>> Ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas!
>> Shut up!
>> Hey, kiddo.
What are the cookies for?
>> I'm making them for Santa, daddy.
>> How many times do I have to tell you, Stephen?
Santa is not real.
>> He is too real.
And I will prove it to you.
Tonight, I'm going to stay up and catch them.
>> Like you did with the Easter Bunny, right?
Real good job you did there.
Let's go to bed, Cheryl.
>> But I want to watch "Deal or No Deal".
Cheryl!
>> Later that night.
>> Jackpot.
>> Gotcha, Santa Claus!
>> Santa Claus?
>> Yeah, Santa Claus.
Duh.
>> Oh, yeah.
Ho, ho, ho.
That's me.
I'm Santa Claus.
>> Are you going to give me presents?
>> Of course.
But Santa has some work to do, first.
>> Cool!
Hey, Santa.
Santa.
I made something for you.
Let me go get it.
Hey, Santa.
Santa!
Santa I made you cookies, Santa.
>> No thanks.
Santa is not very hungry.
>> I spent all day making them.
And I spent my whole allowance.
>> Just give me one!
>> How does it taste, Santa?
>> What did you make these with?
>> Well, there's flour and eggs and baking soda.
>> And what else?
>> That's it.
>> They are great.
>> Hey, Santa, why are you taking all of our stuff?
Do you want some help?
>> Yeah, sure whatever.
>> Oh, I'll go get the light.
>> What do we have here?
Crap.
Crap, crap, crap, crap.
Wait.
The most arousing family adventure since ET.
>> Santa Claus.
Santa Claus!
I got the light, Santa Claus.
Do you want a digital camera too?
>> Ow!
Jesus Christ!
God -- >> What?
>> Nothing.
Just -- nothing.
>> Okay.
>> Ow!
>> Hey, I got the camera.
>> Oh.
>> Do you want me to get more stuff?
>> On second thought, I don't want your damn help anymore.
>> Stephen!
Are you still awake?
Stephen.
What is this mess?
>> It's Santa, daddy.
He's here.
Yay!
>> Cheryl, we need to increase this kid's medication.
>> Well, Stephen, Santa better get going.
He has plenty of houses to get through and he can't get stay here.
>> Can he stay any longer?
Wait, what about my present?
>> Oh, yeah.
Of course.
It's right here.
You wouldn't want that.
I got a better present right here.
>> Can I have that purple flute instead?
>> Don't be such a selfish brat, Stefan.
>> Okay.
>> See you next year.
>> Bye, Santa!
See you next year.
>> What the hell is going on out here?
God dammit!
That's the same guy that robbed us on Easter.
>> No, that was the Easter Bunny.
Look.
>> I knew we should have left him in the Grand Canyon.