- DO YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR DREAMS?
YOU HAVE FRIENDS TALK ABOUT THEIR DREAMS AND STUFF?
YEAH, YEAH. BORING.
[cheers and applause]
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE CLAPPING.
IT'S BORING.
[cheers and applause]
BUT I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT A DREAM I HAD LAST NIGHT.
AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, FRIDAY WAS THE LAST DAY
OF OUR 12 DAYS OF GIVEAWAYS.
AND--I KNOW. IT WAS FUN.
WE HAD SO MUCH FUN. YOU MISSED IT BY ONE DAY.
THE WORST.
I MEAN, TO THINK THAT YOU HAD TO--
ANYWAY, IT WAS FUN, BUT EXHAUSTING.
WE DIDN'T EVEN TAKE OUR DECORATIONS DOWN,
'CAUSE WE'RE SO TIRED.
THE ONLY THING THAT'S GONE IS OUR TOYS FOR TOTS.
THIS YEAR, WE RAISED OVER $3 MILLION IN TOYS.
[cheers and applause]
IT'S REALLY GREAT.
WELLS FARGO WANTED TO MAKE
THE HOLIDAY SEASON A LITTLE MORE SPECIAL,
SO THEY SENT THEIR STAGECOACH
TO TAKE THE TOYS AWAY TO THE KIDS WHO NEED THEM.
AND THAT'S SWEET.
I WOULD'VE INVITED THE KIDS HERE,
BUT I LIKE TO KEEP THE PLACE NICE.
[laughter]
ANYWAY, BACK TO MY DREAM.
I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT.
IT WAS 12 DAYS, BUT IT WASN'T 12 DAYS, YOU KNOW?
AND MY WHOLE AUDIENCE SHOWED UP,
AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS 12 DAYS,
AND--WOW, A LOT OF Y'ALL WERE IN THIS DREAM.
IT'S SO WEIRD. I'M LOOKING AROUND.
ANYWAY...
[cheers and applause]
GOD, WEARING THE SAME THING. IT'S SO WEIRD.
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
BUT ONE OF YOU WAS A CLOWN,
AND YOU STARTED CHASING ME, 'CAUSE I HAD TO TELL YOU
IT WASN'T 12 DAYS ANYMORE.
IT WAS A NIGHTMARE. REALLY, IT'S--
AND NOW HERE I AM LIVING IT,
BECAUSE I SAID 12 DAYS ENDED YESTERDAY,
SO THAT'S A SHAME.
BUT YOU PROBABLY HAD DREAMS LAST NIGHT, RIGHT?
YOU PROBABLY CAME TO THE SHOW THINKING,
"OH, I'M DREAMING THAT MAYBE
THERE'S AN EXTRA DAY OF GIVEAWAYS SOMEHOW,"
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
[cheers and applause]
NO. THAT'S A SHAME.
THAT WAS A DREAM THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.
WOW. I LIKE TO MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE.
LET'S MAKE TODAY DAY 13 OF 12 DAYS OF GIVEAWAYS.
[cheers and applause]
[singing] - IT'S THE MOST
WONDERFUL TIME
OF THE YEAR
- THIS IS DANCER.
[cheers and applause]
DO I EVEN HAVE TO ASK WHAT THE DANCE IS TODAY?
SHOW US.
[percussive pop music]
[cheers and applause]
[percussive pop music]
[cheers and applause]
IT SOUNDED LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON MUSIC.
ALL RIGHT.
SO FOR THIS SURPRISE BONUS DAY,
I HAVE SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS FOR YOU.
YOU MAY NOT THINK OF SHELL GASOLINE AS LUXURIOUS,
BUT IT IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR CAR.
[cheers and applause]
FOR A LIMITED TIME,
THEY HAVE PARTNERED WITH MASTERCARD,
AND WHEN YOU SIGN UP FOR THEIR FUEL REWARDS PROGRAM,
YOU CAN SAVE UP TO 60 CENTS PER GALLON
WHEN YOU SHOP AT PARTICIPATING STORES,
LIKE J.C. PENNY AND TOYS 'R US.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU?
YOU'RE ALL GETTING A $250 SHELL GIFT CARD.
[cheers and applause]
IF THERE'S ONE THING I LOVE MORE THAN DRIVING,
IT'S BLOW-DRYING MY LONG, BEAUTIFUL HAIR,
AND THE LAST FEW YEARS, DRY BAR HAS REVOLUTIONIZED
THE WAY WOMEN GET THEIR HAIR DID.
THEY HAVE OVER 40 LOCATIONS,
AND THEIR POPULAR BIG HAIR, DON'T CARE PRODUCTS
MAKE THE PERFECT GIFT FOR HOLIDAYS.
GET READY TO BLOW OUT YOUR HAIR
WITH THIS $250 DRY BAR GIFT CARD.
[cheers and applause]
- [laughs]
- [speaking indistinctly]
- DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU?
- [laughs]
- YOU'RE A DOLL. YOU'RE A DOLL.
- OKAY.
[laughs]
[sighs]
[cheers and applause]
[laughing]
[laughs]
ALL RIGHTY.
[laughs]
NO, LEAVE HER THERE.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE TV?
HULU--
HULU IS THE ONLY ONLINE SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE
THAT OFFERS HUNDREDS OF CURRENT TV SHOWS
YOU CAN CATCH ANYTIME, ANYWHERE,
ON ALL YOUR DEVICES.
WATCH SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS LIKE--
LIKE "MODERN FAMILY," "THE GOOD WIFE,"
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE, "SCANDAL,"
STARRING MY WIFE PORTIA DE ROSSI.
[cheers and applause]
YOU'RE ALL GETTING A THREE-YEAR HULU GIFT CARD.
[cheers and applause]
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS ABOUT ME,
BUT I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS,
ESPECIALLY THE ONES AT UNIVERSAL.
I HAVE TAKEN OUR SHOW THERE FOUR TIMES,
AND WE HAVE HAD SO MUCH FUN.
THEY HAVE SOMETHING FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY.
IN ADDITION TO THEIR INSANELY POPULAR
HARRY POTTER ATTRACTIONS,
THEY HAVE EXCITING RIDES LIKE JURASSIC PARK,
SHREK 4-D, TRANSFORMERS, AND DESPICABLE ME.
YOU'RE ALL GETTING TWO SEASON PASSES
TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS ORLANDO OR HOLLYWOOD.
[cheers and applause]
FINALLY, YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING
WHAT ALL THESE AMAZING PICTURES ARE.
PHOTOS.COM BY GETTY IMAGES HAS BEAUTIFUL PHOTOGRAPHS
FROM THE MOST ICONIC PHOTOGRAPHERS IN THE WORLD.
I OWN THIS PHOTOGRAPH RIGHT THERE
BY SLIM AARONS.
FEATURING A WIDE VARIETY OF SIZES AND MATERIALS,
THE PHOTOS ARE PROFESSIONALLY FRAMED,
DELIVERED RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR.
THESE ARE ALL FEATURED AS PART
OF THEIR BEST OF 2014 COLLECTION,
WHICH YOU CAN SHOP FOR ON PHOTOS.COM
WITH YOUR $250 AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARD.
[cheers and applause]
WE WILL BE BACK.
[cheers and applause]