- YOU LOOK-- - HI.
- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. - THANK YOU.
- YEAH, I LOVE THE NECKLACE TOO.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH. - I LOVE THAT.
- THIS IS MY THIRD TIME BEING HERE.
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
[cheers and applause]
- WE LOVE HAVING YOU HERE,
AND HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M DOING WELL. I'M DOING WELL, YEAH.
THANK YOU.
IT'S CERTAINLY BEEN, YOU KNOW,
A PRETTY ROUGH YEAR,
BUT I'VE BEEN SURROUNDED BY SUCH GREAT PEOPLE,
SUCH GREAT FAMILY.
HI, MOM. HI, DAD.
THEY'RE SO SAD THAT THEY CAN'T BE HERE.
THEY JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE IN L.A., SO...
- WELL, THERE'S EXCUSE. WHERE ARE THEY?
IT'S NOT LIKE--
- THEY'RE COMING HERE SOON,
BUT THEY WISH THAT THEY COULD BE HERE.
- WELL, NEXT TIME YOU COME BACK,
BRING 'EM HERE.
- DEFINITELY.
MY MOM SAID SHE WAS SO UPSET
THAT SHE COULDN'T BE HERE.
- WHAT'S HER NAME? - EDITH.
- EDITH, COME ON. WHERE ARE YOU?
- YEAH.
- AND I UNDERSTAND--
IT WAS CRAZY, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THERE WERE RUMORS
THAT WHEN KATE HUDSON DID "GLEE,"
THAT PEOPLE DIDN'T GET ALONG,
AND THEN WHEN YOU WERE GOING THROUGH SUCH A DIFFICULT TIME,
YOU ACTUALLY KIND OF HID OUT AT HER HOUSE, RIGHT?
- YEAH, ALL THOSE RUMORS WERE SO WEIRD,
AND WE EVEN WERE CALLING EACH OTHER,
BEING LIKE, "THIS IS SO CRAZY."
IT'S SO UNBELIEVABLE WHAT PEOPLE CAN MAKE UP.
YOU KNOW, ALL THE--90% OF THE STUFF THAT YOU READ,
IT'S JUST COMPLETELY FABRICATED, MOST OF IT.
AND SHE WAS SO WONDERFUL
TO BASICALLY GIVE ME HER HOME
TO MYSELF AND MY FAMILY.
IT WAS SO HELPFUL
TO JUST BASICALLY HAVE A SAFE PLACE
TO PROCESS AND JUST HAVE A MINUTE TO, YOU KNOW, BREATHE
BEFORE GETTING BACK TO MY HOUSE,
WHICH HAS A LOT OF MEMORIES AND STUFF,
SO BEING SOMEPLACE ELSE TO JUST HAVE A MOMENT WAS REALLY...
- I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT-- YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE LOSS,
YOU'RE GOING THROUGH FEELINGS AND ALL THIS,
AND THEN YOU TRY TO GO OUT OF YOUR HOUSE,
AND THERE'S PAPARAZZI OR PEOPLE JUST HANGING OUT.
YOU CAN'T EVEN, LIKE--
THEY DON'T GIVE YOU THE DECENCY, THE RESPECT,
TO GRIEVE AND DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
THAT YOU GO HIDE SOMEWHERE.
- IT'S PRETTY INTENSE.
AND THEN IF YOU SMILE, IT'S LIKE,
"SHE'S SO HAPPY,"
AND THEN IF YOU'RE, YOU KNOW,
IF YOU LOOK SAID, THEY'RE LIKE,
"SHE'S TERRIBLE."
AND IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST REALLY HARD.
THERE'S SO MANY DIFFERENT EMOTIONS,
AND TO KIND OF HAVE PEOPLE WATCHING EVERY STEP OF THE WAY,
BUT TO HAVE THAT TIME AT HER HOME
TO JUST REALLY, YOU KNOW, BE IN PRIVATE WITH THIS
FOR A MOMENT,
BEFORE GETTING BACK TO WORK
AND BEFORE GOING HOME WAS--
I'M SO THANKFUL TO HER.
- YEAH.
AND THEN YOU HAD TO--
YOU ACTUALLY HAD TO GO BACK TO WORK ON "GLEE"
SHORTLY AFTER CORY'S PASSING,
AND WAS THAT GOOD BECAUSE YOU WERE AROUND PEOPLE
THAT WERE EXPERIENCING SIMILAR THINGS,
OR WAS IT HARDER OR...
- YEAH, WELL, RYAN MURPHY, WHO'S SO AMAZING,
YOU KNOW, HE CAME TO KATE'S HOUSE,
AND HE SAID, YOU KNOW, "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, WE'LL DO."
I SAID, "I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK.
"YOU KNOW, WE HAVE TO.
THIS IS OUR--THEY'RE MY FAMILY."
AND, YOU KNOW, WHAT PEOPLE ALSO DON'T UNDERSTAND
IS THAT GOING TO WORK IS NO HARDER
THAN BEING AT HOME
AND BEING IN THE HOUSE
AND OPENING UP A CLOSET AND SEEING A PAIR OF SHOES.
IT'S LIKE, THERE'S--
GRIEF GOES WITH YOU EVERY DAY,
WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING,
WHEN THERE'S GREAT MOMENTS,
WHEN THERE'S HARD MOMENTS,
SO I'D RATHER, FOR ME,
BE AT WORK WITH THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE,
THAT ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING,
AND IT OBVIOUSLY HAS ITS OWN TRIGGERS, YOU KNOW,
BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY,
I FEEL SO SAFE THERE,
AND LIKE I SAID, THEY'RE MY FAMILY.
- AND WAS THE TRIBUTE,
WAS IT--
IT MUST HAVE BEEN CATHARTIC.
THERE WAS, YOU KNOW, KIND OF CLOSURE OR WHATEVER
TO ADDRESS IT,
BUT, I MEAN, HOW YOU GOT THROUGH IT,
AND EVEN THE TEEN CHOICE AWARDS,
I JUST YOU JUST HAVE BEEN SO STRONG,
BECAUSE ANYONE WHO'S LOST SOMEONE CLOSE TO THEM
KNOWS WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE,
BUT TO DEAL WITH IT PUBLICLY AND TO HAVE TO JUST--
LIKE YOU SAID, THERE'S GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS.
I THINK YOU'VE BEEN AMAZING. - THANK YOU.
- I THINK YOU'VE BEEN REALLY, REALLY GREAT.
- I REALLY FEEL LIKE I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
ALL OF THIS.
IT'S BEEN ONLY A FEW MONTHS.
BUT MY MOM HAS EXPERIENCED A LOT OF LOSS IN HER LIFE,
AND SHE TOLD ME AT ONE POINT, SHE SAID,
"THERE IS AN EMPOWERMENT THAT COMES WITH GRIEF.
"AT SOME POINT YOU FIND IT, AND IT'S VERY HARD,
BUT YOU WILL FIND IT."
AND I THINK THAT AT A CERTAIN POINT
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO SORT OF FALL FROM THIS
OR YOU CAN CHOOSE TO RISE,
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M JUST TRYING TO DO MY BEST--
FOR HIM, BECAUSE THAT THAT'S WHAT HE WOULD HAVE WANTED,
AND TO JUST DO MY BEST
AND TO, YOU KNOW, HOPEFULLY,
MAKE SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, POSITIVE
FOR WHERE I GO IN THE REST OF MY LIFE.
- SOMEONE TOLD ME SOMETHING ONCE
THAT HAS STUCK WITH ME.
WHEN YOUR HEART IS BROKEN,
WHEN YOU HAVE CRACKS IN YOUR HEART,
IT LETS THE LIGHT IN.
IT LETS THE SUN IN.
AND I JUST--I HOLD ON TO THAT ALL THE TIME,
BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO.
YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT.
WHEN CORY WAS HERE,
HE WAS--HE ADMITTED HERE ON THE SHOW,
BECAUSE Y'ALL WERE SO ELUSIVE
ABOUT ADMITTING YOU WERE A COUPLE,
AND WHEN HE WAS HERE,
HE WAS SO ADORABLE,
YOU KNOW, TALKING ABOUT AND ADMITTING--
- I KNOW.
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE MEMORIES.
I REMEMBER WHEN HE CAME HOME THAT NIGHT,
AND HE SORT OF PUFFED OUT HIS CHEST AND HE WAS LIKE,
"I TALKED ABOUT YOU ON 'ELLEN' TODAY."
AND I WAS SO HAPPY.
HE WAS SUCH A PRIVATE PERSON,
AND I LITERALLY LIVED EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE
FEELING LIKE THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
I JUST THOUGHT HE WAS THE GREATEST MAN.
AND SO, YOU KNOW, AT THAT MOMENT, THAT MEMORY,
IT'S JUST-- IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.
- YEAH, HE WAS A GREAT GUY.
AND YOU ARE A GREAT LADY.
- THANK YOU.
- WE WILL TAKE A BREAK,
AND WE'LL BE BACK WITH LEA MICHELE.