[Music]
The person I'm touching right now, you
realize that you are a compulsive liar.
Everything that comes out of your mouth
is a lie. Matter of fact it's a lie from
second to second. You could have told me
something and I'll ask you the same
question. And it's a completely new lie.
You are so full of shit and you can do,
that you can do things better than
anybody else can not only you a liar.
You're the world's biggest briber.
[Music]
And your name? Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Stone Cold Steve Austin, Good to have you
here. Nice to meet you. Who came with
stone cold tonight make some noise. Stone
cold! I see! I see! You're married? Used to be.
Okay!
[Applause]
Got kids? Yeah! How many? 12. Okay! All right!
It's a little awkward ahead, so I'm in a
relationship. So do I. Looks, are you? Yes! All right! 24 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:42,119 Let's see. It looks like you're married.
Yeah! Okay! All right! Great! Excellent!
Haley! Okay! Haley! All right! Okay!
Okay! Careful! I wouldn't pull too hard on
that finger at Taco Bell for dinner. All
right! Exit.
Okay! Who came with Haley tonight make some noise?
Oh right! Here!
Who'd you bring with you? Friend. Friend, friends! Is it a
friend that you're married to? Yes! Yeah!
All right! Yeah! What's your friend's name?
Steve. Oh Steve! Is this your wife? Yeah! It
is! All right! It is Mary. So Haley, Joe, Ari,
Brad, Candice, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Tom,
Steve, Louis, Louis, Louis, Justin, and last
but not least Catherine. Its all right! Eva
have them all. We got everybody. Perfect!
How about giving your friends a great
big round of applause. These people right
here sharing their personalities with
you. Here we go. Back up! Up! back up! Up!
back of my bitch, riverdancing time! Here
we go!
[Applause]
oh wow! The more you clap the faster
Steve will go! Hey!
[Music]
Hey! Go! One, two, and three. Well, it hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Whoa! You guys just come on back.
Have a seat there, have a seat there. Look,
I'm Lewis! Lewis, I would say I was doing
a show. You're totally interrupting. I'm
sorry! I'm sorry! Okay! That's okay! We take
things very seriously here. You wouldn't
go to Blue Man Group and do that shit.
would you know it's the marks of our
comedy of no-shows. We don't do it here
either. Okay! All right! You're Irish? You
Irish by chance?
No! What are you? What are you? Okay. Not
even a little bit of that black Irish
everyone's talking about? No. No, I don't
know who's talking about that but
somebody. Okay. I'm blacker. You're blacker. I didn't
black you longer.
Have no idea? Yeah! It's crazy. All right!
They fly on the ground check it out. It's,
it's called sleep dust. If you get any on.
You fall into a deep deep sleep.
Starting over here. You ever seen sleep
dust before. I-- I have some what do you--
what do you use? If I use it, I use it for
for hypnosis show but people think what
do you use it for? I Sparkle my shoes
with it doesn't work on me.
Where do you buy yours? Where do you buy
yours? from China. From China directly.
Yesterday. Before you got married to
Haley?
Yeah! Yeah! Well sleep doesn't good thing.
I didn't put on his shoes Louis. Yep!
What do you do sir? I'm a hypnotist scout
and I invented Rogaine hypnotist out
what is the meaning. I look-- I look for
talent you're coming. You going watch
hypnotist shows and see if they're any
good. That's right. What do you think of
this one?
Still looking
It's riverdancing time! Back them up!
Back them up! Back them up!
[Applause]
One, two, and three or whoa this you guys.
Come on back and have a seat. Come on
back have a seat. I was wondering what
you thought of Lewis's dancing. Oh! I
could do way better. Oh! Is that right?
Let's see.
[Applause]
[Music]
What's that all about? I have no idea. I
[Applause]
don't know you. You don't know. All right! Okay!
I'm sure you guys a trigger man working.
I'm gonna need to borrow a belt. Someone
got a belt? Think of! All right! We'll use
our ease belt. You guys! Go ahead and
stand up! Go and stand up! Everybody go
ahead and stand up!
All right! we'll use your belt next to...
Thanks you so much! I can lose your pants are.
Yeah! You know this is not an illusion.
It's real magic like wizardry. Gather
round semicircle like a Halfmoon. Like an
arch, like a rainbow not too close. I have
arachnophobia. Real magic! Right before
your very eyes!
Did you magic? I do. Totally magic witch!
What's your best trick?
Okay.
[Music]
Very venomous.
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
I'm gonna make it what the mate is that.
What's going on? Over here Jesus! Better
pull it almost get the snake eggs. All
right! Okay! You guys can pet the snake. Be
very careful! Do not startle it. I'm a
trained professional. I'm gonna use you
for this demonstration.
Perfect! Right here! Right here! Stand
right there!
Thanks! Arms down by your sides, chin up,
face the front. Whatever you do don't
move. Have a look at the fangs on this
thing.
off he comes just go turn him back to a
belt. Back to a belt. Back to the...
That was amazing! That was amazing!
Yes it was! Next up. Lewis! Put your hands
together for Lewis!
[Applause]
Come on back Luis and so Stone Cold!
Steve sometimes Luis!
[Music]