>> Stephen: SO MUCH OF THE COUNTRY IS STILL
RECOVERING FROM HURRICANE FLORENCE.
LUCKILY THERE ARE A LOT OF GROUPS OUT THERE HELPING IN ALL
DIFFERENT WAYS.
FOR EXAMPLE, THE NORTH SHORE ANIMAL LEAGUE HAS BEEN WORKING
TO FIND HOMES FOR PETS WHO WERE LEFT BEHIND DURING THE
STORM.
AND THAT MADE ME ESPECIALLY HAPPY, BECAUSE WE'VE LONG
PARTNERED WITH THAT ORGANIZATION FOR A SEGMENT CALLED, "RESCUE
DOG RESCUE," WHERE A GUEST AND I MAKE UP FLATTERING LIES ABOUT
SHELTER DOGS TO HELP GET THEM ADOPTED.
BECAUSE, OF COURSE, EVERYONE LOVES PUPPIES.
SO THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE THEM EVEN MORE ADOPTABLE IS TO HAVE A
CELEBRITY LIE ON THEIR BEHALF.
AND TONIGHT WE HAVE SOME PUPS WHO WERE JUST RESCUED FROM
HURRICANE FLORENCE.
IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER EDITION OF "RESCUE DOG RESCUE."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Stephen: HEY EVERYBODY.
WELCOME TO "RESCUE DOG RESCUE" REMINDER: ALL OF THE DOGS YOU'RE
ABOUT TO SEE ARE ACTUALLY UP FOR ADOPTION, AND ALL OF THE THINGS
YOU'RE ABOUT TO HEAR ARE ACTUALLY LIES DESIGNED TO GET
YOU TO ADOPT THEM.
NOW, IF ONLY THERE WERE A CELEBRITY WHO WAS WILLING TO
HELP ME OUT.
>> I'M A CELEBRITY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Stephen: WHAT, OH MY GOSH.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: EMMA STONE!
HOLY COW.
YOU'RE SO NICE.
WOW.
EVERYBODY.
EMMA, IMPORTANT QUESTION: ARE YOU HERE TO TELL FLATTERING
LIES ABOUT THESE DOGS?
>> STEPHEN, I'M AN ACTOR.
LYING IS WHAT I DO BEST.
>> Stephen: GREAT!
OUR FIRST PUPPY IS DWAYNE!
DWAYNE IS A SHEPHERD MIX.
A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK HIM, "WERE YOU NAMED AFTER DWAYNE 'THE
ROCK' JOHNSON?" BUT IN FACT, "THE ROCK" WAS
NAMED AFTER HIM, DWAYNE "THE DOG" JOHNSON.
>> THIS IS MIA.
SHE'S A SPIRITUAL DOG WHO BELIEVES IN REINCARNATION.
IN FACT, SHE THINKS THAT, IN A PAST LIFE, YOU WERE HER DOG.
WHICH MEANS IF YOU ADOPT HER, SHE MIGHT LET YOU DRINK FROM THE
TOILET.
>> Stephen: THIS IS OLIVE.
SHE'S A PRIVATE SECURITY CONSULTANT WHO'S BEEN WORKING
WITH THE ROBERT MUELLER INVESTIGATION FOR THE PAST EIGHT
MONTHS.
AND SHE IS READY TO TELL YOU SOME STUFF THAT WILL BLOW YOUR
MIND.
WHAT'S THAT?
DON, JR. DID WHAT IN MOSCOW?
WOW.
>> SHE IS SHAKING.
tephen: SHE IS TREMBLING WILL FACTS.
>> THIS IS RUBY.
FUN FACT, SHE'S NAMED THAT, BECAUSE IT IS WHAT SHE POOPS.
>> Stephen: THIS IS BARKLEY.
THIS LITTLE SWEETHEART SUFFERS FROM A CRIPPLING PORN ADDICTION.
BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, IT WILL MAKE THE AMOUNT OF PORN YOU
WATCH LOOK TAME BY COMPARISON.
>> HERE IS RIGS.
RIGS IS COLORBLIND.
HE SEES TOO MANY COLORS.
HE HAS ENOUGH TO GO AROUND.
HOWHO IS THE BOSS.
YOU ARE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Stephen: THIS HERE, THIS, HI.
>> Stephen: THIS HERE IS OWEN.
HE'S THE DIRECTOR OF THE 2015 BEST PICTURE WINNER,
"SPOTLIGHT."
DON'T BELIEVE ME?
THEN SEARCH YOUR BRAIN, WHO'S THE DIRECTOR OF "SPOTLIGHT"?
IT WON BEST PICTURE, SO WHAT'S THEIR NAME?
THAT'S RIGHT, BECAUSE IT'S OWEN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Stephen: WELL THAT DOES IT
FOR "RESCUE DOG RESCUE."
HEAD TO "THE LATE SHOW'S" WEBSITE: colbertlateshow.com FOR
INFO ON HOW TO ADOPT THESE DOGS FROM NORTH SHORE ANIMAL LEAGUE
AMERICA.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.