If you saw my video about the time i became a stolen laptop dealer
you know that sometimes us enfps can be bad judges of character sometimes
we trust people that we shouldn't and sometimes this leads us to have
enfp trust issues and this is a question I've been asked a bunch of times to get into so here we go
first things is yes we can definitely end up with more trust issues than we would like one of the
reasons is we don't spend a lot of time living in the past right if you look at how we generally
function how we operate we're future oriented we're always moving forward which is great
makes life really fun but it also means that we're not so good at dealing with the past
so if we have a lot of junk there it's going to be harder to actually deal with it and we might
be more likely to get stuck onto things and not process the way we should another thing that can
happen with us is we use our extroverted intuition which is all about scanning for possibilities and
seeing all the different scenarios rather than using that to figure out how we can
reach our dreams how we can find our perfect partner or different types of art we can create
we use it to think about all the things that can go wrong so now we're using the most powerful part
of our brain to think about all the worst case scenarios we are thinking through this thing
that can go wrong and that thing that can go wrong and we're really going out of our way to
generate the longest list possible of all the things that can go wrong so no wonder it might
be tough to trust someone if we're thinking about all the bad things they can do to us
now regardless of how this happens one thing is absolutely true we need to change this we need to
fix it because not trusting people is a recipe for self-fulfilling prophecies where you are not happy
if you refuse to trust anyone and then wonder why you don't have any good deep relationships
the answer is there for you right so you need to deal with this and there's a few ways i've found
that are great for doing this one is choosing your perceptions when i was in college i was
in a rather turbulent relationship and after that relationship ended something came up that
may have indicated my partner my first real love might not have been the most faithful person
in the world and the person that apparently this maybe could have happened with is someone i could
have phoned up not a friend but someone i could have reached out to and got to the bottom of it
and i never did now maybe it's just because i was scared maybe it's just because i'm weird
but the way i remember it and think of it is i thought through how will this serve me
if i assume we had a great loyal loving relationship how is that going to affect
my perception of love and relationships for the rest of my life whereas if i assume or find out
that this person betrayed my trust and cheated on me how is that going to affect my perception of
relationships and my trust issues for the rest of my life now not every scenario is quite this black
and white but we often have a chance to shape our perceptions of things let's say you have a partner
and they have an affair you can decide to see that as this person lied to me all people lie the world
is terrible people are liars if you love someone they're gonna break your heart blah blah blah blah
blah or you can choose to think hey this person's human and we had a great love and they cared about
me and i cared about them and then maybe something changed for them or maybe they have an unhealthily
high level of testosterone and really couldn't control it as much as they absolutely love me
maybe they took too much ecstasy at that weekend company retreat you know it's up to you to choose
how you perceive things and how you perceive something and remember it is what will affect
how it emotionally impacts you and ultimately your beliefs moving forward so maybe it sounds
naive to think okay i'm going to choose to see the best in people or i'm going to ignore some
obvious deception but ultimately how you choose to perceive it will affect mostly you not the
other person and so if you think hey i want to be someone who is loving and open and can trust and
can have great relationships then it's probably going to serve you to perceive things in your past
in a way that aligns with those beliefs ultimately every day we are using huge amounts of trust
just to function you can't walk down the street i cannot walk down the street without trusting that
that driver is going to slow down without running me over that this ground is going to continue
to exist under my feet you can't drive down the highway without an amazing amount of trust that
your hand won't accidentally veer that the road won't just end that the other driver won't swerve
into your lane you have to trust to survive and to exist so whatever is causing issues for you where
you have trouble trusting it's something you need to really work on and learn to ultimately have
faith in other people because if you don't do that if you don't have faith and have trust ultimately
nothing works and you can't function whether it's driving a car having a relationship working
with other people let me know in the comments if trust issues are something you've had trouble with
and if so what has helped you deal with them and move on and be a better version of yourself
my name is dan this is dreams around the world and i publish new videos each and every week
mostly for enfps so do consider hitting the bell the subscribe button the subscribe button first
then the bell is actually the right order to do that and i will catch you in another video soon
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