Brainy Dose Presents:
The Dark Side of Nice People
The phrase nice people usually conjures up pleasant images of charitable deeds, benevolence,
and smiling faces.
However, beneath this seemingly positive image, there’s often a darker side that most people
don't realize.
Niceness can be toxic just as easily as it can be uplifting.
Here’s what you need to about nice people and how the dark side of being nice can manifest:
Number 1 - They Aren't Necessarily Good People
In your mind, nice is synonymous with morally good.
You believe that a nice person will never do something hurtful or unkind; that they
are compassionate and generous.
However, this isn't always the case.
Just because someone is nice doesn't mean they are automatically a good person.
In fact, they can be some of the most manipulative and deceitful individuals out there.
Some people are nice because it helps them exploit others for their own personal gain.
They will do anything to get what they want, including lying and manipulating.
Number 2 - They Always Worry About What Everyone Thinks
Nice people tend to worry about what other people think all the time.
Not only do they worry about what others think of their actions, but also of their words
and even appearance.
This means that a nice person might be afraid to say something controversial or different
from the norm because it could offend someone.
But this can create a lot of anxiety for these folks because they have to be so careful about
everything they say and do.
As a result, they generally avoid giving an honest opinion out of fear of hurting someone's
feelings or being judged by others.
Number 3 - They're Hopelessly Insecure
While it’s easy to assume that nice people are confident and secure, usually it’s the
opposite.
They're afraid of rejection, conflict, and even criticism.
They don't like to be seen as mean or rude; they'd much rather be perceived as nice.
These people think that if they sacrifice themselves for others, they will be seen as
selfless and caring.
In reality, their actions don't make them look generous at all.
Instead, it makes them seem like total doormats who are desperate for attention and appreciation.
Number 4 - They Are Too Obedient
Nice people typically just do what they are told, even if those things aren't right or
good for them.
They don't want to rock the boat, and don't want to be seen as bad.
They see themselves as cooperative and non-confrontational, so they would rather go along with whatever
is being asked of them than to cause any conflict.
Needless to say, this can lead to many situations where they do something they really don’t
want to, and then regret it later.
Number 5 - They're Often Judgmental
Research suggests that people who score high on agreeableness tend to be more critical
of others because they try so hard to be nice themselves.
They also have a tendency to take things personally, which means they're even more likely than
other personality types to judge someone negatively.
This phenomenon is called self-righteousness, and it's one way nice people can end up being
mean-spirited at times - without ever meaning for it to happen.
Number 6 - They Can Be Passive-Aggressive
It’s probably no surprise that nice people can be passive-aggressive.
They aren’t very good at communicating their boundaries or needs, which can be a problem
for everyone involved.
They don't want to hurt your feelings, so instead of saying outright that they don't
like something, they express their anger or resentment in indirect or underhanded ways.
The problem with this strategy is that the hurtful behaviors may be subtle enough that
unsuspecting targets don't realize how much damage has been done, until long after the
fact.
Number 7 - They Try to Fix Everything and Everyone
Being a nice person can be a virtue, but it can also be a vice.
The worst consequence of the nice mindset is that it can lead to an unhealthy desire
to fix things.
Nice people feel the need to take care of everything and everyone including their friends,
family members, co-workers, even strangers; so they go out of their way for others.
In this sense, nice people are good listeners and great friends who can be relied on when
needed.
But this is not always the case as they might overdo it by trying too hard to fix everything
and solve everyone’s problems.
Number 8 - They're Good at Making Others Feel Selfish
Nice people can be very good at making you feel like a terrible person.
They have this trick where they pick out something you did and make it seem selfish.
But in reality, they’re only trying to make themselves feel better about their own behavior.
Nice people are great at pushing their own boundaries and taking more than their fair
share of resources without anyone noticing or caring.
It can be hard for them to see this, because they are so focused on keeping the peace and
making others happy all the time, that they never bother taking care of themselves.
Number 9 - They Keep Too Many Secrets
Nice people can be very good at keeping secrets.
And this can be a great asset, especially when it comes to keeping highly sensitive
information confidential.
However, this also means that they are often burdened with things about themselves that
they don't feel comfortable sharing or bringing up in conversation.
As with most of the other pitfalls listed here, this is a response to their fear of
being judged, rejected, or abandoned.
Number 10 - They Have Unreasonably High Expectations
While it's true that nice people can be the most helpful, they also tend to have higher
expectations than they should.
This can lead to a lot of resentment and disappointment.
Those who are constantly striving for perfection in themselves and their relationships, often
end up being the ones hardest on others.
Nice people expect other people to live up to the same high standards, and when those
people disappoint them or let them down, they get really upset.
They fail to understand that not everyone is like them and that sometimes, people just
aren't going to care about what you want or need from them.
Popular culture has romanticized the idea of being a nice person, but it is important
to remember that it has its downsides too.
Many people think they should be nice all the time, but they don't realize how much
harm this can cause in their lives.
By focusing on being nice, rather than on improving themselves, people miss out on valuable
opportunities for growth and success, and sometimes even hurt others in the process.
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