- Hi I'm Deepika Padukone,
I'm an actor, producer and philanthropist.
I'll be opening up my little black book
and bringing you into my world.
(upbeat music)
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(upbeat music)
So first stop, we're gonna talk about mental health
because that is a topic that's very, very close to my heart
and something that I've been working on
very, very actively in that last couple of years.
And that's because I experienced
anxiety and depression in 2014.
So I've seen it up close and personal
and I probably define it as the worst experience of my life.
I think a huge part of my little black book
is my mother, so we live in different cities,
so they visit me every now and then.
And on one such visit, I remember it was time
for her to pack her bags and leave
and she was, you know, ready to go to the airport.
And I was sitting in her room watching her,
just sort of, packing and putting her things together
when I suddenly broke down.
And to her it seemed strange because, you know,
we sort of go through this saying goodbye to each other
every few months, pretty often.
And of course she asked me the routine questions
about, you know, is everything okay at work?
Was it a relationship issue?
I feel like as a mother she needed to ask me those questions
but I think somewhere deep down inside she knew
that it wasn't the usual sort of crying, it was different.
Whenever I've not been okay, I always feel like
I want to keep that away from my parents
because they live away from me and I feel like they'd worry.
So I hadn't told them about feeling this way for a while
and then she caught this moment.
But today when I look back, I'm so grateful for that moment
because she was the one who called it
and she immediately realized
that I needed professional help.
And that's when Anna Chandy and Dr. Shyam,
the reason I am able to run this foundation today
is because of their passion and enthusiasm
and both are a very integral part of my life
and my little black book.
Yeah, I think waking up was tough
because I didn't want to face a day.
When the doctor said that this is clinical depression,
I felt like I already started feeling much better
versus the times when I didn't know
what was happening to me.
I remember those moments being a struggle, not knowing.
2014, post the experience, and post coming
out with my experience with the depression,
I also felt like I didn't want to stop there,
I felt like I wanted to give back
and I wanted to help people.
And so, for me, coming out and speaking out openly
was to sort of help people understand
what depression is because you don't really see
very obvious physical signs or symptoms,
unlike certain other illnesses.
And I felt like by coming out and sharing
my experience with the world, if I could help
even one life, I felt like the purpose would be served.
That's when we set up the Live, Love, Laugh foundation.
It's been more than three years
since we set up the foundation.
I feel every single day for everything
that I have in my life, if there's one thing
that feels the most rewarding or the one thing
that I'm most grateful for is the fact
that I've been able to speak out.
But through the foundation, also,
be positively able to impact peoples lives.
(piano music)
I'm not ashamed.
I think if there's one thing that anxiety and depression
has taught me is self awareness.
And while I'd like to believe that I've always been
pretty aware of my feelings and emotions, I feel like
this experience sort of just amplified that for me.
I often feel like, and women especially,
feel like when they take care of themselves
or take time out for themselves,
it often comes with an element of guilt.
And I feel like that's the one thing I stopped doing.
I feel like if I want to rest, if I want a massage,
if I want to sleep, I've started enjoying
those moments without the guilt.
And I think self care is the one thing that has really
helped me on this journey, you know, to recovery.
You know, it works differently for different people
so I think it's really about listening to yourself
and finding your own inner balance.
(soft calming music)