- Hey! - Hey!
- Hey!
- Some of us are trying to identify Wakandan butterflies.
Would you stop yelling 'hey'.
- Hm, our oblong friend makes a good point.
Our message is simple and at this point
we've communicated it adequately.
- Yeah, maybe it's time we stopped
yelling 'hey' at each other.
- Thank you.
- And started yelling 'hey' at that huge bald guy
that just appeared over there.
- Hey!
- Wait, is that?
(screaming)
- What a scaredy pear.
Mr. Purple Mcbuff Butts seems nice to me.
- What's your name Mr. Purple Mcnurplestein?
- My name is Thanos. Perhaps you've heard of me?
- Hm, not ringing a bell.
- But I am.
(laughing)
(gong ringing)
- So let me get this straight,
you have no idea who I am or what I'm here for.
- Hm, what'd you say your name was again? Fanos?
- Thanos.
- Hummus?
- Thanos.
- Famous Amos?
- Than-os.
- John Stamos?
- I said, it's Thanos.
- Oh, Thanos. Yeah, never heard of ya.
(laughing)
- Ugh. From the Avengers movies?
- Ooh! Are you Hawkeye?
- Of course I'm not Hawkeye.
For one thing I look nothing like him.
- Well I don't know what he looks like.
I always fall asleep during his parts.
- I am far more powerful than Hawkeye.
I'm on an entirely different plane.
- Oh no, did you catch the wrong flight?
(laughing)
- Silence or I will destroy you both.
- Anything you say Hawkeye.
(groaning)
- I assume you must be this Annoying Orange
I've heard so much about.
- If I'm the Annoying Orange, what does that make you?
The Buff Purple? (laughing)
- I wasn't talking about the color.
Although, now that we're on the topic, I'm looking for this.
The yellow Mind Stone.
- Oh yeah, I've seen a bunch of those.
- No you haven't.
There's only one like it in the entire universe.
- Really? Why'd they call it the Infinity Stone
if there's only one?
- Um, I suppose I don't really know.
Wait, stop distracting me. None of this matters,
half the universe is about to be destroyed.
- Wow, that's dark.
- Yeah, Purpler Mcpeopleeater.
You should be more optimistic.
- What can I say. I'm more of a universe half empty
type of guy. (laughing)
- I don't get it.
- Fun isn't something one considers
when balancing the universe as all things should be.
But I admit that was a joke.
- Was it?
- Yes, because I'm trying to snap half of
all intelligent life in the universe into dust.
- Oh! I think I get it now.
Half, like how your face is halve chin and halve forehead.
(laughing)
- Did you just dis Thanos?
- Hey Purpy Mcnurpy, what's your favorite drink?
Is it half and half?
- Or is it Snapple. (laughing)
- Ugh. I've heard better quips in Avengers Age of Ultron.
- Oh, oh, is your favorite app Snapchat?
(groaning)
- Ooh, what kind of car do you drive?
An Infinity? (laughing)
- Ugh, I don't have time for this nonsense.
The Space Stone tells me the stone I seek is here,
now give it to me.
- Why?
- So I can place it in my gauntlet.
- Oh, that's right. Forgot. Sorry Hawkeye.
- Stop comparing me to Hawkeye.
- Or what? You'll throw down the gauntlet? (laughing)
- Enough. (stone shattering) Give me the stone.
- Okay, okay let me see if I can wiggle it lose. (squeaking)
- You've been using the yellow Infinity Stone as a tooth?
- It was the only thing that they could find
that matched his tooth color.
- Give it to me now!
- Gladly! It's really hard to chew with this thing,
as a tooth it really bites. (laughing)
- Yeah, yeah, super funny. Whatever.
(spitting)
- Ah, long last I have all the
Infinity Stones in my possession.
I am inevitable, wait what? (squeaking)
- Wow, this thing is heavy I've got to hand it to ya.
(laughing)
- You give that back right now!
- Give what back?
- The Infinity Gauntlet.
- Oh, this Infinity Gauntlet?
- Yes!
- Oh, I don't know where it went.
Maybe it's hiding in a game of keep away.
- Hey, that's very important. Don't. Drop it. Stop it.
I'm telling you, I'm about to-
- Snap?
- Well yeah, you two are exhausting.
- No snap.
(squeaking) - Uh?
(explosion)
- I don't feel so good.
- Wow, this Infinity Gauntlet kicks ash. (laughing)
- Wait, Orange? Does this mean we are going
to turn into dust too?
- Nah, he said it only turned
intelligent life into dust remember?
- Oh yeah, we're A-okay fore sure.
(mouth noises)
(instrumental music)