Welcome back to the show.
On Monday night, the White House announced that they were firing
acting attorney general Sally Yates
by issuing this press release.
Traitor!
I'm sorry, wrong press release.
Acting attorney general Sally Yates
has betrayed the Department of Justice
by refusing to enforce a legal order
designed to protect the citizens of the United States.
That's the one.
Trump had every right to can Yates.
She knew her statement would get her fired, just
like most women expect to get fired upon publicly
speaking their minds.
It was the language of her firing
that sent a chill down people's spines.
And using the word betrayed for somebody is frightening.
Exactly.
That's what--
Exactly.
An autocrat would use.
Chandler is right.
I mean, it is a perfectly reasonable word
if you're naming a Meredith Baxter TV movie.
Just not when you're making staffing
decisions in a republic.
But we've always known there's one quality that Don Donald
values above all others--
How did the breasts look?
OK, fine.
But what's the next quality he values?
I have the most loyal people.
I just think the major criteria will be loyalty to him.
Trump loves loyalty.
I mean, he prizes loyalty.
We're all loyal to him.
Remember on "Gilmore Girls" when Paris Geller staffed
the school newspaper with her most loyal friends,
with no regard for talent level?
It's like that, but with the leader of the free world,
and nukes.
More than experience, knowledge, or the ability
to do a credible Paso Doble, the one quality
that has mattered for Trump's hires
is how quickly they can say yes to him.
Reince Priebus gave him the RNC mailing list,
Jeff Sessions gave him enthusiastic early support,
and some great ideas about how to be racist
within the letter of the law.
Steve Bannon gave him enough deplorables to win an election.
Steve Mnuchin gave him money, and Andrew Puzder
gave him money.
Ben Carson gave him a black friend,
and plausible deniability for whatever
he's up to with Jeff Sessions.
Linda McMahon gave him money, Wilbur Ross gave him money.
OK, you know what?
There was a lot of money.
But you get the point.
If you disagree with the tenets of Trumpism,
there is no place for you in the federal government.
You have members of the State Department, meantime,
Kristen, who have been circulating a memo
opposing this ban as well.
So let me play what press secretary Sean Spicer said
when he was asked about this.
I think she can either get with the program, or they can go.
Yeah.
I hear Trump has a friend who can get these traitors
a nice little year in Siberia.
You know, it took Richard Nixon three years
to compile his enemies list, but in less than two weeks,
the Trump team has already called the media the opposition
party, fired an acting attorney general,
pressured the chief of Customs and Border Patrol
into resigning.
Purged the State Department of seasoned career diplomats,
kicked the Director of National Intelligence
and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs
off the National Security Council,
replaced them with some crazy dude he trusts, cause why not?
And accused Lindsey Graham and John McCain, the proprietors
of the 66 remaining vertebrae among Senate Republicans,
of trying to start World War III.
Sorry, guys.
At the rate Trump's going, you'll probably have to settle
for starting World War IV.
One group of employees whose loyalty Trump can count on
is the Customs and Border Patrol Union,
a group Trump cultivated like prize orchids
throughout the campaign.
I happen to have great respect for the people on the border,
the people that are securing the border,
but they're told they can't do it.
The border patrol.
And the border patrol people are incredible.
Donald Trump has brought immigration
to the forefront of his campaign,
and he's the only candidate that is taking
the national security and the enforcement of our borders
seriously.
There's a buzz that we've never seen
before in the border patrol.
It's like the feeling of finding contraband citrus
fruit times 12!
Word is some border patrol agents are so buzzed, they're
reportedly defying court orders against the Muslim ban,
and even canceling Muslims' visas,
which would normally be something the Department
of Justice looks into.
But between the attorney general, who was just fired,
and the loyal Melanie Wilkes, who's
measuring the drapes for his new office,
I'm not so sure we can count on the DOJ
to push back against Trump.
Which means it's up to us.
But bad news-- as soon as you laced up your marching shoes,
you made the enemies list, too.
The president's firing back, tweeting this moments ago.
Where was all the outrage from Democrats
in the opposition party--
the media-- when our jobs were fleeing our country?
Oh, I know, I know!
Zuccotti Park!
It's right down the street from you.
But, you know what?
I get it.
You probably didn't stop by because you
were afraid they'd make you wave your tiny hands around.
Liberal snowflakes are multi-taskers.
They can make a nuisance of themselves
over white jobs and brown refugees,
so please, Trump supporters, stop
screen tweeting that liberals are choosing
foreigners over Americans.
Protesters are not your enemy.
I promise, if our tantrum prone tyrant
ever locks you out of America, they will march for you, too.
Maybe reluctantly, but they will do it.
And a lot of American Muslims will, too.
We'll be right back.