Have you ever thought about why we make friends?
After all, do we really need friends at all?
Couldn't we get along just fine by ourselves?
Sure, we all like to be alone every now and then.
It can be nice to enjoy some peace and quiet or get some rest and relaxation without anyone
else around.
But for most of us, being alone gets lonely and after a while we start yearning the company
of other people.
We are social creatures and derive a lot of our happiness through the relationships that
we have developed.
Scientists who have studied relationships in depth have found that people with good
friends tend to live longer lives.
They also tend to be healthier.
Good friendships have been associated with lower levels of stress, decreased blood pressure,
and a reduced risk of depression.
So let's reap the benefits and get you to make some new friends.
First, you have to be social.
There is no way around this.
If you just lay on your couch all day, isolating yourself and just playing video games, you
won't meet any new people and therefore won't make any new friends.
You need to get out and be social, ok?
Maybe being social to you means going to parties, maybe it means going to a coffee shop or maybe
it means going to events, like concerts.
But the fact is in order to make new friends you need to be around potential friends.
One of the best ways to do just that is to just join a club group or organization of
something that you enjoy doing.
If you're going to go out and be social while doing something you like, guess what?
You're going to be meeting people that also enjoy the things that you like and so it just
kind of makes sense that friendships are going to form.
To be interesting, be interested.
People think you have to be super interesting to make friends, but that's simply not true.
When talking to someone, just be genuinely interested in them, people love talking about
themselves.
They think the world revolves around them, so listen to the stories they have to tell,
since this will form deep roots of friendship.
You and I both know people who blunder through life trying to wigwag other people into becoming
interested in them.
Of course it doesn't work.
People are not interested in you.
They are not interested in me.
They are interested in themselves - morning, noon and after dinner.
If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have
many true, sincere friends, as they are not made that way.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you
can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
So ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering and encourage them to talk
about themselves and their accomplishments.
Start a conversation with everyone.
Every single person that you come into contact with, ask them how they are doing and genuinely listen.
So next time you hit the gym, make small talk with another regular there.
Talk about the weather, talk about that sporting event you went to over the weekend, but more
importantly ask them questions that will tell you more about them.
For example if they tell you they are going hiking on the weekend, ask them more about it.
Where are they going?
How long have they been doing it and are they going alone or with someone else?
Next time you see them, ask them how that weekend hiking went.
Usually a conversation where something sticks, leads to more conversations and suddenly you're
making plans with the said person.
So make sure that you are constantly chatting up people, because that's where it all begins.
And I know it sounds scary, because you feel like they might not reciprocate and that's okay.
You are going to get rejected even in this process of making friends, so you have to
develop a thick skin.
It gets easier over time though, but you have to put yourself out there.
Some people might just not like you and there is nothing wrong with that.
You can't be friends with everybody, since we are all so different.
But in the process of weeding out people you don't connect with, you will find people that
you can connect on all levels and that's how true friendships form.
Thanks for watching.
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