-Welcome back to the show. -Thank you.
-I can smell the whiskey from here.
We'll cut this out. Now, Fred --
[ Laughter ]
Are you okay, bud? -Yeah.
-So t-- We have a lot to talk about.
-Mm-hmm.
[ Laughter ]
-[ Laughs ]
I don't think I've ever seen you wasted.
Do you drink? -No, no, I'm not a drinker.
-You're not? -No.
-That's probably why I've never seen you drunk.
-No.
It's just so expensive, you know.
Those drinks -- Like, wine is expensive.
-It is. -Champagne is expensive.
-Oh, I got a good deal, though.
[ Laughter ]
I'll tell you that later.
But you're gonna love it. -Alright, alright.
-I want to talk about your show "Los Espookys."
Gosh, it's great. It's just genius.
It's brilliant, but I want to talk about your comedy,
as well, your stand-up.
-Yes. -You're on tour currently?
-Yes, I've been touring a bunch, and --
-Do you like touring? -I love it.
-Really? -Yeah, you get to travel.
You get to see all these places, and see all, you know --
-I think you would love it,
'cause you're interested in people.
-Yeah, I love it. I love seeing people.
I mean, I really do. -You do.
I feel you are like a sponge.
-And -- I am like a sponge.
I used to say that about myself.
-You did? -Yeah.
When I first met you, remember that?
I was like, "Hey, Jimmy," and I was like, "I'm like a sponge."
[ Laughter ]
-That was the first thing you said to me, yeah.
-First thing. -And you laughed so hard, man.
You remember that? -Yeah, man, you laughed.
-No, man -- -No, you laughed.
-You sick son of a -- you were the one that laughed, man.
-You did, man.
-But, like, a good sponge.
I feel like I'm a sponge.
I love to take in everything I can take in.
-Yeah. -I walk around this great city.
And I see people's faces, and I go, "Really, is that your face?"
[ Laughter ]
Do you ever see people sometimes, they go,
"Hey, do you know what face you're making right now?"
Like, well, some people walk around with, like, a mean face.
-Oh, yeah. -And I go, "Hey."
I just always want to stop them and go, "You're making a --
Do you know what face you're making right now?
Are you in a bad mood, or is that your face you're making?"
-Yeah. Or sometimes they're smiling.
-I love -- That's what I want them to do.
Everyone should smile.
Everyone looks better when they smile.
-It could look a little crazy. You know what I mean?
-Yeah, yeah.
-Well, here's how I look smiling.
-Yeah, smile for me.
[ Laughter ]
That's not how you smile. You're swallowing.
-I'm not. This is like my -- my natural smile.
-Alright, I'll show you my smile.
-Alright.
Come on. Is that really your smile?
-That's really funny.
-It's, like, only one side of your face.
And this is drooping down a little bit.
I think a way to smile is just, like, wink a little bit.
-Well, that's pretty good. -Yeah, it's a little sparkle.
There you go.
[ Laughter ]
-"There you go."
Do you remember we used to do
two Jimmy Stewarts talking about music?
-Why? Why did we --
-Because we were bored. -Yeah.
-It was probably 4:00 in the morning at "SNL."
-Yeah, and we would, like, talk about records coming out.
We'd talk about bands, and it was nonsense.
-Did it come from -- -Was it --
I don't know if we were talking about Beatle records.
[ As Jimmy Stewart ] Yeah, what am I looking at?
Who's singing here?
-[ As Jimmy Stewart ] Yeah, Paul or John?
-Come on. -Or is it Ringo?
-That's solo's too long.
It was just filler.
-How can he sing while playing the drums?
[ Laughter ]
-[ Normal voice ] We went on forever.
-[ Normal voice ] We did a bit.
We never wrote it, but we talked about writing it.
It was a remake of "It's a Wonderful Life"
where Jimmy Stewart, you know, jumps off the bridge,
and then Clarence brings him to that moment
and he meets himself.
He's like, "Don't do it. Don't jump off the bridge."
And then a third Clarence and a third Jimmy Stewart comes in.
He's like, "What's going on?
Oh, you're the ghost telling him not to jump."
He's like, "Wait, this is weird."
-"Are we traveling through time? What is this?"
-"Yeah, there's three of me."
-Yeah, we never did it. We still can, though.
-No, we can't.
[ Laughter ]
-Always so many sketches.
-Always say yes immediately.
Immediately.
-That's what you always said.
That was the first thing you said to me.
-Yeah.
-Always say yes immediately.
-I'm a sponge, so, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
But you're currently -- You're going to go on tour.
You're going to go to Australia. -I'm going to Australia.
-That's a big deal. I never been. I love Australia.
-Oh, I've never been. I can't wait to go there.
-I'm freaking out. I love Australian people.
-I do, too. I like --
Sometimes if I travel, you know, if I'm at a restaurant,
I'm not a complainer, you know.
I'm just like, if the service is bad, I'm always like --
-That's how you hold your silverware?
-Yeah, I'm eating.
And if the service is really bad, I'm like,
"Oh, don't worry about it,"
But I like hearing Australians complain.
If an Australian complains, I get behind them.
There's something about their confidence.
Like [Australian accent] Been waiting an hour.
[ Normal voice ] You know? [ Laughter ]
[ Australian accent ] It's not right. It's not right.
[ Normal voice ] There's something about it that I'm with them.
-[ Australian accent ] Been waiting an hour.
[ Laughter ]
-[ Australian accent ] Better believe it.
How long do I have to wait?
[ Laughter ]
-[ Normal voice ] And you get their back.
-The volume -- I think they have a lot of volume is what it is.
-They're, for the most part, very positive people, too.
-Yeah, I think they should represent Earth.
-Wow. [ Laughter ]
You took it a little too far, but it's alright.