oh
i've got to save the princess hey
where's the bowser
he's usually in here what
was that sounded like it came from over
here princess
toad i'm not a toad i'm in orange
[Laughter]
what did you do with the princess and
toad toad is that like a frog
no it's more like you know mushroom i
know him he's a fun guy
all right enough of the funny stuff are
you ready to a fight
not really i'm kind of hungry well then
try on no wonder my spicy meatballs
meatballs we're like you're throwing
boogers stop throwing boogers mr pick
and flick it's not the booger
and i'm not a mr pick and flick i'm a
super mario spaghettios
i love spaghettios no no no no it's a
super mario
not spaghettio uh-oh what do you mean uh
oh uh oh spaghettios
[Laughter]
hey spaghettios use a kleenex already
geez why you no good two bits orange
two bit i'm at least eight bits
of making me take my gloves off i can
get the real amino when i want to
adjust you ask of my brother luigi did
you say linguine
your old family's made of pasta you have
a sister named ravioli
can you tell me where your princess is
or else or else what
shell shell what are you talking about
you crazy orange
turtle shell whoa
spaghettios is bite-sized
shrunk me you like a bigger orange or
ricomaranis oh don't worry bite-sized
spaghettios it could be worse could be
worse
now i never find that princess how could
it possibly be worse
[Laughter]
oh super mario more like stupid mario
right guys
i defeated bowser and saved you guys
hours ago yeah if i defeated bowser you
mean you annoyed the living crap out of
him until he just got angry and left
whatever princess apple that's peach
thank you very much
you're an apple hey
you guys are still here i told you
already get out of my dungeon you
[Music]
[Laughter]
freeloaders
grapefruits help wait you actually want
me to help you
well you're the only one here besides
donkey kong so
fear not my passion poopy i'm on the way
to your imminent rescue so you can kiss
me
yeah uh i never said i'd kiss you
okay just trying to get up here and
aren't you a little too round to be
climbing that ladder
nope i got it i got
you're welcome how's about that kiss
oh not exactly what i had in mind ah but
i'll take
[Music]
the only thing you're killing is time
miss again
[Music]
wow now that was foul
[Music]
a little squirt
wow
jeez looks like mario's on a crash diet
hey guys don't worry i'm here to help
wow that was a spicy seed maybe i
shouldn't have eaten those flying koopa
troopa hot wings for lunch
you so dare enter my castle it's a me
not mario i know mario well he does my
plumbing
okay fine i'm not mario no need to be
such a party koopa
seriously though you should get a new
plumber your pipes are clogged with all
sorts of stuff
flowers underwater worlds didn't anybody
ever tell you not to flush entire
underwater worlds down your pipes
that laugh is like nails on a chalkboard
you must be that annoying orange
everybody's been going on about
i assume you're here to save your little
girlfriend
oh i knew it you kidnapped passion
passion
don't worry i'm coming for you how
adorable
little orange isn't wov
give it up orange everyone can totally
tell you're in love with
passion we're just friends sure platonic
friends trek through eight entire
mushroom kingdom worlds to save each
other all the time
who ends the wedding
what's the matter annoying orange you're
looking a little annoying red
now then allow me to properly introduce
myself before i
kill you i am bowser king
bowser that's a weird name and the
annoying orange is somehow better
hey i'm not annoying i'm a mario
tell me then what name would be less
weird for me to have
i don't know something like leonardo
raphael donatello
do you think i'm a turtle duh i mean you
look just like a turtle
wouldn't you a green
does a turtle rule an entire mushroom
conduct does a turtle have super scary
spikes
can a turtle do this wow you can breathe
fire
that's a shell of a trick i
just told you i'm not a turtle okay
yeesh i get it no need to snap at me
was that a snapping turtle joke you're
getting it just now
even for a turtle you're pretty slow
oh you're so annoying what do i have to
do to get rid of you
easy just say cowabunga i will not say
that
i am not a ninja turtle i am not a
turtle of any kind
so you're not gonna say it no you sure
yes so you're not gonna say it correct
not even once no okay okay i get it
wait what was it you weren't gonna say
again cowabunga
no i didn't mean it well that was super
classic
dare i say super nes classic
but i'm in orange my word you said
cowabunga so now i'll be on my way
just like you asked me to
um are you going to fall into the lava
now or what yeah
it'll happen in a sec i hang here for a
beat for dramatic effect before i
wow that looked painful yowzer bowser
hey quite you you're dead well now the
same passion and
thank you orange but fashion is in
another castle
another castle how many of these things
are there
well i guess i'll have to keep looking
for her um you mind if i tag along
i'd rather not stay kids out here in
this super creepy castle
sure you can come you seem like a fun
guy
get it fun guy
yeah i'm sick of that i think i'll stay
here
hey hey zelda ah not this again
zelda hey zelda zelda he's out the south
and
my name is not zelda then why did you
answer to it
for decades now people have been calling
me zelda by mistake
i'm not zelda i'm link link what kind of
weird name is that
if i were you i'd be aching to have
people call me zelda
i don't have time for this i have a
kingdom to save
what the well well well lukey
what i got here
very funny may i have it back now sure
thing zelda
my name is not zelda okay zelda
is a girl's name do i look like a girl
to you no i'm sorry
i know what it's like to have an
embarrassing name my parents named me
after a color
they obviously named you after the food
now if you don't give me that key back
right this instant i'll be forced to use
this
go ahead take a stab fine by me
finally what a relief to be rid of that
guy
now the key must be inside one of these
pots
not in that one not in that one
not in that one either are you kidding
me
nope catch me if you can clay mine
over here i meant over here
man you're really bad at this zelda
i give up fine you win okay i'll just
stay here
no one will save princess zelda no one
will reassemble the scattered fragments
of the triforce of wisdom
and no one will defeat ganon fine wait
do you mean these scattered fragments of
the triforce of wisdom or are you
talking about some other scattered
fragments of the triforce of wisdom how
did you get these yes
yes yes those are the exact fragments
i am talking about oh nice you want them
i was just gonna throw these old things
out yes yes i want them oh god yes i
want them sure thing
here you go oh wait this one's actually
just a slice of cheese
still good okay five fragments this is
awesome
now are you sure you don't have any more
lying around
well i was using one as a butt scratcher
but you can have it
gee thanks and i like to use this one as
a toothpick
you use a triforce fragment
as a toothpick what it's super sharp and
i always get salami stuff between my
teeth
unless you want to get the salami stuck
between my teeth you know what i think
i'll pass
as will i
just a little passing gas humor
seriously though
seven this is incredible now think very
hard orange
where is the eighth triforce shard oh
that's easy i use that one as a doorstop
the final shard hoorah
thank you orange you've saved the
kingdom farewell and good morrow
i am off to save zelda and to defeat
oh wait i may have pulled that doorstop
out a bit
prematurely can i bother you for that
key ah
but it's my new butt scratcher orange
fine ha ha zelda here i come
that zelda guy really needs to stop
talking in the third person
[Music]
you