He's gonna take you back to the past
To play the shitty games that suck ass
He'd rather have a buffallo
Take a diarrhea dump in his ear
He'd rather eat the rotten asshole
Of a road killed skunk and down it with beer
He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard
He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd
He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd
He's the Angry Video Game Nerd
Wow! How awesome can this be? Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout.
Well, it was a blowout, alright. BLOW OUT YOUR ASS!!!
Basically, you're Bugs Bunny going around with a hammer in a Mario-like setting. Really nothing special.
In fact, it's one of the most sickening side scrollers I've ever seen
because when you walk, the screen sort of like does this strobe effect.
I'm not kidding. It makes me sick!
Even worse is when there's an earthquake!
Oh, come on! That's cruel!
The plot is that it's Bugs Bunny's 50th birthday and he's on his way to his own party,
but out of envy, everybody wants to stop him from getting there.
So, you're just whacking anything in your path and, do you know what's really annoying?
Every time you get hit, you see stars.
And, when that happens, you can't use your hammer for a few seconds.
All you do is just go from start to finish.
There's usually a boss at the end of the stage, like here's Daffy.
You think you're supposed to fight him, but no.
That doesn't work. You're just supposed to get the carrot.
Yeah, this game's really a no-brainer.
OH MY GOD!!! IT'S BUGS BUNNY!!!
Nyah, what’s up, doc?
I can't believe it! In my own house! BUGS BUNNY!!! Bugs FUCKING Bunny!
After each stage, you get a bonus game, depending on how many carrots you collected.
By winning, you can earn some 1-ups.
Now, this number thing, I really don't know how to play it.
And I don't give a shit. So I just tap the buttons 'til it's over.
Nyyyyyyaaaaaaaahhhhh, what's up doc?
Now, here's Tweety. Hate this little bastard. You just gotta clobber him.
So, you could already guess that all the bosses are Looney Tunes characters,
like Wile E. Coyote, Sylvester, Foghorn Leghorn, Elmer Fucking Fudd and Pepe Le Shit.
But, the main enemies are just really weird.
There's these walking boxes with the letter S, little hammer head guys, Oscar the Grouch,
and these things, I don't know. I guess they're floating... dead cats.
These clocks are the worst!
They're all over the place!
You can't hit them without getting yourself hit, and when you kill them,
they explode for like, three hours and you just gotta stand back.
And, after they explode, another one immediately drops in its place!
So, I just gotta run through everything. I mean, I just don't even care.
Nyyyyyaaaaahhhhhh, what's up doc?
What's one thing I should have done a thousand times by now? Die.
But, I'm not dying. You know why?
Because this game's too fucking easy.
I'm just walking through the levels, getting hit by everything in sight,
not caring whether I lose all my lives or beat the game.
Whichever comes first, I welcome it.
All I know is this game is going on and on and on.
There's Sam, beating the shitballs out of me,
just hitting me every second that there is, but there I go! I still beat him!
Come on! I really don't care about the damn bonus games!
This game is garbage!
Nyaaaaaa-
I rather put my balls in a crocodile's mouth while shoving my head up an unicorn's asshole!!
Well, here's Tweety again. Get out here!
Come on, come on!
You little Tweety fuck!
Alright, here's Elmer Fucking Fudd.
Come on! Ugh, you son of a bitch!
Now what's he doing to me?!?! Get off!
A lot of times, you're supposed to break blocks to get where you're supposed to go, which is tedious as all Hell.
What a shitty assload of goddamn bullfuck!!!
Bugs:Nyah! Ain't I a fucking stinker, motherfucker?
Ain't you a goddamn FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!
Oh, I hate this shit right here.
This platform keeps disappearing when you jump on it!
Fuck! Alright, let's try it again.
Keep jumping, keep jumping! Oh, oh, here we go!
YES!!! Okay, next rope.
Oh, no! Wait! Ugh! Son of a cock!
Nyaa, What's up buttcock?
Sometimes, when you have to go down, you're never sure of whether or not you're going to fall and die.
Ugh! Mother of a fuck!
I hate those stars. I really, really fucking hate them!
You can't hit anybody without getting yourself hit!
And, everything you step on, it breaks away! It's just total ass!
Nyah! What's all the hubbub, Bub?
You know, this game is just way too generous with the extra lives.
Just like delibritely keeping me in the game so I can't stop!!
Nyah! What's up, buttcock vagina buttfuck?!?!
Ew, Shut up!
For what it's worth, the game's at least playable. But, there's no appeal whatsoever.
Making a birthday-themed game is one of the worst concepts imaginable.
Even with a big name like Bugs Bunny.
He's one of the greatest cartoon characters of all time,
but his leap to the Nintendo Entertainment System was just a total FUCKING SHITBOMB!!!
Well, here we are at the last guy. It's Taz.
All you gotta do is knock those footballs back at him, and you're done.
I BEAT IT!!! Now, get out of here!
Bugs Bunny finally arrives at his party.
He is greeted with thunderous cheers and applause from all his loving friends.
To Bugs' surprise, he finds all of his Looney Tunes pals there,
who had just moments ago been playing some very funny tricks.
I'll show you some funny tricks!!
Nyah, what's up, COCK!?
I'll show what's up, you bunny fucking piece of shit!
Bugs Bunny's birthday blowout!? How 'bout Bug Bunny's birthday beating!?
You want a shoryuken?
Do you want some shit?
Bombs away, Bugs bitch!!
Bugs: Oh shit oh shit!! Nyah!
Ugh, oh boy!
Don't worry, folks. It's not real.
Fuck you Bugs Bunny!!
Got your ass handed to you.
Uh, duh! Uh, duh! Uh, duh! That's all, fucks!