- [Narrator] Hi, Psych2Goers, welcome back.
American journalist Mignon McLaughlin once said,
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person."
But even if you're not thinking of settling down
and tying the knot with someone just yet,
it's always worth wondering where it's going
and how long it's going to last.
Luckily for you,
psychologists have been uncovering the secrets
to successful romantic relationships for decades
and figuring out what works best and what doesn't.
So with that said, here are eight early but good signs
your relationship is built to last.
Number one, you can communicate through conflict.
Being in a relationship isn't always easy.
And the truth is, no matter how compatible you are
with someone, you're bound to experience
some conflict with them sooner or later.
However, how you handle this conflict
as a couple speaks volumes
about the strength of your relationship.
Good communication, characterized by empathy,
honesty, and mutual respect,
is key to effectively working out any disagreement,
no matter how divided you might be on the matter.
And if you can communicate with each other effectively
through your conflict,
then you can be sure your relationship
will stand the test of time.
Number two, you share decision-making and power.
Another sure sign your relationship
has a bright future ahead of it is if you and your partner
have a balanced power dynamic between you.
That is to say, no one is more dominant or controlling
because you both value each other's input and opinions.
So everyone gets a say.
You both know how and when to compromise,
and you're able to talk to each other
when making important decisions.
This also shows that you're both mindful
of how your actions affect each other
and are considerate with each other's feelings.
Number three, you think in terms of we and us.
Similar to the last point,
you know your relationship is going strong
if you stopped thinking in terms of just I or me
and start focusing more on us and we.
What would your partner think about this?
Or how would they feel if you did that?
What do you think they would have to say about this?
And how are they affected by that?
Asking yourself these kinds of questions shows
that you really feel your partner is here to stay,
and being with them has helped you move past
your once self-focused and self-serving way of thinking.
Number four, you completely trust one another.
Do you need to know where they are
and who they're with all the time?
While other couples might have to do things
like go through each other's phones
or forbid each other from seeing certain people,
you and your partner don't really feel the need
to do any of that.
Instead you are secure in the knowledge
that neither one of you would ever do anything
to jeopardize what you have.
You trust their judgment and the purity of their intentions,
and receive their trust in return.
Number five, you accept each other for who you are.
Do you feel comfortable being your truest
and most open self around your partner?
Do they feel the same way about you?
Another sign your relationship will last
is when there's no longer any pretense between you anymore.
No need to hide things about yourself
or act a certain way around them
because they've seen your struggles,
know all your flaws, and love you in spite of it all.
You're able to tell them what's on your mind
and express yourself freely,
in a way you never could around other people.
With them, there's no fear of judgment or misunderstanding.
Number six, you share the same values and ideals.
While it's true that having a lot in common helps
to keep the romantic spark alive,
the importance of having similar core values
runs deeper than that.
It's the glue that holds
all successful relationships together.
This is because sharing the same values
as your partner means that
while you might not always see eye to eye on things,
at least you know that you want the same things
and that your paths in life are guided
by the same principles.
It also allows you to connect with them on a deeper level
and have an easier time understanding their point of view.
Number seven, you make sacrifices for each other.
Are you willing to give up certain things for them?
Making the necessary sacrifices
for the sake of your relationship is essential
to keeping it happy and healthy.
Because more than any grand gesture,
lavish gift, or a solemn promise,
the willingness to sacrifice your time, energy,
and other small comforts for the sake of your partner
shows how deeply you care about them
and how committed you are to your relationship.
After all, when two people are able to set aside
their own selfish, immediate desires
to care for the other, you know they truly love each other.
And number eight, you make each other better people.
Do you feel like you
and your partner make each other better people?
A good sign your relationship will last is when you like
who you are when you're with them.
Their unconditional love
and support makes you wanna be the best possible version
of yourself you can be.
You grow and change for the better,
not because you feel you're not good enough for them,
but because you wanna be the person
they already believe you to be.
Do you think your relationship will last forever?
Let us know in the comments below.
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The references and studies used in this video are added
in the description below.
Thanks so much for watching
and we'll see you in our next video.
(gentle music)