Yeah, I've never wanted to be Oprah.
Yeah
Have you ever wanted to be me?
I never wanted to be you!
But the other thing is, whatever like I-
when I-
Yes, you have.
We are here on the Holland America Girls Getaway Cruise for a special edition of OG Chronicles.
Which-
should we explain why we're dressed this way?
I don't want anybody to think "Now they're dressing alike."
Not true.
You know not only are we dressed alike, we have the same watch on.
Hello, hello
We're wearing Talbots.
Yes.
We got some questions about life, about love, and friendship from
some of our readers right here on the cruise.
What you got?
Hi, I'm Anita Thomas-
On my flight here to the cruise,
I was upgraded to first class and my friend was not.
I took the first-class seat
because she said it was okay, but I felt like maybe it wasn't okay.
She was not okay with it.
She was not okay.
No, if you're traveling together-
Yeah
You're traveling together. I don't think it's right either to take the first-class seat.
Yeah, you think she should have stayed in coach?
I do.
Would you have stayed in coach?
I would have.
Yeah
I know you would have.
I definitely-
You're taking- you're kind of like choking on your words, Mami.
Well, I definitely would've stayed.
Oh yes.
She's feeling some kind of way.
She mad at you.
Yes.
Go to your friend and say
"I'm so sorry."
"I made a mistake. I should have stayed there with you."
But I wouldn't have left you.
Yeah,
I wouldn't have left you either, cuz that's how you know who your real friends are.
I always use the example of: once I was uh, you know, I used to be driven around in limousines,
now nobody uses limousines anymore.
One time, something happened and the limousine broke down,
and that's who you know your friends are but
people who would ride on a bus when the limo breaks down, who's gonna be with you when they say
"Oh, it's okay if we don't have the limousine" That's- that's what you really want.
Yeah.
This is Allison Krotwell:
Over the holidays, both my husband's family and my family pressure us to spend time with them,
and I want to know how do we
talk to them about establishing our own family traditions?
Oh, I love this. You set the boundaries
but you set them now. You don't wait until Christm-
-before the holidays.
Before the holidays.
You say: "Guys, this is what we've decided we're going to do for this year, for our family"
And then you tell them when you will be able to spend because people always are thinking about themselves,
And "what does this mean for me?" So you say,
"This is what we've decided together as a family-
WE decided
"we've decided together as a family."
So they don't think "Oh, no, that's her, she trying to keep them away from us"
So, "this is what we have decided."
You lay out the new plan for them waaay ahead of time.
Don't wait for the holidays, 'cuz then it will turn into a thing,
And just because you've done something the same way forever,
this is the thing that always stuck with me.
You always have the right to change your mind.
I heard that on The Oprah Show.
It's true.
Hi Oprah and Gayle,
Amy Boyle from Chicago: Have a question for ya,
over the years my friendships have changed as I've gotten older and I've wondered
Do you keep your original circle, do you keep adding on or do you stick with your old friends?
I think it's hard to meet new friends.
I think you may be scarred because remember you had that friend who-
Yes.
slept with your husband and when you found them with your husband you said,
"I thought you were my friend!"
And she said "I never liked you!"
Yes, so yes.
Gayle has been my best best friend
since
we were 21 and 22.
So over the years, I've tried to make other friends with other people.
I remember that friend I was gonna try to have,
and the person wanted to borrow money.
I loaned it to her.
and I said she's gonna pay you back and she di'nt.
You know what I call it?
Yeah.
My "negro exit fee"
The reason why, the reason why our friendship is so great is because
Gayle has always wanted- and I've always wanted the best for her,
she's always wanted best for me.
I've never wanted to be Oprah.
Yeah.
Have you ever wanted to be me?
And I never wanted to be you!
But the other thing is, whenever I like- when I made new friends,
And Gayle would like "Oh, I can't wait to meet them!"
Yeah.
So Gayle is the kind of friend who is secure enough in the friendship,
I'm the kind of friend who's secure enough in the friendship, that if she wanted to bring another
friend in, neither of us thinks
"Oh that means I have to move out."
If you try to bring somebody new into the group and then somebody go
"No" and they feel threatened by that,
that's what makes it hard.
Hi, Oprah, and Gayle- I'm Eileen Fruithandler,
My question is, I have friends who make snarky comments on my social media posts.
Hm
How do you handle haters on social media?
Especially old friends who are jealous of you rather than happy for you.
There's a difference between snarky and playful
so if you're taking it as snarky, I think there's a way you can tease a friend without it feel like you're
tearing her down or taking a dig-
Like the time when you said you passed the TV and my boob hit you in the eye?
Yes!
Oprah had on a dress with a lot of cleavage,
and I just-
No, no! This is what you said,
this is what you said:
you call, I get on the phone, you say
"I have a black eye"
I said "Oh my god, what happened?!"
You said, "I passed the TV and your boob hit me in the eye!"
Or the time I got some blonde highlights in my hair, that everybody said looked good and Oprah said
"You look ridiculous!
Why do you think blonde looks good?"
I go, "This isn't blonde. This is highlights in my hair."
This is what she's telling me, "This is what the sun did to my hair"
I was in the sun, and I had some highlights-
Okay,
Okay negro!
"You look ridiculous!"
But there's a difference between that and snarkiness.
I wasn't even offended by that. I just disagreed with her.
Yes.
This is the truth,
you cannot maintain a relationship with people who lose oxygen as you're on the climb of your life.
And along the climb, lots of people lose
oxygen as you reach higher altitudes and they have to-
-And they start to resent you,
-Yeah
Your success, your happiness.
They can't handle the altitude and you have to let them go.
Hi Oprah and Gayle
I'm Janae Pierre Rayven.
I have a friend who really can't dance. I try to help her on the dance floor
but she relies on me so much for help that sometimes I just need her to sit down so I can have some fun.
How do you nicely say that to your friend?
Why is this a problem?
I was just gonna say that. I don't think you need to tell her to sit down.
This is dancing!
Why is that even a problem?
She's a bad dancer, you're a good dancer. Just let her dance.
Yeah, let her-
And then you just be the better dancer, who cares?
Yeah, let her do her thing.
So let her be a bad dancer.
You how many bad dancers I've been with?
Yes.
Including myself.
I'm Sarah Hirsch.
My husband and I have been together for over 13 amazing years.
We've become-
what I would say is the definition of fat and happy.
I've watched all the success that you guys have had on
Weight Watchers
so I rejoined and I'm excited about it and
I would love it if my husband would commit to doing it with me and
we could have fun on this journey together, but he hasn't been all that
interested. What do you suggest for finding a way to
really interest him into joining me and living a really healthier lifestyle?
So, the wonderful thing about Weight Watchers is that it's not a diet.
So you're gonna live by example and your husband's gonna see all the incredible foods that you get to eat,
and he's going to be inspired by that.
It's not gonna be like he gets these meals and you get something else
you're gonna make it all a part of what you do as the family.
And it's going to be just like at my house when Stedman goes:
"this is on Weight Watchers?"
That's the things that's so great about it.
Because with Weight Watchers, you could eat real food.
You can eat all the foods you like,
it's just a matter of counting the points,
so you keep track and it makes you accountable.
Hi, Oprah and Gayle
My name is Debbie Ross.
I have a relative of mine
that's in a very toxic relationship, but she's not in good financial position to leave her husband.
And she's really struggling because she has a daughter in high school.
How do I encourage and support her even though she doesn't think
she's ready to live her life on her own terms?
Yeah, but she's not ready. If she's not ready-
Keyword: Not ready.
She's saying she's not ready.
Yeah, and this is what I say, even if you are in an abusive relationship,
the experts will tell you that
You need a plan.
It's not something that you just get up and- you just get up and go
unless your life is
threatened and you are in danger.
You need to have a plan.
How are you going to be able to take care of yourself?
And manage your life.
The key there is she said her friend said she's not ready-
That means you're not ready!
You can't help somebody who's not ready to be helped.
You can help her get ready.
You can do that.
You can help her get ready.
How do you help her get ready if she says "I'm not ready"?
Say "well, what will it take to get you ready?"
So you can help her in the plan to get ready.
I'm Tara Stenson.
So I have a friend who is never really there for the little things,
but she's always there for the big things.
She's always too busy or she says no, so I'm wondering is she a true friend?
What's little to you? Like showing up for your little stuff that's going on, no.
What matters is that somebody is there when you can depend on.
Yeah, when you really need them.
Can you depend on that person?
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