-Former President Donald Trump,
the current frontrunner for the Republican Party's
presidential nomination in 2024,
called for the Constitution to be terminated
after expressing support for the January 6th insurrectionists
and now, the Republican Party has finally come out
in full force to condemn Trump
and oust him from the party and --
Oh, sorry, what's that?
They haven't condemned him?
[ Laughter ]
Why not?
Oh, for all the usual reasons?
Well, that's fun.
[ Laughter ]
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]
Well...
we've been off since Thanksgiving
and a lot has happened, but, by far,
the most important thing that has happened is
that Wally's sponge is back, baby!
[ Cheering and applause ]
That's right.
Thanks to a winter uptick in COVID cases,
our crew is, once again, masked,
which means Wally needs to reattach his face sponge,
which serves the purpose
of keeping his fingers moist between cue cards,
[ Laughter ] a job his tongue can no longer do
because his tongue is behind a mask.
Now, I actually learned this exciting sponge news
thanks to a tweet from an eagle-eyed viewer
[ Laughter ] who saw the face sponge attached
during last Saturday's "SNL," a show Wally also works for.
"That eagle-eyed viewer?" you may ask.
Wally!
[ Laughter and applause ]
So, just to be clear --
Wally tweeted a video of himself
to me and Sal,
in the hopes that we would put him in "A Closer Look,"
and the worst part is?
It [bleep] worked.
[ Laughter, cheering, and applause ]
But it didn't work all the way.
No...
it didn't work all the way.
Because Wally only gets paid extra if he has a line
and we ain't giving him a line today, baby!
-Actually, Seth, Seth! -What?! What?! What?!
-Nothing. "Actually, Seth" is just enough to get me paid.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheering and applause ]
-You're my Grinch!
[ Laughter ]
Believe it or not, there is other news.
For example, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell --
or as I call him, America's Wally --
[ Laughter ]
...announced that he is running for chair
of the Republican National Committee,
which, if he wins, would put him in charge of the GOP.
-MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell says he plans to run to be
the chairman of the Republican National Committee.
Lindell said he was, "100% running,"
during an interview with Trump ally Steve Bannon.
The post is currently held by Ronna McDaniel.
-I am 100% running for the RNC chairman
against Ronna McDaniel.
100%.
I'm all-in, Steve.
And one of the things said --
one of the big donors said to me,
he said, "Mike," he said,
"Everybody wants you to be head of the RNC.
Some of them just don't know it yet."
-I mean, I'd say he dreamt that conversation,
but that meant he fell asleep,
which, one, he seems incapable of,
and two, is impossible using a MyPillow.
[ Laughter ] The only way Lindell ever got a solid eight hours is
if he used a TheirPillow.
[ Laughter ]
When he says one of the big donors,
is he referring to a Republican donor or an organ donor?
[ Laughter ] [ As Lindell ] I got a third lung installed,
so I could scream even louder without taking a breath
and the big lung donor told me I should be in charge of the RNC
right before they put him under.
I think they gave him too much morphine, though,
because he never woke up.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Now, if he does, indeed, run, Lindell would obviously focus
on his deranged election conspiracy theories.
For example, he's still going around
claiming the midterms were stolen from Republicans.
-These machines, when they knew
that they were going to vote same-day,
we said, right here on "FrankSpeech,"
everybody vote same-day
because it's harder for them to cheat,
so, we could overrun the algorithms.
Well, when you took those machines down in --
down in Arizona, you say, "Put the ballot in the box.
Put the ballot in the box."
[ Laughter ] Those ballots got mixed in
with other ballots, too, by the way.
They basically became mail-in ballots, everybody.
[ Laughter ] And you know what we do with mail-in ballots?
[ Laughter ] Pull names from the [indistinct].
Joe Schmo, Johnny Bananas, Sue Smith, whatever.
-Alright.
[ Laughter ]
We've had a good time with Mike Lindell
over the years, but,
at some point, it stops being funny,
so, let me say, with all seriousness,
you leave Johnny Bananas out of this!
[ Laughter and applause ]
You think he's had it easy,
going through life with the name Johnny Bananas?
You think that's a fun trip to the DMV?
[ Laughter ] A good icebreaker for a job interview?
[ Laughter ]
You know how many times his friends
have set Johnny Bananas up on blind dates,
only for him to show up to the restaurant
and see, not a human woman at his table,
but a monkey...
[ Laughter ]
...in lipstick and a dress?
A monkey who his friends have taught to wave,
so everyone at the restaurant is looking when the hostess says,
"Right this way, Mr. Bananas."
[ Laughter ]
Sue Smith, on the other hand, she can [bleep] right off.
That's not a real name.
[ Laughter ]
Also, what is Lindell miming here?
-You know what we do with mail-in ballots?
[ Laughter ]
-It looks like he's milking a giant cow?
[ Laughter ]
Either that, or he's climbing a tree, like...
-Johnny Bananas. [ Laughter ]
-It's obviously very unlikely that Lindell wins,
but his bid for RNC chair comes at a time
when Republicans are figuring out what to do
with the MyPillow wing of the Republican Party,
a wing that includes their standard bearer
and current presidential frontrunner Donald Trump.
Almost as if he was trying to outdo Lindell,
Trump took to his social media site True Social
over the weekend and called
for the Constitution to be torn up,
so that he could immediately be reinstated as president.
-Former President Donald Trump wrote
on his social media platform this weekend.
He says...
-First of all, I like that he started with the question,
"do you throw the" results out, "or do you have a NEW ELECTION,"
like those are the only two choices.
[ Laughter ] He's like a five-year-old
who tells his parents, "Okay, guys,
should we have ice cream for dinner or...
should we have cake? I...
[ Laughter ]
I see arguments on both sides."
[ Laughter ] But I also appreciate
he left no room for ambiguity by using the word termination.
I mean, that's pretty explicit.
Republicans can't say he misspoke,
although, I'm sure the Ted Cruzes the world will try.
[ As Cruz ] The woke mob wants to destroy Donald Trump
just because his autocorrect changed...
...to...
[ Laughter ] Also, I like when Trump tries
to use what he thinks sounds
like sophisticated legal language
and, instead, just sounds like an insane person.
He thinks if he uses big words,
like "termination of all rules, regulations, and articles,"
everyone will think what he's suggesting is legal.
He sounds like a college sophomore in a Starbucks,
writing a screenplay for a sci-fi movie.
[ Laughter ] "Exterior space.
It's the year 3000.
Nuclear war with an army of sentient voting machines
has resulted in the termination
of all rules, regulations, and articles.
[ Laughter ] The galaxy's only hope for survival rests
with a heroic astronaut, Captain...
-Johnny Bananas.
[ Laughter and applause ]
That's two.
[ Cheering ]
That's two Johnny Bananas callbacks.
If I were you,
I wouldn't wait around for a third.
[ Laughter ]
Can't be done.
Trump's screed calling for the termination
of the Constitution came [ Laughing ] after Twitter --
after Twitter CEO Elon Musk released a big dud
he called the Twitter Files, which was supposed
to be some kind of Hunter Biden smoking gun,
but, in reality, was just a bunch
of internal Twitter emails about content moderation.
-Trump's cries to terminate the Constitution came
after Elon Musk promoted a new release of the Twitter Files --
internal emails showing how the Trump White House
and the Biden campaign requested and received removals
from certain content on social media.
The former journalist
who compiled those notes for Musk claimed,
"One executive would write to another:
'More to review from the Biden team.'
The reply would come back: 'Handled.'"
But reviews of Internet Archive show
those links were explicit pornographic images stolen
from Hunter Biden's laptop hard drive,
not requests from the Biden campaign
to suppress The New York Post story itself.
-Yes, Trump wants the Constitution terminated
because Joe Biden's campaign,
which was not the government in 2020,
asked Twitter to take down pics of Hunter Biden's dong.
[ Laughter ] I'm sorry, but I don't think
there's a provision for that in the Constitution.
I don't remember Alexander Hamilton
ever writing, in the Federalist Papers, that,
"The Constitution shall be the law of the land,
unless John Adams' son posts a lithographed flyer
of his genitals in Faneuil Hall."
[ Laughter ]
Interesting historical fact --
John Adams son John Quincy Adams was also president,
but later in life, they had a falling out,
so, John Quincy Adams had his name legally changed to...
-Johnny Bananas.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-There we go.
[ Cheering ]
And I am certain that's the end of that.
[ Laughter ]
These guys are desperate to find secret evidence
of a hidden conspiracy in the laptop of the president's son.
Meanwhile, Trump's out there admitting
he stole classified documents from the White House
and they're all like, "So what?
We all still stuff from work."
What is it about the words Hunter Biden's laptop
that drives right-wingers absolutely insane?
It's all they can think about.
It's like that torture device they make Bix wear in "Andor."
They just hear those three words and they lose their minds.
Also, side note -- "Andor" rules!
[ Cheering and applause ] Flat-out rules!
[ Laughter ] And I'm not one of those people who loves everything
about "Star Wars." I'm an adult!
[ Laughter ] Okay?
At some point, you get too old for movies
where everyone has a crazy name,
like Kylo Ren or Poe Dameron or...
-Johnny Bananas.
[ Laughter and applause ] -Although,
I do get chills --
I do get chills every time I remember
that famous line, "Help me..."
-Johnny Bananas.
-"...you're my only hope."
[ Laughter ] Anyway.
The point is the rule of five is an effective comedy device
[ Laughter ] and also, even after the GOP was repudiated in the midterms,
they're still leaning even further
in the direction of MAGA extremism.
For example, right before he called
for the termination of the Constitution,
Trump also recorded a video message in support --
in support -- of the January 6th insurrectionists,
even after the leader of the Oath Keepers, Stewart Rhodes,
was convicted of seditious conspiracy.
-Patriot freedom is what it's about
and that's not happening in our country.
What they've done to torment people
and go after people like never before,
I don't think anything like this
has ever happened in our country before,
certainly not to this extent.
So, it's a very unfair situation
and we're going to be, as you know,
looking about it and talking about it
very, very strongly in the coming weeks, months,
and over the next period of a year, year and a half,
during the campaign.
People have been treated unconstitutionally,
in my opinion, and very, very unfairly
and we're going to get to the bottom of it.
-Content aside,
why is he standing so far away?
[ Laughter ]
Is he recording this on a Mar-A-Lago security camera?
[ Laughter ]
Is he shrinking?
I don't know.
But that is exactly the kind of rumor Donald Trump
would spread about that video of Donald Trump.
[ As Trump ] Have you seen that video of Donald Trump?
They're saying he shrunk. He's tiny now.
They're calling him Tiny Trump.
[ Laughter ] Many people are saying
it's so sad he's 3'0", 2'0", perhaps even 1'0" tall.
[ Laughter ]
He reminds me a lot of Hermey the Elf.
[ Laughter ] Great elf, tough elf.
I met him once. He came up to me,
tears pouring down his face
and then freezing to the side of his cheek
and he said to me, "Sir,
I just want to be a dentist."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Also, I've notice that Trump has a new move with his hands.
They're like, instead of doing up here,
he's started doing them like down here.
[ Laughter ] I guess that's why they had
to move the camera back. He said --
[ As Trump ] I do my hands down here now.
[ Laughter ] And they said, "Alright, but they're going
to be out of frame." And he was like --
[ As Trump ] Well, then you got to back the camera up!
[ Laughter ]
The hands are up, people know I'm not [bleep] crazy.
[ Laughter ] With the hands --
With the hands, I look smart.
Without them, I look like I'm...
-Sue Smith.
-Oh.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Didn't see that one coming, did you?
[ Laughter and applause ]
When you think I'm going to zig, I zag!
[ Laughter ] That's why they call me...
-Johnny Bananas.
-Yep. [ Laughter and applause ]
Six.
[ Cheering ]
And, yet, even after all that, Republicans still can't seem
to bring themselves to oust Trump from their party.
Yesterday, George Stephanopoulos asked GOP Congressman Dave Joyce
about Trump's call to terminate the Constitution
and Joyce still said he would support Trump
for president in 2024.
-Can you support a candidate in 2024
who's for suspending the Constitution?
-Well, again, it's early. I think there's going to be
a lot of people in the primary.
I think, at the end of the day, you'll --
whoever the Republican then to pick,
I'll fall in behind because that's --
-Even if it's Donald Trump
and he's called for suspending the Constitution?
-Well, again, I think it's going to be a big field.
I don't think Donald Trump's going to clear out the field
like he did in '16. -That's not what I'm asking.
I'm asking, if he's the nominee, will you support him?
-I will support whoever the Republican nominee is.
-That's a remarkable statement.
You'd support a candidate
who's come out for suspending the Constitution?
-Well, you know, he says a lot of things.
-But that's an extraordinary statement.
You can't come out against someone
who's for suspending the Constitution?
-Well, first off, he has no ability
to suspend the Constitution.
Secondly -- -But he says he's for it.
-Well, you know, he says a lot of things that --
[ Laughter ] But that doesn't mean that it's ever going to happen.
-Well, that's reassuring.
[ Laughter ]
Trump wants to terminate the Constitution,
but he can't, so, don't worry about it.
It's kind of like how, in every Bond movie,
M explains the villain's plans to blow up the UN
and Bond says, "I'm sorry, you mean this Austrian dork?
I doubt he's blowing up anything,
unless it's in a game of Minecraft."
[ Laughter ] You'd think calling
for the termination of the Constitution
would finally be the last straw,
but there will never be a last straw for Republicans.
No matter how many times voters repudiate Trump's extremism,
Republicans can't seem to pry themselves away.
They're just hoping someone else runs against him,
so, instead of getting asked, "If he's the nominee,
will you support Donald Trump?" They'll get asked...
-If he's the nominee, will you support...
-Johnny Bananas.
[ Laughter, cheering, and applause ]
-I don't know.
I don't know, Sal. At some point,
you just can't call it back that many times.
[ Laughter ]
Just like you got -- It's moderation, Sal.
[ Laughter ]
This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]