...
- 'Cause what?
No, be honest. Why?
Because formulas are good, too.
No, they're not.
The physical connection,
the things you get from breast milk, it's just, like--
If you can do it. If you can't do it, of course, that's rough.
I get it.
( sighs )
What else did you learn?
( soft music )
( exhales deeply ) I learned I got to watch you
- when you swaddle the child. - ( chuckles )
( music continues )
( cell phone chimes ) Shay: Hi.
Woman: Hey, how's it going?
( sighs ) I just came from a Baby 101 class.
Oh, how was that?
Well, breastfeeding with the whole epidural combo--
I'm just, like--I don't know what I want to do yet.
All I know is that I just need Matte
to "silencio" and give me a little bit of space
so I can figure that out.
Unfortunately, that's the road you go down
when they just don't get it, so you do what's best for you.
Yeah. I just need to figure out a way
to get Matte to understand a little bit more
about how this actually feels and the struggle that it is.
But that's the thing--like, he'll probably never get it.
Right.
( mellow music )
What are you doing?
Nothing. What's up?
Okay, so I've been thinking a lot about his birth plan.
Yeah?
And I feel like...
We need to be more on the same page with this.
What do you mean "more on the same page"?
You say no epidural. I say epidural.
Am I partial to no epidural? Yes.
Why? Because I'm a hypochondriac,
I'm afraid of drugs.
My mom didn't use an epidural. Lizzy didn't.
I meet women all the time who didn't choose to use epidural.
Would you get a root canal without any drugs?
- You love that analogy.
It's like you're in excruciating pain,
and I'm holding the medicine like this, and I'm like,
"You could have it, and it wouldn't do any harm,
"but you don't want it.
Do you want to be a fighter? Fight through it."
A root canal is not comparable
Because you're not born to go through a root canal.
As a woman, your body is genetically engineered
to give birth.
Well, listen, next time, you can do this.
I would love to, honey. I already said that.
- Oh, you would love to? - I would love to do it.
You'd love to know what it's like?
The miracle of birth, honey.
Would you love to know what it's like?
Yeah.
- Today's your lucky day? - Why?
Because...
recently I've been putting together
a little magic bag of some items
that I would like you to try out.
You're gonna wear this.
- No, I'm not. - This is a 30-pound weight.
It's exactly what I'm carrying around.
You're gonna come with me on this hike,
and you are gonna wear this.
Before we put that on, though,
we're gonna put on these little guys,
and this is gonna go on your bear stomach.
What is that?
Don't worry about it.
It's gonna give you the same feelings that I get
of getting kicked in your ribs over and over again...
- No way. - While wearing this.
Look how excited you are about this.
Yes, 'cause I want us to go for a nice, romantic stroll
and us both feel the same thing.
You think I'm wearing this out in public?
You are wearing it.
I'm not wearing that out in public.
No one has to see this.
You're gonna wear a sweatshirt over it.
So you just want me to look like a fat guy?
Yes.
( funky music )
- You have an app. - Of course I do. ( laughs )
Matte: Let me see it. Let me see it.
- Let me see it. - Are you serious?
No, no, no, no, let me see this ting.
- You know how to work this? - Yes.
Now, let's put this on.
- This is crazy. - Yeah, well, so is this.
This is crazy.
This should be meant for every guy that's going through this.
( music continues )
Okay.
This is crazy.
Let's see. ( imitates horn honk, laughs )
Your tits look better than mine.
How's that even possible?
Matte: You're crazy.
( birds chirping )
Shay: ( singing ) You got to move it, move it
Is that tough getting out of the door?
This is definitely not how you feel.
I almost forgot about angel.
Come on. Good girl.
( car door closes )
Should I just put my hands like this?
( laughs )
Matte: Some women gain 70 pounds, don't they?
That's true.
You could've got me a 70-pound.
Then you would've complained that we really weren't equal
because now I got you one that was way more than what I was.
This is not equal. You put boobs on me.
I'm not putting a penis on you.
( laughs )
This is def-- Ow!
Enough.
Honestly, less talking, more walking.
- Come on. - Listen--
It just kicked. It just kicked me, too.
I want you to feel
the exact same sensation that I'm feeling.
What are you doing?
I felt it. This was great.
No, no, no, no, no. We're not done yet.
We have way more hike to do. Come on.
( clicks tongue )
Come on.
( laughing )
Keep it moving.
( funky music playing )
Question--
what do you think about changing the floors
in the house?
I don't think about that.
We're about to have a baby in two months,
and now you want to redecorate the whole house?
- Your mama's losing it. - Losing it?
Mm-hmm.
Ow!
I'm not losing it.
It's called nesting, so they say.