Hey, does this make me look fat?
All right, so I just unboxed this body armor,
which finally arrived after a week of
inexplicable delays, and confusion, and having to call UPS twice because they have no idea what they are doing apparently.
*sigh* But that's a rant for another time. So...um yeah. This is made by Lord of Battles.
They call it a Brigandine, but it really looks more like a poor man's coat of plates.
A coat of plates and Brigandine
look similar at first glance. The Brigandine is a later development. It can look fairly similar.
Here a few examples of a coat of plates and Brigandine.
A Brigandine, as you can see, often has a larger number of smaller plates made of iron or steel.
And it's not sandwiched between layers of fabric, which, here, is the case.
They just took rectangular steel plates of uniform shape and size,
riveted them in the four corners, and...that's that.
It's not very sophisticated.
Now, it *is* comparatively cheap. This was only
165 US dollars if I remember correctly and
for an armor reproduction that is comparatively cheap.
Armor can get fairly expensive quickly, but...
Even though they probably intended this to be used for
Practice with blunt weapons--well, I say "probably"--Of course
they didn't make this to be used with actual sharp and pointy blades like crazy people.
But...
Either way, I can't help but be frustrated by how much this fails as an armor design.
I mean, you've got the plates here--I'm just gonna grab a hold of two plates, so you can see that--
Right here,
there's nothing in between.
Absolutely nothing in the center. I could have noticed that when looking at the pictures
but I just...expected them to put another plate here.
I couldn't believe that this would just be left completely open, but...that's what it is.
So...
This makes it highly inefficient against a variety of attacks
with sharp blades in particular. So on the original armor the plates
overlapped, or at least were very close together. In this case, between the individual plates,
there's at least a finger width of space between these two--you know,
not to mention this massive gap in the front here.
So...I mean--sure, if a horizontal or vertical cut comes in--like this.
Yeah, it'll catch on one or more of the plates.
In this case that actually went in between the plates --or at least, that's what it felt like.
So, if you get hit in the right spot, it doesn't hurt.
Even if I whack myself fairly hard, it doesn't bother me.
Here, on the other hand,
That's not good at all because the sternum is essentially exposed and
direct hits on bone, of course, are not exactly fun times.
Not to mention that the heart--even though the tip of the heart points to the left and
more of the mass is on the left side, a lot of it is actually in the center--
So, the heart is largely unprotected with this.
Which is a very strange choice.
I mean, it's a budget choice, let's face it.
And, of course, thrusts...yeah, no chance with this. I mean even if a thrust
lands on a plate--if you're unlucky,
it'll skid off and just go in between the gaps anyway.
So...
Thrusts will just go right through as if this wasn't even there.
With synthetic practice swords like this, that's not a problem.
They're designed to flex.
So if you take a hard thrust, you'd be okay.
However, if you took a thrust with a stiffer blade right on the sternum...
That would be painful to say the least.
I will say that it's pretty effective against blunt impacts
in combination with the gambeson because the hard plates
dissipate the energy and the padding underneath cushions it.
So, you can take reasonably hard hits to this and you'll be fine.
But I don't think this should be called a coat of plates, let alone a Brigandine.
There's nothing historically accurate about this. The only historical thing about it,
essentially, is the basic idea of
smaller separate plates combined,
as opposed to one solid breast plate. But that's about where it ends.
Now, on the upside,
it's pretty comfortable to wear. No complaints here.
Now it gets pretty hot in here and with the gambeson as well.
I mean, the gambeson in it of itself already gets pretty hot, but this just adds yet another layer.
So that's the main source of discomfort.
Otherwise, weight wise this is very light.
I mean, this uses less steel than it should, so, it's really no big deal at all.
It's essentially like a like wearing a very sturdy, thick, winter coat. Something like that.
And otherwise mobility.
I know that this gambeson here does restrict my mobility to an extent.
Like...I can't lift my arms higher than this.
And of course there's a certain amount of bulk to it.
But it's not that big of a deal so,
it's reasonably
easy to wear.
As far as getting into it and out of it,
it can be a little finicky.
I really don't like that they put the straps--the buckle straps here--on the side.
How many historical coats of plates were often closed in the back?
Which is fine if you have someone to do that for you,
but later Brigandines are quite often closed in the front.
So this is where the straps really need to be to make it easier.
*This* is really inconvenient and fiddly, so not really a fan of that.
In fact, I'm going to show you how easy or not easy it is to get out of here.
So the lower ones are
okay,
generally.
But the problem is I can essentially not see anything.
Even if I crane my neck down, I can barely see that one.
The bottom one is fine.
That one I can see, and it's not that hard to deal with.
The top one
I don't know. I'm not even gonna bother with, because this is really hard to open that way, let alone close.
And, the other major issue with this is the opening for the head is...really narrow.
I mean admittedly,
I've got quite a large head, but this is just crazy tight.
Well, I just tried to get out of this without
opening that top strap, but...
Nope.
Ain't happening.
Come on now.
It's so annoying.
It really is irritating that they put that on the side. Makes it much harder to deal with.
I'm just gonna fiddle with this a bit longer, and if I'm not getting anywhere, I'll call Cara.
Squire!
There, got it.
Okay. So...
Now I have to contend with this problem here.
I may choke and sculpt myself a little bit trying to get out of here.
So as far as the size is concerned, this is supposed to be small/medium and
the sizing is clearly
given with
padding in mind underneath.
Because I generally have a size medium for clothing and
even with the gambeson, this is still kind of large.
And this is already on the smallest holes here.
I can poke additional ones in there. So, you can adjust it.
But if you usually have a size small clothing then
you need a pretty substantial gambeson to make this fit.
Otherwise, it'll be too large.
It's not heavy at all,
but
there aren't too many other positive things I could say about it.
It's just...it falls flat as a reproduction of this kind of armor.
It doesn't look much like it.
The only worse [things] I've seen so far [are] the ones that just have leather rectangles on top
which is even less protection.
So, again,
for practice with blunt swords, this may be just fine.
And I can only imagine that this is what they have in mind.
But otherwise it's just the poor man's version.
Anyway, for me, this was definitely a disappointment because I was looking for armor to do tests on,
and this is just *waves hand dismissively*.
It's so far from historically accurate that there isn't much point to it.
You can't really draw any conclusions from a test like that.That would be just for entertainment alone.
Which is all fine and good, but I was just hoping to get a little more out of it.
And I mean, this would just be a gamble, depending on where
the bolt strikes, or the arrow, or the blade. It may protect [you],
or it may do absolutely nothing and [the armor may] get completely bypassed.
So...
yeah, it's not gonna be great for tests.
Fortunately, I also [have] some other armor. You'll see that--
--I was gonna say soon, but who knows with the weather lately.
It still been just
impossible to find an opportunity to actually record outside.
But anyway, before it gets too rambly, thanks for watching.