Hello underachievers!
So, I've been on the Internet for a long time,
a really long time.
I started off as a fan account for bands and for musicians
and then, when I was around 15,
I started, you know, growing an audience of my own
for some reason.
That was six years ago.
I'm 21.
Clearly, I'm not the same person I was back then,
a lot has happened.
But there are a lot of people out there
that only recognize the version of me that was a piece of *cuack*
I can fully acknowledge that I was not good.
I wasn't the worst of the worst,
I wasn't like racist or anything.
I don't know how everyone's managed to have a racist scandal I don't,
I don't understand that!
But you know, I was mean and I was stupid and I was selfish
and I really projected my own issues onto other people.
I was an edgy teenager and I had a lot of,
I had a lot of issues!
So I think I've made two videos similar to this.
I decided to make yet another one because
I was going through all my old videos to try and see, you know,
what kind of stuff I could make for the future
and I came across a few videos
that I just
completely disagree with everything I said in those videos.
I since private a lot of those videos
just because there's no reason for them to be out there.
I shouldn't be getting money from them
and they don't reflect who I am today so,
why would I leave them there?
But I don't really want to just leave it
and pretend that I didn't say that stuff because
I DID say that stuff and I feel like
I can learn from it,
I'm sure other people can.
I've also had a few articles written about me recently
in like the music world and
a lot of people that wouldn't have seen me in years
have seen those articles and been like
"Oh my God!"
Like "He was a dick".
They'll be like "Oh my God,
I remember this guy he said 'this' to me
and in which I was like..."
I don't remember a lot of the stuff that they were saying I said but,
to be honest, I probably trust their memory over mine.
Obviously I want to clear up some of the stuff that I said in the past because
Why would I not?
But I also think this is a really healthy exercise
for anybody to do,
not just somebody with an audience.
I think looking back at some of the stuff you said in the past
and, you know,
looking back at how you dealt with stuff in the past,
it's like a good way to grow from your mistakes.
Obviously I'm far from perfect,
now, believe me, I know this
and obviously times have changed from 2016 to 2018 to 2020.
There are some things that you could say in 2014
that you would not even dream of
thinking nowadays.
And I'm definitely not saying "Oh my God
I missed the days when I could say that"
Because that's dumb as hell.
It's editing Noah,
I just want to say that, obviously,
the stuff I said wasn't the worst thing you could ever say
in the world.
But I obviously have a responsibility to not say
stuff like that
with the audience I have.
I just think it was irresponsible.
Oh yeah and this video isn't about stuff I said
when i was like 14, 15.
This is about stuff from more recently
So, if you're expecting it to be like
terrible,
then like
I don't know what to tell you.
But just watch,
you can learn I guess.
That sounds patronizing.
We can all learn.
I can acknowledge that some of the stuff I said in the past
will have definitely negatively affected some people and
I want to say I'm sorry for that.
But I don't really just want to let that slip and pretend it didn't happen
because who's is that helping?
It's not helping anyone.
What I'm saying is check yourself, okay?
It's healthy.
So before I get into the bulk of this video,
there are a few things that I remember saying
that I can't find tweets or videos of
to like put in the video,
but I do want to definitely talk about them.
I remember saying that I don't like
when people use neopronouns,
really not that long ago.
I can't find a video where I said that,
if someone's found it please let me know.
I also probably delete the tweets about that, I've looked to them.
I just wanted to clear up,
it is obviously not down to me, to determine
what pronouns somebody else uses.
If you are more comfortable with neopronouns,
hell yeah, like go you, use them.
It doesn't bother me, it really doesn't affect me.
I don't know how I convinced myself that it did.
I was,
I was proper sure that it was making the trans community look like a joke
which is so stupid
because it's not like
trans people's responsibility for transphobes like...
People are going to be transphobic regardless of what pronouns you use
so just use the pronouns. Why would you not?
So I have two things I want to address today:
One of them is the video I made about he/him lesbians,
we'll talk about that later,
but the thing I want to talk about now
is my old idea of pansexuality versus
bisexuality.
My old opinion on it.
So I found this video I posted at the beginning of 2019,
I think it was January,
which is really, really, not that long ago.
That's nearly only two years ago, that is terrifying
and the fact that half the *cuack* I said in that video
I just disagree with now is like scary,
but also I guess it's a good thing.
I don't think I was like the worst person,
that's not what I'm saying,
but like, some of the stuff I said, I just like
I wish I didn't because it's not,
it's not my business.
So pansexuality versus bisexuality.
So I've kind of delved into this more recently
I made a video called
"Trans attraction doesn't make you pansexual"
I think that's what it was called.
I think it's worth watching,
a lot of people have misconceptions about what pansexuality is
and what being attracted to trans people makes you.
I'll link it in the description.
I'll dive deeper into my current opinion on
pansexuality versus bisexuality in a second,
but first I just want to give you the definitions
of both those sexualities.
Pansexuality is "sexual,
romantic or emotional attraction
towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity.
Pansexual people may refer to themselves as gender-blind,
asserting that gender and sex are not determining factors
in their romantic or sexual attraction to others."
So that's what pansexuality is
pretty much it just means that the gender of a person
is irrelevant to a pansexual
when it comes to them being attracted to the person.
Whereas bisexuality is
"the quality or characteristic of being sexually attracted
not exclusively to people of one particular gender."
Obviously there is a lot of similarity
between the two sexualities,
so people can be confused between the two.
but you know,
they're just labels.
They're just words.
People want to use them.
Go ahead.
So here's what I said in that video I was talking about.
I got a lot of comments that kind of said the same thing,
people were saying pansexuality and bisexuality are the same thing.
People were saying pansexuality is a snowflake term for bisexuality.
"Pansexuality doesn't exist because
it's the same as bisexuality."
I don't know!
People are probably gonna be mad at me about this,
but I kind of agree, slightly.
Like I know the difference between
pansexuality and bisexuality.
Bisexuality means you like two or more genders.
I used to think it was just two genders,
because "bi" means two,
but apparently it's two or more now
and pansexuality is where you're attracted to people
regardless of their gender.
I just think there is just,
just woke bi, pansexual just woke bi.
Bi means two or more now, so there's no reason
to say you're pan, it's...
I don't know!
If you say you're pan, good for you!
I really couldn't give less of a sh[ ],
like I don't care.
Just wanna say right now that obviously pansexuality
isn't just "woke bi".
At this point in time my opinion is that
it doesn't really matter what you label your sexuality.
Labels are just labels.
Labels are just words.
Obviously some people are gonna be more comfortable calling themselves bi
and some people will be more comfortable calling themselves pan.
Who cares?
Like, who cares?
And I understand that "bi" means "two",
but funnily enough like language has evolved over time,
was always changing meaning,
there's no point getting upset about it.
At this point the agreed idea of bisexuality is
that you're attracted to two or more genders.
Why would you spend your time worrying about this?
Alfie! What are you doing?
He really just knocked Pennywise
off my table.
What are you doing?
Why did you do that?
There's another Pennywise...
Oh, I left some bread.
You could have just taken the bread.
Now he's eating it.
Where was I?
Honestly the word "bisexual" can mean something completely different
to different people like
my definition of bisexual is that, you know,
I am definitely bisexual.
I am attracted to men,
I'm attracted to women,
I'm attracted to non-binary people.
But I am 99% attracted to men,
which means that, you know,
non-binary people and girls, I am still attracted to them,
but, you know, I'm just mostly attracted to men.
Some people may think that being bisexual means
that you have to have the split attraction
which I think is bullshit,
but I'm sure some people hold that idea.
Some people would just say I'm gay
because the 1% attraction to people other than men
doesn't warrant the, you know,
me, labeling myself bi.
But, whatever, I don't care.
I also went on to say this about pansexuality:
I'm not really a fan of the term "pansexual"
because a lot of people nowadays think that
being pan means you're also attracted to trans people
and it kind of separates
trans people from cis people
and puts them as their own separate gender
which they're not.
I'm a dude, I'm not just a trans dude.
I'm not a separate gender.
I just think it's unnecessary.
But again, you want to call yourself pan?
Go ahead! I don't care!
My opinion on that now is just like "shut up".
It is not the fault of pansexuals that people misinterpret what pansexuality is.
Sure some people think that being attracted to trans people
makes you pan, but they're wrong.
So, on to he/him lesbians.
Last year I made a video about he/him lesbians.
If you don't know what he/him lesbian is,
pretty much it's just a woman,
a lesbian,
who feels disconnected to womanhood,
so uses he/him pronouns.
At the time of me making this video
a lot of trans people were making videos about he/him lesbians
just sh[ ] on he/him lesbians.
And I thought that maybe I could go at it with a nicer approach
I did mean well when I made the video,
believe it or not.
Obviously my intentions are irrelevant
because that's not what came across a lot of people.
But I structured the video by:
First, stating what he/him lesbians were,
why lesbians might use he/him pronouns,
but then,
the second half of the video was me
just talking about my opinion in which,
I don't, it wasn't needed.
I didn't really need to give my opinion.
My mistake was assuming that my opinion was relevant
or needed at all.
Like absolutely, you can have an opinion
on anything you want,
but that does not mean that your opinion matters.
Like several TERF's think that I am just a confused lesbian
and I'm gonna, you know,
detransition in a few years.
They can have that opinion,
it doesn't make it valid.
I'm just gonna briefly go over what I said in that video
and then, tell you guys,
how I feel about it now.
So there were three main reasons in my video
why I had an issue with lesbians using he/him pronouns,
so let's get into them.
So, number one:
I said that he/she pronouns are gendered,
it doesn't make sense for women to use these pronouns
and masculine women can just use she/her
and still be masculine.
Masculine.
And like, obviously, most pronouns are gendered.
he and she pronouns are 99% used
for like guys and girls.
What I say now is that I don't understand
why I cared that lesbians were using he/him pronouns?
Doesn't really matter that he/him pronouns are 99% used for men
because like
who cares?
Using he/him pronouns makes lesbians more comfortable,
then why should I give a sh[ ]?
At the end of the day, their goal is
to be comfortable,
it's not to be understood.
Like I chop my titties off,
a lot of people are not gonna understand that
and that's fine because I did it for myself.
I did it because it made me comfortable.
I didn't do it so that other people would be like:
"Oh yes, now he's a man".
You know? Like I did that for me
and that's probably the same thing for he/him lesbians.
That's why they use those pronouns.
I feel like a recurring theme in all these things
is that I just shoved my nose in other people's business
when it really wasn't.
It was not useful for me to do that.
So, the second reason I had a problem with
he/him lesbians was:
I said it made a mockery of trans people.
I said it invalidates the struggle that trans people have with dysphoria
and gives off the impression that AFAB's (Assigned-Female-At-Birth)
who use he/him pronouns are women
because they have female genitalia.
I think the point I was trying to make was
that trans guys have female genitalia
if they don't have bottom surgery
and so do he/him lesbians
and, in my brain, I was like:
"Well, people aren't going to distinguish between the two
and they're just gonna see our genitalia
and assume that, you know,
that we're the same thing".
So I'm just going to clear up,
lesbians using he/him pronouns does not make a mockery of trans people
actually has like, really nothing to do with us,
at all.
Stop, stop,
Karen, I know you're putting effort into,
Karen, but you don't need to.
I don't know why I thought trans people
were in charge of pronouns as if
like nobody else apart from trans people have pronouns.
But pronouns, obviously, everybody's got them!
Calm down Noah!
I honestly don't know why
"it makes us look bad"
was my argument for so much
I don't see how some woman using he/him pronouns
means that all trans guys are women.
And again, I don't know why I made it about trans people.
At the time I genuinely did think
I did think that it made a mockery of trans people.
I thought it made us look silly
and like they're invalidating our struggles.
I understand why I thought that,
but like, really, like I just needed to calm down.
I just had to think about it a bit more.
I would hope that people respect my choices to, you know,
transition, because it made me comfortable.
I don't think it's that hard to respect
he/him lesbians, you know?
Choice to use those pronouns
because it makes them comfortable.
And my final reason for having an issue with it, back then, was that:
I said it doesn't actually empower women.
I said that when you're denouncing womanhood in your language,
you're announcing the power that you have as a woman.
I said that you could be a powerful woman
and still use she/her pronoun.
I assumed that, in their brain,
the only way to be powerful
was to use he/him pronouns
and be more like a man.
First off, I don't know why I thought
it would be a good idea to dictate
what is empowering to women when I'm not even a woman.
Like I understand where I was coming from,
that does not mean that where I was coming from
is an excuse, or like, valid at all.
I understand why I could think that,
but again like,
it's not my business to be telling people
what they can do with their life.
I had approached it from a, like,
"protect trans people" point of view,
in which, it was just unnecessary.
Bro! No! You can't have apples!
No, no, no, no,
you can eat apple.
Sorry about that, go on.
Good boy.
I think that's all I have to say.
I'm sure like, this is gonna become like, a thing that I do
every now and then.
That's not to say that I'm actively gonna do stuff wrong and like,
upset people and, you know,
have to make a video about it.
I just think it's a good idea to, you know,
think about stuff you've done,
think about how you could have done it better
and apologize to people you hurt.
Doesn't matter if you intended to hurt them,
you still, still happened, okay?
But, yeah! Let me know what you think in the comments!
Have a good day, or don't.
See you later, losers!
Goodbye.
I hope you're doing good.
You should do good and if you're not,
have hug.
There you go.
I'm feeling so big brothery right now, I don't even have a younger sibling.