>>WHAT DO WE WANT?
>>FAIR WAGES!
>>WHEN DO WE WANT 'EM?
>>NOW!
>>WHAT DO WE WANT?
>>FAIR WAGES!
>>WHEN DO WE-
>>ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO
BEFORE CHRISTMAS-- SWEET EGG-NOG!
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
>>THERE HE IS, FELLOW ELVES.
LOOK UPON THE FACE OF THE OPPRESSOR!
TYRANNY THY NAME IS SPRINKLES!
[BOOS]
>>OPPRESSOR? I'M JUST THE SHIFT MANAGER.
WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?
>>WE'RE FORMING A UNION TO HAVE A VOICE IN THE WORKPLACE.
>>AND A SHRILL, HIGH-PITCHED VOICE IT IS.
THE WORKING CONDITIONS HERE ARE LOUSY.
THE AVERAGE TEMPERATURE IS NEGATIVE 45 DEGREES,
AND YOU MAKE US WEAR TIGHTS!
>>YEAH! IT'S HAVOC ON MY SCIATICA.
>>I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HEARING THIS.
SANTA HAS ALWAYS PAID HIS WORKERS FAIRLY AND DECENTLY.
[BOOS]
>>HE PAYS US IN CANDY CANES AND HOT COCOA!
NOW I'M LIVING WITH AGGRESSIVE TYPE 2 DIABETES!
>>YEAH, AND CINNAMON'S TEETH ARE ROTTING OUT.
>>GREAT MAIDS A MILKING!
IT'S LIKE STARING INTO THE ABYSS.
>>AND YOU WON'T LET US GO SEE THAT ONE ELF THAT
ACTUALLY BECAME A DENTIST!
>>HERMEY IS DEAD TO ME!
WOULD IT HELP IF WE HIRED MORE ELVES?
>>THE HIRING PROCESS IS ALREADY QUESTIONABLE.
WE'RE PRETTY SURE SOME OF US ARE JUST CHILDREN
DRESSED AS ELVES.
>>IT'S ADORABLE. AND ILLEGAL.
>>AND WE HAVE NO MATERNITY LEAVE!
>>IF YOU'RE EATING FOR TWO THEN YOU CAN WORK FOR TWO.
[LOUD OBJECTIONS]
>>SO, WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT, PAYMENT?
YOU JUST WANT MORE MONEY?
>>AND A FOOSBALL TABLE!
>>YOU'RE ELVES!
JUST MAKE A FOOSBALL TABLE.
>>WE DON'T WANT TO TAKE OUR WORK HOME WITH US, SPRINKLES!
>>THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.
JUST THINK OF HOW HAPPY YOUR WORK MAKES THE WORLD.
>>YOU MEAN THE 2 BILLION PEOPLE WHO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS?
>>MOST OF WHICH JUST WANT HIGHLY COMPLICATED ELECTRONICS.
>>SOME OF US HAD TO GET ADVANCED DEGREES TO PUT
THAT STUFF TOGETHER.
NOW WE'RE DROWNING IN STUDENT LOAN DEBT!
>>UNIVERSITY OF PHOENIX REPOSSESSED MY SLED!
[BOOS]
>>BE QUIET!
SURE, THOSE NUMBERS SOUND HIGH.
BUT REMEMBER WE DON'T MAKE TOYS FOR THOSE KIDS
ON THE NAUGHTY LIST.
THEY GET A LUMP OF COAL.
>>COAL THEY HAVE US MINING!
>>THERE'S BEEN A COLLAPSE IN B SHAFT,
SO WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO USE DYNAMITE IF WE
WANT TO MAKE OUR QUOTA.
[COUGHS]
THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.
>>I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE ALL THIS ANGER IS COMING FROM.
>>THE CANDY CANE STRIPERS AND THE LOLLIPOP GUILD
ARE UNIONIZED.
>>AND THEY GET DENTAL!
>>JUST PAY THE ELVES FAIRLY, GET A DENTAL PLAN,
AND OUTSOURCE THE MORE COMPLICATED STUFF TO CHINA.
THAT SIMPLE.
>>NO DEAL.
WHAT'S TO PREVENT ME FROM HIRING A BUNCH OF SCABS?
I'M SURE THOSE MIDDLE EARTH ELVES WILL WORK FOR CHEAP.
>>HOW DARE YOU!
>>LEGOLAS IS A TOOL!
>>OKAY, OKAY, PUT A FOOSBALL TABLE IN
THE BREAK ROOM AND WE'LL THROW OUT THE DENTAL PLAN.
>>DEAL!
[CHEERS] [APPLAUSE]
AH, LABOR DISPUTES.
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