- In this video,
I'm gonna show you how to unleash the most magnetic,
non-attached energy that you can possibly imagine,
to show you how to release it from the inside, out,
stop tuning to other people,
stop releasing what is called needy energy,
which literally repels that which you want,
and it's gonna be a game changer for you.
Now, the first thing to realize when it comes
to non-attached, magnetic energy
is that it is void of something called neediness.
Now, non-neediness is magnetic.
Neediness literally repels.
Now, the thing to realize about non-needy,
non-attached energy is that attachment comes
from prior experience where a lot of the times, as kids,
our needs weren't met,
so then what we'd do is we search for it on the outside
and want other people to meet the needs
to close the loop from childhood.
So, let me say this another way.
Basically, what happens is,
we have these unmet childhood needs
that as kids, our just needs weren't met,
maybe it was validation, maybe it was approval.
So then what we'd do is when we're dating people,
we're searching for it.
We're wondering if they're gonna give it to us.
But remember, the more you want something,
the more you energetically are saying
you don't currently have it.
So, this is about understanding
that of vibrational resonance as well.
Now, one of the best ways to also think
about non-attached, magnetic energy
is that one is focused on,
when you talk about neediness versus non-neediness,
neediness is focused on outcome.
It's focused on transaction.
It's focused on exchange.
When you talk about non-needy energy,
non-needy energy is not attached to outcome.
Non-needy energy is present to the moment.
Non-needy energy is in their own frame.
The difference between these two energies
makes all the difference in the world,
and in order to unleash the non-attached, magnetic energy,
what has to be let go of is the attachment
to trying to manipulate the environment.
So, for example, for a long time,
as I've shared in many of my videos,
I was tuning to other people,
probably in a certain way too
because my ex-stepmom growing up, from seven to 15,
she was somebody that had such a strong frame,
'cause she's a narcissist,
so that was like my brother and I, in order to get by,
we had to be a certain way.
We had to stay outta the way in sometimes.
Sometimes we had to be a different way
in order to get our own needs met.
And in a weird way,
I think what that had me do as I grew up
is I would tune to other people
because in some weird way, that felt safe.
Even though my dad divorced her when I was 15 years old,
there was like something that felt safe
about living inside a little box of where somebody tells me
what I can and can't do.
So subconsciously, it felt familiar
for somebody else to dictate
what I was and wasn't allowed to do.
So after my ex-stepmom left my life at 15,
I attracted people into my life
to reflect that back that need.
I'd attract girlfriends that were very jealous,
managers that were very controlling,
other people that were controlling.
Why?
Because in a weird way, that felt familiar.
I had an attachment to a familiar energy
where I felt like I had to fight for my own freedom.
Now, in the same way,
I think because my ex-stepmom was so strict,
it was kinda like having an Army sergeant as a stepmom,
there was a part of me that believed
that in order to get love,
I had to be a certain way, I had to please other people.
I would have to not make them feel uncomfortable.
I'd have to be the most perfect version of myself.
And what that led to is that when I was dating people,
I would tune my own energy,
I would tune my own frame
to whatever everyone else wanted me to be,
which is a big burden.
And in order to get my own childhood needs met,
that meant that I had to please other people.
That meant that I was attached to what they thought of me.
Because if they thought negative of me,
that meant I wasn't gonna get my needs met.
That meant I wasn't gonna get approval or validation.
So in a weird way,
I would then attract people into my life
where I would seek their validation and their approval
in exchange for me being however
I thought they wanted me to be, for me to please them.
So, I would get validation, approval,
exchange for pleasing and like being really nice to them,
the people pleasing mentality.
Now, when it comes to non-attached, magnetic energy,
it's about healing, letting that go,
and being safe in your own frame.
Now, in order to do this,
the thing that changed everything for me,
is a couple years ago,
what happened was is I realized that I was tuning
to other people to get my own needs met.
I realized that even in conversation,
like there was so many times I would abandon myself
in order to appear a certain way.
And what I eventually had to do was pull my energy back,
literally had to pull my energy back
and I had to become more and more aware
of every time I'd be in conversation
and I would try to steer the conversation
to where it would make me feel comfortable
or trying to be a yes man to certain friends
and stuff like that.
The more I became aware of it,
the more I could then see, why the hell am I doing this?
And what I realized was that I was living according
to these values.
Values are what we deem important.
They're sort of like beliefs,
but they make up the virtue of how we show up in the world.
And what happens is most of our values
were instilled into us as a kid.
And if our needs weren't met as a kid,
we then took on some of the values
and made it very important to get that,
of validation, approval,
or whatever childhood need we felt wasn't met.
So then what happened is we're living according
to these outdated values
that have simply been on autopilot since childhood.
And for myself, I could see
that at a certain point in my past
when my ex-stepmom was doing her narcissistic BS stuff
and I was feeling insignificant,
I made it very important to feel significant.
So I valued significance.
I made it very important for me
to get other people's validation and approval,
which is also probably tied to the significance.
And that was my North Star.
If I could just do all of this,
then I would have my needs met, I would feel good enough.
And what ended up happening is that was higher
on the totem pole than that of authenticity
or even vulnerability.
And what I realized is that I was abandoning myself
in order to meet these values,
in order to live and get people's validation or approval
or feel significant.
And eventually what I did is I kept catching myself enough,
and eventually what happened was interesting.
I actually got very angry at myself.
I got angry at myself for every time I said yes
to something I didn't wanna do.
I got angry at myself for every time I allowed somebody
to treat me a certain way.
I became mad at myself really
because I allowed it to happen.
And what I eventually had to do is I had to,
I was hard on myself for awhile.
I'm like, "While the hell do I keep doing this?"
And then eventually I made the choice and I said,
"I'm not living according to these values anymore."
And I started to live according to the values
that I actually chose out of awareness.
So instead of significance, validation, and approval,
I started living to a higher,
the higher values of my own integrity,
which was vulnerability and authenticity.
Now, here's the interesting thing
about the approval, validation, significance.
All of those values were in place
because I felt I was broken.
I felt a level of shame.
I felt there's something wrong with me.
My parents divorced when I was seven years old.
My ex-stepmom came into the picture.
My dad allowed her to treat my brother and I like shit.
And why?
Probably because I'm not good enough.
Probably because there's something wrong with me.
So for so long,
to hide that shame,
to hide that level of belief that I'm broken,
I became the people pleaser,
the person that makes everybody happy,
the person that tries to be funny
and to get significance and all of this.
So it was a desperate attempt for me to avoid
the showing people that I'm broken.
So then what I did is I found the cure.
Wanna know what the cure to that is?
Can you guess?
It's opening up your heart and being vulnerable
and actually having the courage to show
that maybe I am broken,
to go into that.
Now, of course, the funny thing is that vulnerability
is the ability, vulnerability,
vulner means wound, ability is the ability
to go into the wound.
So what I started to do is to realize
that even in dating,
I used to have very depolarized relationships
because I would put someone else on a pedestool,
or pedestal, some people correct me when I say pedestool.
They're like, "It's not pedestool.
It's pedestal. (laughing)"
But what I would do is I would pet them on a pedestal,
and there, I would wanna do whatever they wanted to do,
which, of course,
means that wasn't really my masculine frame.
"Oh, this is the way you eat?
Okay, let's go to this type of restaurant,"
instead of being like, "What do I want?"
Not to be selfish, it doesn't mean be selfish,
be narcissist, but it means, in general,
the masculine energy is meant to be directional
and to help the feminine feel safe.
And I realized I wasn't doing that.
So what I started to do is I started to realize,
what is authentic for me?
And is starting living according to showing
and actually saying things,
even in groups of friends,
I'd normally hold myself back from saying certain things
because I didn't wanna get rejected
or I didn't wanna make people feel disapproved of me
if I said no to something that they wanted me to do.
And all of a sudden, I started to go inside my body
and I started to say, "What do I wanna do?"
And I started to actually just express it.
And that changed everything with this process
because I started to be the version of me
that was not abandoning myself.
I started to show my heart.
It takes vulnerability to go up and talk
to a girl you're attracted to or a guy you're attracted to.
It takes vulnerability to do that
because you could get rejected.
The old version of me was afraid of the rejection, though,
and I would wait a long time
before showing someone I was dating
that I had sexual interest
because I didn't wanna get rejected.
But then eventually, what happened is I started to realize
that that was me not being authentic.
It was me trying to manipulate.
Remember, the name of the game is,
when you do things to get a certain result,
that's manipulation, that's neediness.
So you're trying to get someone's validation,
someone to please them, someone's approval,
someone's significance, trying to get sex, even.
Those are all exchanges.
I'm gonna be nice to you so you're gonna do this thing.
Instead of being real, being authentic, being vulnerable,
expressing how you feel to someone else.
That changes everything.
So, attached energy is needy.
It is also attached to the outcome
in a sense that, think of this simply analogy right here,
expression versus impression.
Impression is outcome-based.
It says I'm gonna impress you.
I'm gonna make the impression that I'm a good person,
that you wanna date me.
That's attached to outcome.
Expression is very different.
Expression is in the present moment.
Expression is you're doing it because it's who you are.
You're expressing something about yourself.
So, the difference is when you focus less
on caring what other people think of you
and more on expressing the real you,
what you'll find is that you become way more authentic,
way less stifled, you're way more present to the moment,
and everything in your life then begins to change
because you've changed.
So, with this, realize that you have the ability
to tap into this energy right now
and also, that this is simply about
to stop abandoning yourself
and to start instead being in your own present energy
and doing things because you want to do them.
The other part of this is being present.
Now, something that is coming on Monday the 15th
is for the first time,
I am opening what is called the Magnetic Mastery Membership.
This is a community of like-minded people
where we're all focused on becoming
the most magnetic versions of ourselves.
Every single week, we are gonna be meeting via Zoom.
We're gonna be doing live coaching.
We're gonna be doing that of accountability groups.
We're gonna be doing that of different meditations
so that we can become the most magnetic version of ourselves
from the inside, out.
So if you wanna let go of codependent energy,
let go of neediness,
if you wanna become and unleash the most magnetic,
non-attached version of you
by being vulnerable, by going after your purpose,
by living with courage, by having self-acceptance,
by feeling worthy, that's what we're gonna be focused on
every single week.
And for the first time ever,
we're opening it up so that if you join,
you become what is called a founding member.
That means you're one of the first people to join,
and you get to help set the energy of the group
because eventually, there'll be thousands of people
in the group.
And you're able to also to be way more intimate
to where you're more likely to get coached
and a lot of other things.
So, if you want to join,
all you gotta do is you can sign up below
by clicking up the link.
And when and on the 15th,
you'll have the ability to join.
So if you sign up below, I'll send you the link on the 15th.
There'll be five days to join.
That'll be open enrollment for the founding members.
And other than that, I'm super excited.
This is a membership that's only $29 a month
for weekly live coaching, for a community of people.
You may even meet people in your own city.
There's a place in the app
and in the community to check and to see
who lives close to you.
It's a really cool vibe.
I cannot wait.
So that comes on that of August 15th.
So, keep a lookout for it.
Other than that, if you want to look and to see
the five secrets to letting go that make you magnetic AF,
check out this video right here.
It's one of y most powerful videos.
In this video, I wanna share you five secrets
to letting go that will make you more attractive
and that will completely transform your life.
And when you start applying them, it changes everything.
Because you start realizing who you really are
and you start letting go.