(rock music)
- In the era of COVID social gatherings
come with a certain amount of risk.
But Trump supporters have found safer footing on water.
So I chartered a boat and went to New Jersey, baby.
The site of a Trump rally on boats.
While the president himself isn't there,
he shouted out to his beautiful boaters
and it's the perfect way for me to get back
out into the field.
To get my sea legs under me
I had to talk to a real deal MAGA yachtsman,
like captain John of Tom's River.
Safe social distancing practices meant staging an interview
that was not awkward at all.
- We're going to the Donald Trump parade today and rally.
We expect over 1,000 boats.
- I gotta say, I'm getting a little bit of boat envy here.
- Well, boat envy, penis envy, you know.
- No, I was making that connection too, yeah.
Enough land talk.
I wanted to see just how impressive
these beautiful boaters were.
It is a line of Trump boats as far as the eye can see,
it really just keeps going.
It's like an election polling place in a minority district.
Who are you voting for?
- [Boaters] Donald Trump!
- Who are, I can't, who are you voting for?
- [Boaters] Donald J. Trump!
- Must be undecided.
I'm usually not so worried out on the water,
but technically this is an entire Armada of Jersey drivers.
- [Jet Skier] Hey, fake news!
- (bleep) you, too!
Little history about the area,
we're here at the Jersey shore.
That's the cove where Snooki got fingered.
And over there is the beach
that Chris Christie hogged to himself.
- [Boaters] We will make America great again!
- Make America great again
is a weird slogan for an incumbent.
- [Boater] Mask off!
- I'm worried about COVID!
- [Boater] Oh, all right.
- Boaters absolutely love him.
And the president loves boating, but why?
- Well, because a lot of beautiful women come with the deal,
number one, and he's always been loves woman, you know?
That was obvious when I first met him.
And you know, as another man, I could tell.
- You could tell, he was like--
- There was a way he was looking at a woman
and you know, disrobing them with their eyes.
- Oh yeah, that's the kind of guy who was in charge.
- It was on his motor yacht down in Atlantic city.
He had threw a party on it and I was a guest on board.
- You were a guests on board?
- It was great.
Don Johnson was there, Robin Lee.
I mean, it was really a who's who, you know.
- What Trump wife was allowed to be on the boat?
What Trump mistress and future wife was on the boat?
- Well, I met both of his wives in past years,
the first one and the second one.
But I remember the first time I met him
his aura came into the room before he did.
- If you had to rank Trump's energy
from a scale of zero to 130,000, what would you rank it at?
- The top of the, you know, top of the spectrum.
- 130,000?
- Close to it, yeah.
- 140,000, these numbers keep going up.
- Yeah, I know, but he's that powerful.
I mean, he's bombarded from all sides
and he's just standing there, He's not flinching.
- Yeah, yeah, it's almost like he's doing nothing.
- Well, in many ways, you're correct.
- Do you support the basic tenants
of the Black Lives Matter Movement?
- [Boaters] Woo!
- Oh, okay.
You understand that systemic racism
is something that we all together
have to collectively work together to dismantle?
- [Boaters] Woo!
- I don't know if they're understanding,
I'm going to try something more their speed.
What's your favorite Bon Jovi song?
- [Boaters] Wahoo!
- I wonder what the relationship is
between number of flags and midlife and sexual insecurities.
One to one?
If you can't beat them, join them.
So I use maritime signal flags
to speak the beautiful language of the Trumptilla.
As the day wound down it was clear the event was a success.
Of course, the threshold was pretty low.
- I don't think you saw one fire and one thing broke.
- Yeah, or one minority to be fair.
- Well, not true, you look closely
you'll see everybody here,
you'll see everybody that brought in here.
- It's very diverse.
I see yachts, I see skips, I see jet skis.
Sure, the rest of the country is suffering
through a historic pandemic
and a major economic and racial reckoning.
But out here for the bare chested admirals,
the jet ski superheroes, and the frozen pirates,
there's still only one man suited to be president.
- He doesn't speak like a normal politician,
but he talks like a billionaire
and a businessman out of New York.
I know a lot of people, because I'm a business man,
I have lots of friends
that are very successful business people
and he's really perfect for the job right now.
- Do you think you're speaking from a position of privilege?
- No, not so much as privileged, but just my instinct again.
- To be clear, your position is on the front
of a 50 foot long galley.
- 70.
- 70. - Yeah.
- But you're a common man.
- I am.
- You might think hours in the hot sun
bouncing on choppy seas listening to choppy arguments
might take its toll on a liberal land lover like myself.
(gags)
And you'd be right.