I wasn't allowed to be a human.
I was a topic of conversation and gossip and punchlines.
It's just a few drops, but yes,
we do consume each other's blood
on occasion for ritual purposes.
I know I can't protect them forever.
Hi, I'm Megan Fox and this is my GLAMOUR Unfiltered.
The first time around
when I was dealing like, with astronomical levels of fame,
that in itself is a type of trauma,
that level of fame is a traumatic event.
My psychological type is not an introvert,
but fame made me introverted.
And if you're delicate or sensitive at all,
I think it's a really hard thing to go through.
And so I shut down a lot
and sort of retreated from everything
and was essentially in hiding for several years of my life.
And then due to unforeseen events,
sort of got dragged back out into the spotlight again.
I think I'm so much better equipped now
to deal with it and to experience it
in a way where I can actually enjoy some of it.
I was ahead of the #MeToo movement by almost a decade.
I was sort of speaking out against some of the abusive,
misogynistic, patriarchal things that were going on
in Hollywood back in 2008 and 2009,
way before people were ready to embrace that or tolerate it.
And I actually got ridiculed for doing it.
And I think, you know, people just had time to
review that, like in retrospect, to look back and go,
'Oh, she was actually saying a lot of the same things
that all of these people are saying now
and she was sort of persecuted for that
and it was probably not the most loving, kind,
transcendent way to deal with her' - me.
I didn't feel like I was accepted by
much of the feminist community.
Me being a mirror for those particular people,
whatever I provoke in them
is not something that they can digest very well
and so that comes back on me
as they reject me for those reasons.
I just didn't think that I was a very sympathetic victim
and so I didn't want to speak out,
because I didn't feel like it would be received
in a positive way.
And I honestly I still don't think it would be.
I still do a lot of things that are so provocative
for some reason, regardless of which community it is.
I was being celebrated as being a feminist
until I had the nerve to call my boyfriend, 'Daddy',
and then a lot of people got upset about that.
Which I think is a funny conversation to actually have
like, because that goes into allowing women to be,
women allowing us to experience
what we want and like what we like, that is feminism.
I don't know if the psychological breakdown was
strictly related to being objectified,
I think it was more related to just being dehumanised.
I have social media, but I don't personally use it.
I have somebody who posts for me
and I decide what I wanna say,
but I don't actually physically do it myself because
I think it's sinister, I think it's evil.
And I don't think people understand we've
come to this place where we grasp, like, 'Bullying is bad,'
but then when it comes to a celebrity
all of that is thrown out the window.
Maybe it was worse back then.
I actually don't think so.
I think with the invention of social media,
it's so accessible now that it's much worse,
but it was more the negativity
that was constantly being spewed towards me
or directed towards me.
It doesn't even require somebody
to actually say something directly to me.
It doesn't require me to read it.
But when so many people around the world
are thinking about you or have negative thoughts
or intentions towards you, that energy permeates me,
it penetrates me.
I don't have boundaries and walls for that,
I am still human.
I am still fragile in that way,
I can feel and that was more of the struggle,
it wasn't related to anything specific,
it was just that I wasn't allowed to be a human
because I was a topic of conversation and gossip
and punchlines.
I'm just so much more grounded
and I identify so much more with, not with my ego,
more with my soul.
And I'm able to separate a lot of the things
that are happening and realise that they're not real.
Everything that I experience as a struggle
or painful is an opportunity for growth,
an opportunity for a lesson, for learning, for transcending.
And so my perception is different,
my approach is different
and that allows for my experience to be different obviously.
I think there's a fear that's very present,
so no one wants to be the person to do something
that then it comes back on them that they're outed
or they're getting cancelled.
In acting, at least in that part of Hollywood,
it has been one way for so long.
If a woman comes on a set and is like,
"I don't like this shot.
I don't like this scene.
I don't like this dialogue.
We have to work on this.
We have to change this."
That still perceived as her being a high-maintenance b*tch,
versus when a man comes on a set and says the same things,
everybody's like, "Oh, f*ck, yeah, you're right,
no, you're right, no, you're right.
We've gotta rewrite the scene, it's not right."
He's respected as an artist,
he's respected as knowing what he wants.
That's still very present.
The regret I have is that my personality
is so lost on people, like my sense of humour is lost,
my intelligence is not acknowledged.
Sometimes, I feel like I just waste my energy
giving myself to people
who don't understand and won't appreciate.
But I've never had anything where I look back now
and I'm like, 'I really shouldn't have done,
I really shouldn't have said...'
because even the terrible things
caused me to do so much work on myself.
I mean, that's what he says,
he says that he - and I do believe this - was like
"Even the day before I was trying to basically quit the
movie" and his best friend, Rook, his drummer,
and then also his manager, Ashleigh, were both like,
"but your scenes with Megan Fox...",
and he was like,
"F*ck it, I'll get on the plane."
And I had a reverse experience
where I didn't know why I was taking the movie.
I just knew something
about... I needed to do it for some reason.
And then when I was in the table read
there was still one character that hadn't been cast.
And I was like, who's playing that character?
And they were like, "Oh, Machine Gun Kelly,"
and I like, kind of knew the name
but didn't, so I'm like, Machine Gun Kelly,
I, like, look it up and I was like,
'Oh, f*ck, we're gonna be in so much trouble,
'cause he's literally like my exact physical type
that I've been manifesting since I was four.
I'm also four years older than him
so I think I made him my thoughts and intentions
grew him into the person that he is,
who knows what he would've looked like
or been like if it wasn't for me?
I guess 'drank each other's blood' might
mislead people, or like people are imagining us with goblets
and we're like Game of Thrones drinking each other's blood.
It's just a few drops.
But yes, we do consume each other's blood on occasion,
for ritual purposes only.
It is used for a reason
and it is controlled where it's like,
'let's shed a few drops of blood and each drink it.
He's much more haphazard and hectic and chaotic,
where he's willing to just like
cut his chest open with broken glass and be like,
"Take my soul.
Let me bleed on you."
It doesn't not happen, let me tell you,
maybe not exactly like that,
but a version of that has happened - and many times.
The most romantic thing he's ever done for me,
that's hard to say, he is -
this is gonna mean nothing to people that don't study this -
but he has so much Piscean energy. He's so romantic.
It would be hard to say,
but we keep this journal
that we've kept since the day we met each other
and it's just filled of, like, our thoughts and our feelings
and our poetry.
I think Pam and Tommy were twin flames,
I think that they were soulmates.
Kurt and Courtney is a darker version of the same thing.
So, I think when you find people that come together
that whose souls have known each other
who have like travelled here to do this again,
there's something undeniable about that.
And again, it can provoke a positive feeling
in you or it could provoke a very negative feeling,
because it is a mirror of what you
don't have or think that you don't want.
I just think that it's hard to ignore
that kind of a connection and that kind of love
regardless of if you find it toxic or not,
that's irrelevant.
We don't have, like, a lot of double dates.
We're not doing that.
Between all of us there's, like, 900 kids.
So people aren't really, like, double dating,
out here a lot. They're like magnetically -
they're like this - all the time.
So nobody's, like, really interacting
with them too much, because they're just like stuck.
They're stuck together like this.
This is a very intense relationship and it's cyclical,
and so it gets to these points where, like,
we have to do cleansings.
I had gotten to a point where I was like,
we need an adrenaline injection of God in this relationship.
And so we went to Costa Rica
and we had Peruvian shamans
who administered the ayahuasca
and we each went in with different questions
that we wanted the medicine to answer for us.
And it was incredibly intense -
the whole experience, like the fasting leading up to it,
the diet changes,
you're not allowed to drink water after 5pm,
you are in the middle of the jungle.
And I had my questions and my goals,
and then he went and he sat to be given his ayahuasca
and everybody else was being given one glass of ayahuasca,
'cause it was our first night.
And the shaman says something in her native language.
And then the interpreter is like,
"We need to give you three doses, because you have such a
dark, sad spirit standing behind you."
Like an actual, like, demonic spirit hovering over him.
To no one's surprise, anyone that knows him.
We're all like... No, when I tell that story,
nobody's like, "Oh, my God!"
Everybody's like, "Mmm hmm, and then what?"
'Cause we all know that.
It bound us together in a way, like that's an experience
that such a few amount of people have in general,
to do it together as a couple
and then also our journey that we were doing
it was affecting the other couples,
the other people who were there.
So it was prophetic in a lot of ways,
and it confirmed a lot of things for us
that I needed to know or I needed to feel.
It opened a door for a lot of healing for me
from a personal experience I'd had with him
that allowed us to get to a place where we were now seeking
the right outlets to heal moving forward
if that makes sense.
It is hard, 'cause I travel for long periods of time and
they have to attend school, which is what it is.
You know, I wish I could take them out to travel with me.
It would make things a lot easier.
I cry often. Every new moon,
usually. I get in a bath and cry a lot about it,
because it is hard,
not because of pressures that any... anybody else
or society puts on you,
but it is just hard being separated from them in that way.
They are my DNA, like we share spirit,
we share blood, they shared my heartbeat,
like, it's hard to not feel obligated
to be with them all the time or to constantly really feel
like I'm not doing a good enough job.
But I'm also separated from their father,
so I can only have them half of the time,
that just is what it is.
And in some ways that allows me to
have moments for myself where I can live my life as me,
not just always being someone's mother and that's nice.
Noah started wearing dresses when Noah was about two
and I bought a bunch of books
that sort of address these things,
that address a full spectrum of, like, what this is
and some of the books are about
written by transgender children.
Some of the books are just about how
you can be a boy and wear a dress,
like you can express yourself through your clothing,
however you want,
that doesn't even have anything to do with your sexuality.
So from the time they were very young,
I've incorporated those things into their daily lives,
so that nobody feels
like they are weird or strange or different.
I can't control the way other people react to my children.
I can't control the things that other children
that they go to school with have been taught
and then repeat to them.
So that has been a journey.
Yes, I do, that's also why I don't really
put my children on Instagram or social media,
like I'm so proud of my kids,
Noah is an unbelievable pianist.
Noah can learn, you know,
Mozart's concerto in an hour
and just absolutely shred on the piano.
I want people to see that,
but I also don't want the world
to have access to this gentle soul
and say all the things that we all know
that they're gonna say.
I send my kids to a school where
the other parents are similar in their beliefs,
so the kids aren't... Noah's nine
and the other kids aren't really
on the internet the same way that, like, most kids are.
So they know that their parents are famous,
but their knowledge of it is very limited.
I knew that when they were very young,
I wanted to try to protect them however I could
and a lot of that had to do with limiting
their exposure to the internet.
So far, we've done a really good job
and, like, maintained their innocence in a lot of ways.
But I know I can't protect them forever.
Getting enough sleep, that's obvious,
but really being diligent about that.
When I lose sleep,
I can really feel the effect that
that has on my mental health and travelling for work
and being on different time zones
and how that affects my pineal gland.
I don't smoke cigarettes,
I never do recreational drugs,
I'm always completely sober,
I don't even drink a glass of wine.
I'm not saying you have to be like that,
I'm saying for me, that that's how I feel the best.
But also self-care is enough quiet time
to be able to connect to my super conscious,
my higher conscious, to connect to God,
to connect to spirit.
And this lifestyle makes that very difficult sometimes
and I do feel very lost when I'm not able to do that.
I avoid my phone as much as I possibly can all the time,
but there are times where I avoid it completely.
The same thing with anything that has,
like, an LED light in it.
And I go back to what our bodies were made for,
which is to be in nature
and to be silent within ourselves.
Every day, if I have the chance,
I'll watch a Harry Potter movie
and they never get old to me,
the same thing with Lord Of The Rings,
like, or a Fantastic Beast,
like, that's always what I'm gonna put on
above anything else,
'cause it just gives me a place to escape
into fantasy and into magic.
Sometimes it's honestly,
it just comes down to like where it's shooting,
like I've chosen things
because it was shooting in an exotic location before
and I felt like that place was gonna change my life.
I did this with a movie in Africa before and it did.
And there are also the kinds of movies I like making
because I'm really good with my physical,
I'm good with my body,
I'm good with stunts, stunt fighting, learning weapons,
things like that.
And that gives me a place to express my physical energy.
I don't really enjoy being locked in a studio in a room
doing a lot of dialogue.
Not everything has to be a B side
where you're like pushing for critical acclaim.
I'm really not bothered by that.
So I'm not always like
on the look out for my Oscar nomination.
I really don't care.
It's like, I like these big, fun movies.
I just think I would like to be remembered
as somebody who was brave,
who was unafraid to explore and
become myself regardless of
anyone else's commentary.
But I also want my legacy eventually to be
someone who helped others, either helped others to find
themselves in a similar way
or helped others to feel love,
to feel self-love and to be able to give that love
to their own children and to their own family
because that spreads obviously,
and that's what we're all missing or right now.